I feel like I wimped out a little on the horrible and repulsive aspect of this
Dude, I assure you -- for those of us who don't have to perform this little chore for doggies? It's horrible and repulsive to think of. *g*
I think you struck just the right note in this of JC trying not to think about the breakup by concentrating on the physical; it doesn't seem like the usual "daffy JC" kind of thing at all. He seems dislocated and like he's moving with exaggerated care, if that makes sense, and in that way I think you caught that sense of finding beauty in the ugly very well.
As for critique...I was gonna say that maybe you could have added something about the smell, or more description, but to be honest? I don't think I could have taken it. Consider me duly grossed, lady. Heh!
- Yeah, so anyway, I actually don't have a dog myself, but I've done my share of walking other people's dogs, and I guess you become a little inured to it after a while. Still I'm glad this was sufficiently gross, because I'm not sure I could have spun it out much further.
I love the description "moving with exaggerated care" - that feels exactly right, what I was picturing. Hurray! And thank you very much for the kind words!
I'm so late! But sudden random days off are a good thing!
Smells would have been good, yes. In the bad way, lsdjlk. But this is pretty rich without.
As far as the shit leaving your body = lovers leaving you deal, maybe not. Hee! But I think JC might think that was a great pissy analogy, and that's canon, baby.
You know what's funny is I wasn't even really thinking that much about the smell. Maybe if I'd done method research like Maggie did. But yeah, that would have made the sensory experience more complete.
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Dude, I assure you -- for those of us who don't have to perform this little chore for doggies? It's horrible and repulsive to think of. *g*
I think you struck just the right note in this of JC trying not to think about the breakup by concentrating on the physical; it doesn't seem like the usual "daffy JC" kind of thing at all. He seems dislocated and like he's moving with exaggerated care, if that makes sense, and in that way I think you caught that sense of finding beauty in the ugly very well.
As for critique...I was gonna say that maybe you could have added something about the smell, or more description, but to be honest? I don't think I could have taken it. Consider me duly grossed, lady. Heh!
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- Yeah, so anyway, I actually don't have a dog myself, but I've done my share of walking other people's dogs, and I guess you become a little inured to it after a while. Still I'm glad this was sufficiently gross, because I'm not sure I could have spun it out much further.
I love the description "moving with exaggerated care" - that feels exactly right, what I was picturing. Hurray! And thank you very much for the kind words!
Reply
Smells would have been good, yes. In the bad way, lsdjlk. But this is pretty rich without.
As far as the shit leaving your body = lovers leaving you deal, maybe not. Hee! But I think JC might think that was a great pissy analogy, and that's canon, baby.
Reply
You know what's funny is I wasn't even really thinking that much about the smell. Maybe if I'd done method research like Maggie did. But yeah, that would have made the sensory experience more complete.
Thank you for the comments!
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