Wings of love (Aimiya)
Title: Wings of love
Pairing: Aimiya
Rating/Warnings: PG-15
Summary: Nino has been sick ever since he's been a child. Half of his life is spent in between home and the hospital which makes him a loner; until one day, a fairy shows up to brighten his life.
Notes: Written for the arashi_exchange for koi_choshi
Since Nino had been a child, his fairy had almost always been with him. Everything had started 25 years ago when Nino was 8 years old.
25 years ago
“Hospital?” Nino’s mother whispered, not knowing that her child hid behind the door. Nino could hear every single word they exchanged.
Nino was barefoot and slowly, he started freezing. It was winter after all. His pyjama was far too big and he looked like he had shrank, but actually it was his brother’s pyjama he had stolen some weeks ago, because he loved its colour.
“But,” his mother’s voice was whiny “is there no other chance?”
“I fear there’s not.” Nino knew this voice. It was the small town’s doctor.
Nino had fainted at school and now he had high fever. The doctor had ordered a general check-up. Nino had been staying at for six days in a row and slowly it started to get boring at home, but going to the hospital didn’t sound any better.
“That can’t be,” his mother repeated again and again. Nino and his brother were the only family his mother had, and she was always caring for them. Their father had died years ago and they had moved to this small town so staying in hospital would mean that Nino would be far away from home and his mother wouldn’t be able to visit him often. His brother was only one year older; he had to go to school and their mother worked a lot.
Nino could feel his legs shaking. His feet were cold like he had wandered through the snow for hours.
“Mama?” he said as he stepped into the living room. At least there was a carpet on the floor so it felt immediately warmer around his feet.
His mother turned to him. Her eyes were sad and she had cried. “Kazu, did you listen to us?”
Nino nodded. He nibbled on his lower lip to suppress his upcoming tears. He didn’t want to go away from home. “Do I need to go to the hospital?”
His mother knelt in front of him. She stroked her son’s arms lovingly. “Everything will be alright. I promise.”
~~~
Weeks had passed and Nino was still in the hospital. They had made test over test, but no one could say what was wrong with him.
“Do you feel this?” The doctor stuck a small needle into Nino’s arm.
Nino looked at his arm. “Yes,” he said.
“Does it hurt?” The doctor wanted to know.
“No.” Nino looked up at the doctor. “It just tickles a little bit.”
The doctor sighed. “What’s wrong with me?” Nino asked.
The doctor sat next to Nino’s bed. “We are still searching for a possible reason, Kazunari-kun.” He looked intensely at Nino. “Kazunari-kun, you know why you fainted, right?”
Nino nodded. He could feel his tears running down his cheeks. Where was his mother? Why wasn’t she with him when he needed someone right this moment.
“Why did you do that?” The doctor pushed further.
“I don’t understand what he wants from you?” Nino winced. Nino looked at the window sill. A boy in his age sat there, looking at him.
“He’s a doctor,” Nino replied.
“What did you say?” The doctor asked.
“That boy … “ Nino wanted to point at him, but he was gone. “It’s not that important,” Nino finally said.
“So, Kazunari-kun, why did you do that?” The doctor asked again.
“Don’t know,” Nino whispered. He really didn’t know. He had been at school on the rooftop together with some schoolmates. Ohno - probably Nino’s only friend - stumbled and ended with a bloody knee. He had started crying because of pain. Nino started wondering why he had never cried because of a bloody knee or any other wound.
Then he got the idea to test it out himself. He had stolen a knife from the school’s canteen and had hid behind the tool shed.
He just wanted to make a small cut to feel the pain, but when there was no feeling he cut deeper till he could feel the blood running down his arm. There was no pain, no urge to cry out.
The trail of blood running down his arm looked beautiful. Everything started spinning around. At least now he had the feeling to cry out loud.
His classmates had found him. They had called the ambulance. It had been the first time he was hospitalized, but back then everyone thought it had been an accident. But it wasn't, and it wasn't the last time he did something like this so he had landed here. Even though he was only 8 years old, he already knew this wasn’t a normal hospital.
“Can you tell me, why you did this?” The doctor pulled Nino out of his thoughts.
Nino told him about Ohno and that he had wondered why he didn’t feel like Ohno when he was hurt.
“And that’s why you hurt yourself?” The doctor said.
