Pull me out and lead me where it's safe to say...
Hell. An accurate description of my life. I don't know what to do anymore. I miss feeling happy, like really happy, and just going out and having fun. I just spent an hour watching Gilmore Girls and actually felt guilty for it when I don't even have that much to do. That is the epitomy of patheticism. I feel like...i don't know...I've gotten myself to this point and I feel like I can't get out anymore. Well, I just don't want to. I feel like I've done something wrong, but I haven't. I want to give up and say screw everything. Junior year has been hell and I haven't reached the goals I set for myself, not even once. It's so frustrating to not be able to get to where I want to be, especially when I know I worked my ass off and I got so close. I'm just done with this and I don't want to have any more obligations at all. I want this summer to be amazing to make up for the past twelve months. I hope I can get past the fact that I have driver education five days a week before 9am. And I want to go have fun. Don't I deserve at least that much? I know this sounds conceited and evil and pathetic and horrible of me, and I know that I've been miserable and annoying lately, (and that this is a massive run on sentence) and I just need to get over myself, but this is the stress that's been building up all year. And I'm really sorry for being that way, especially latey, I just can't do it anymore, I know I've made it this far, but I just want to be done. Isn't this supposed to be the time of our lives? Prom, parties, roadtrips, being crazy and having an amazing time? Not SATs, ACTs, AP, studying, and living at school? I know for the most part it's worth it and I didn't hate the whole year, I'm just really frustrated. Whatever. Everything's going to be ok....right?
<33 magz
<33 magz