And you say 'It's okay'
I do agree with most of the things you said. You shouldn't cheat, because it's a horrible thing. But at the same time...we are all SIXTEEN years old. We've no desire for a commitment that will last the rest of, even the year. And if we DO love someone, we don't cheat. (Scarlett and Trevor) I think you brought up valid points. And no one is critisizing you for being honest. It's the way you did it. Venting is a beautiful thing, as we've all learned. It keeps some of us from doing very stupid things, and it releaves tension and stress. You vented the wrong way. You know, somewhere in there, that you could have come to me and just regergitated everything you felt. And you know that I would have done everything in my power to help you, to guide you. And I need to get something off my chest that recently has been brought to my attention, through my observing how we all interact now.
The 3 of us used to be inseperable. 1 of our problems was all 3 of our problems. And it was shared between all of us. And it was fixed between all of us. Then we got to have Scarlett and COurtney join our invincible friendship. Then we went through something that is harder than we hopefully will have to go through ever again. Then, once everything pretty much calmed down, Giuiliana joined us. Kelsey and I started being really good friends with the new semester apon all of us. Giuli was a blessing, first to Kirsten, and then we all got to know how...not to be corney...amazing she was. Finally, and most recently, Alexa and Mandy "joined" us. But somehow, in all the bussle of our everyday lives, someone started dripping off.
They stopped calling so much. Stopped caring as much. Then, today, it hit me.
You never can know someone 100%. Every once in a while, they do something so out of the ordinary that you're taken back with an emotion I still dont know how to describe. I think what happend is that after being so engrossed with just one person, you forget how much love you had with the people from before. You forget when someone said "Stupid dog! Midsey is such a skitz!" To protect you. You forget stupid things that help hold you together with people. I think that's what happend. We did everything to help you through the "loss", and then, you were gone. It was like we set you free or something. I feel like you've forgotten about us. And I've felt it for quite a while, and started messing up because of it. But now it's just like. You're doing this to yourself. To be blut.
You know that both of us would give our lives for you, at least I hope you do. Arguments are one thing. PMS is another. Forgiving goes with the territory. And Lord knows the 3 of us have done our share of forgiving. You most of all I think.
But when do you get to emotionally DRAINED to keep forgiving? You know she didn't tell me until today, right? Do you realize how that hurt? Do you get that I forgave her within minutes, understanding why? Don't you get why she told you? Dont you realize that we keep trying to get through to you, but can't fugure out how? And not in the way of like, 'stop doing this or you're going to loose us', but what I mean is, trying to break the caccoon you've built for yourself lately. I don't even think you comprehend how much we love you anymore. Honestly, I dont think you care anymore.
Yeah, you've moved on. That's one thing. You have new friends that arent us. We get that. We do too. What's strange though, is that we still let you in on our lives. The deep stuff. What she told you kind of stuff. You're not doing that anymore. The fact that you can't smoke because of States is the deepest you've gone with me in a loong time. I tried talking to you about how I FELT today, something that I thought you had my back with no matter what, and you ignored it. I cried after that conversation with you last night, and you dismissed it. Not even an apology. And you hung up on me today. How do you think that makes people feel?
You've got to admit I put up with ALOT before I even hint at things. But I cant do it anymore.
I...we?...feel like you're not the same person anymore. If you like the new you, I'll love you anyway. But take a step back, forget all the stress you're under right now, and remember this time, exactly, last year. Getting our yearbooks. The janitor stealing mine! Meeting Kirsten. Opening a new chapter in our lives.
You had States last year, you had your period last year, you had you parents yelling at you constantly last year, you had 'recently' broken up with someone you loved last year...I can't think of any more excuses you could come up with right now, but my point is that something changed. For the worst.
"How did it end up like this, it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss"
~The Killers
"Answer 'no' to these questions...you forget where the heart is"
~Yellowcard
The 3 of us used to be inseperable. 1 of our problems was all 3 of our problems. And it was shared between all of us. And it was fixed between all of us. Then we got to have Scarlett and COurtney join our invincible friendship. Then we went through something that is harder than we hopefully will have to go through ever again. Then, once everything pretty much calmed down, Giuiliana joined us. Kelsey and I started being really good friends with the new semester apon all of us. Giuli was a blessing, first to Kirsten, and then we all got to know how...not to be corney...amazing she was. Finally, and most recently, Alexa and Mandy "joined" us. But somehow, in all the bussle of our everyday lives, someone started dripping off.
They stopped calling so much. Stopped caring as much. Then, today, it hit me.
You never can know someone 100%. Every once in a while, they do something so out of the ordinary that you're taken back with an emotion I still dont know how to describe. I think what happend is that after being so engrossed with just one person, you forget how much love you had with the people from before. You forget when someone said "Stupid dog! Midsey is such a skitz!" To protect you. You forget stupid things that help hold you together with people. I think that's what happend. We did everything to help you through the "loss", and then, you were gone. It was like we set you free or something. I feel like you've forgotten about us. And I've felt it for quite a while, and started messing up because of it. But now it's just like. You're doing this to yourself. To be blut.
You know that both of us would give our lives for you, at least I hope you do. Arguments are one thing. PMS is another. Forgiving goes with the territory. And Lord knows the 3 of us have done our share of forgiving. You most of all I think.
But when do you get to emotionally DRAINED to keep forgiving? You know she didn't tell me until today, right? Do you realize how that hurt? Do you get that I forgave her within minutes, understanding why? Don't you get why she told you? Dont you realize that we keep trying to get through to you, but can't fugure out how? And not in the way of like, 'stop doing this or you're going to loose us', but what I mean is, trying to break the caccoon you've built for yourself lately. I don't even think you comprehend how much we love you anymore. Honestly, I dont think you care anymore.
Yeah, you've moved on. That's one thing. You have new friends that arent us. We get that. We do too. What's strange though, is that we still let you in on our lives. The deep stuff. What she told you kind of stuff. You're not doing that anymore. The fact that you can't smoke because of States is the deepest you've gone with me in a loong time. I tried talking to you about how I FELT today, something that I thought you had my back with no matter what, and you ignored it. I cried after that conversation with you last night, and you dismissed it. Not even an apology. And you hung up on me today. How do you think that makes people feel?
You've got to admit I put up with ALOT before I even hint at things. But I cant do it anymore.
I...we?...feel like you're not the same person anymore. If you like the new you, I'll love you anyway. But take a step back, forget all the stress you're under right now, and remember this time, exactly, last year. Getting our yearbooks. The janitor stealing mine! Meeting Kirsten. Opening a new chapter in our lives.
You had States last year, you had your period last year, you had you parents yelling at you constantly last year, you had 'recently' broken up with someone you loved last year...I can't think of any more excuses you could come up with right now, but my point is that something changed. For the worst.
"How did it end up like this, it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss"
~The Killers
"Answer 'no' to these questions...you forget where the heart is"
~Yellowcard