Nino nodded. “How long do I need to stay here?” Nino asked. “I want to go back to school soon.” He had looked around the last days and there were only adults around him and not even a single person was his age - just the boy from before whom he had never seen before.
The doctor sighed. “You know Kazunari-kun, we still need to make check-ups and we need to find the reason for what’s happening to you. We can’t let you go like this.”
“But there is no one here my age - except this one boy,” Nino whined. “And my mom and my brother can only visit me on weekends... I want to go home.” Tears dropped down Nino’s cheeks.
The doctor stroked Nino’s head. “I know there’s no one your age, but I promise to send you a nurse to take care of you.”
“What about that boy?” Nino wanted to know.
“I don’t know who you mean. There is no other boy around here.”
Nino tilted his head. Who the hell had he seen before? “Maybe I'm wrong,” he just said.
~~~
It was still dark outside when Nino woke up. He almost yelled out when he saw the shadow on his window sill.
“Who are you?” Nino tried to stay calm.
The boy jumped down and sat next to Nino’s bed. “Aiba Masaki, nice to meet you.”
Nino looked at the boy closely. His smile was bright and his eyes had something warm and familiar.
“What are you doing here at this time?” Nino asked.
“I'm watching over you,” Aiba replied.
“You … what?”
Now Aiba laughed. “I am here to take care of you.”
Nino pulled his eyebrows up. “You are not older than me, so how will you take care of me?”
“I heard you were alone here, so I was sent here to stay with you.” Aiba smiled.
This was strange. “Who sent you?”
Aiba waved his hand. “That doesn’t matter. I'm your support.”
~~~
Present time
Ever since that time, Aiba had never left Nino’s side - except for a small period in the past. But even when Nino got healthier, Aiba was at his side.
~~~
18 years ago
“Again?” Nino sighed. He was 15 years old and by now he was already used to staying in hospital. Sometimes he was there for check-ups, sometimes he needed to stay in the special clinic when his condition got weak as he tended to try painful things on his own body.
His mother looked at him sadly. “They want to make some other check-ups.”
“And until I am in the hospital, you lock me at home?” Nino said angrily. He was already used to getting locked-in by his mother. She was oversensitive when it came to Nino going out - okay, Nino was really careless sometimes, but even then he didn’t want to be home all time.
“I told you that you weren't allowed to ride the mountain bike downhill. You wanted to hurt yourself again, right?” His mother yelled.
“I agree with her, you … you … stupid Nino!” Aiba blurted out next to him.
“Nothing bad happened, so keep cool,” Nino just replied.
His mother got angry; Nino could see that in her dark glance. “Is this how you talk to me?”
“Yes, is this how you talk to your mother?” Aiba drew himself up to his full height, hands on hips.
Nino rolled his eyes. “Oh gosh, you want to take the last thing I call living from me, right? Shall I stay at home, packed in pillows so that nothing bad can happen to me?” Nino felt the anger rising in him. In this moment he didn’t care how he talked to his mother.
“Exactly, that’s my plan.” Aiba nodded, earning a dark glance from Nino.
“Leave me alone, the both of you.”
“The both of you?” his mother said. “Don’t tell me you're pretending to see this fairy again?” His mother sounded worried.
“I just wanted to fool you.” Nino shrugged. He slammed the door to his room and sat on his window sill.
He could hear his mother leaving the apartment. She was probably on her way to work. He knew the discussion wasn't finished yet, but at least for some time Nino would have some peace and quiet - at least that’s what he thought.
“What were you thinking when you decided to drive down that hill, surrounded by trees and lakes and stones?” Aiba came to his room. The worst thing was that he didn’t need an open door to come in. So even locking his door wasn’t an option.
Nino couldn’t remember how often they had discussed if Aiba was a fairy or a ghost. Were fairies able to walk through doors? He didn’t know, but Aiba saw himself as a fairy - maybe because of the tiny wings he had. They were too small to let him fly, but he was so damn proud of them that Nino didn’t dare to laugh about them - at least not anymore.
Aiba had been at his side from the very first time he had been hospitalized for a long period of time. And until today, he hadn't thought about leaving him anytime soon. At least that’s what he thought. And even though Nino pretended that he was annoyed because of Aiba’s presence, he pretty much enjoyed having a friend. He was missing a bunch of school time and he already didn’t have many friends there - this was also one reason for his daring road downhill - he wanted to find friends. In the end, Nino didn’t care about dying - not anymore. Not after he had spent so much time in a hospital.
