my head is floating.
i'm home sick right now. i have a fever..that is lessening..and my throat hurts like a bitch.
god, i don't know what to fucking write in here, this used to be like, my sanctuary, and now all i ever feel seems to be this odd sort of disconnection to people. i have a hard time knowing how to act with people that don't truly know me. and i'm wondering if that's a good or bad thing. i hate that i need people. i hate that they don't need me as much as i need them. or suppose they do and i never know it....."i could say that i didn't love you...but what would be the point in it?".... part of me wants to hate them for changing, but i know that is naive, ignorant. but god, at least make an effort to change for the better. i hate it when they give into their human instincts. or not even their human instincts, but their animal instincts, what the hell is that about? i don't get it..
yesterday, i talked to an old friend for the first time...and i left feeling so sad..they're wasting away. alli really wanted to do was hold them in my arms, and try to...well, fuck i don't really know..but it was something..something, that took them back to when things were beautiful...
that day at the lake, that was beautiful..perfect and serene and smooth..like ice dripping at your lips on hott summer days..that's what i wanted to show them..but oh the limitations.
fuck the limitations.
god, i don't know what to fucking write in here, this used to be like, my sanctuary, and now all i ever feel seems to be this odd sort of disconnection to people. i have a hard time knowing how to act with people that don't truly know me. and i'm wondering if that's a good or bad thing. i hate that i need people. i hate that they don't need me as much as i need them. or suppose they do and i never know it....."i could say that i didn't love you...but what would be the point in it?".... part of me wants to hate them for changing, but i know that is naive, ignorant. but god, at least make an effort to change for the better. i hate it when they give into their human instincts. or not even their human instincts, but their animal instincts, what the hell is that about? i don't get it..
yesterday, i talked to an old friend for the first time...and i left feeling so sad..they're wasting away. alli really wanted to do was hold them in my arms, and try to...well, fuck i don't really know..but it was something..something, that took them back to when things were beautiful...
that day at the lake, that was beautiful..perfect and serene and smooth..like ice dripping at your lips on hott summer days..that's what i wanted to show them..but oh the limitations.
fuck the limitations.