Nino sighed. He looked down to his bruises on his leg. He pressed his finger onto the bluest part of it - nothing. It was like a feather touching him. “Am I a pervert?”
“What?” Aiba walked up to him and sat towards him on the window sill. “Why do you think this way?”
“Because I want to know how pain feels.” Nino leaned his head against the cold window. “You know, I see all the boys and girls at sport class. How they yell out when they get fouled in a soccer match or how, last time Jun ran against the doorframe and his left toe got blue. He screamed and yelled out; I want to know how this feels like.”
Aiba touched Nino’s knee softly. It felt weird, because the touch was lighter than one from a human being. Nino knew that it asked Aiba a lot of strength to make the touch possible. “You aren’t a pervert, Nino-chan, at least not in this case.” Aiba smirked. He always wanted to lighten up Nino’s mood, and most of the time it worked.
“You are stupid.” Nino laughed while tears ran down his cheeks.
“Hey, I am not the one with porno magazines under my bed.” Aiba crossed his arms.
“You stalked me?” Nino asked.
“Actually …” Aiba blushed. “I stumbled over them.”
Nino pulled his left eyebrow up. “How can you ‘stumble’ over them if they are under my bed?”
“You don’t need to suffer because of your illness,” Aiba said to change the topic.
“No, no.” Nino raised his hands. “I want to know why you know about my magazines.” Nino sounded more amused than annoyed, because he could see how embarrassed Aiba was.
Aiba nibbled on his lower lip. His cheeks were deeply red and he rubbed his hands on his jeans nervously. Nino burst out in laughter. “You’re way too funny when you’re like that,” Nino wiped away the tears of joy on his cheeks.
“Stupid human,” Aiba grumbled. “But at least I was able to make you laugh again.”
Nino hiccupped because laughter and tears running down his cheeks combined. Aiba looked at Nino like he was about to lose his mind.
Aiba moved his wings like he always did when he started getting nervous. “Nino-chan, how about we watch a movie together, or play Mario Kart?” Aiba tried to sound calm and soothing, but he totally failed.
“Why can’t I be a normal teenager like my brother for example?” Nino burst out.
“Oh, because he’s on a boat trip with a friend right now?” Aiba asked.
Nino felt his heart beat quicken. “He’s one year older, but he’s allowed to do everything he wants to... just because he’s not like me. He’s normal. And I am not even allowed to go out with my classmates to eat an ice cream, because I could get hurt without being aware of it. And yes, I don’t call them friends, because they aren’t my friends - I have no friends on this stupid, fucking world,” Nino yelled out. All his frustration came out at this moment and he hated himself and the rest of the world.
“But you have me.” Aiba pointed at himself, a smile curling on his lips.
“You are just here because there is no human friend there for me after all. You are not real, you’re just a trick of my imagination. So I won’t call you a friend,” Nino explained.
For a moment he could see something breaking in Aiba’s eyes. Did he really hurt him? Was it possible to hurt a fairy? But in the end Aiba wasn’t real, was he?”
“Oh, I understand.” Aiba jumped down from the window sill. He started to fade. It made Nino slightly panic.
“Where are you going?”
Aiba looked back at him. “I need some sleep now.”
“I am sorry Masaki, I didn’t want to hurt you, it’s just …” Nino started, but Aiba just shook his head.
“It’s okay, see you later.” With that Aiba disappeared.
“Wait,” Nino said, but Aiba was already gone. “Fuck,” Nino cursed. “Now I probably drove away the only friend I have... real or not.”
“Kazu?” He heard a voice calling.
“Yes,” Nino yelled back annoyed.
He could see a head appearing next to the doorframe. “I am back.” Jun, his brother, smiled at him.
“Fine.” Nino turned to rummage in his bag. He wanted to look like he was busy. “I am going out now.”
Jun looked at him. “But I thought you were grounded after that mountain bike ride?”
“I’m not fragile, Jun. I’m going out now. I don’t care about mother’s words.” Nino wanted to pass Jun, but the other held him back.
“I can’t let you go,” Jun said.
Nino pulled his arm free. “I am not a child anymore.”
“But you are sick.” Jun looked at him fiercely.
“Yes, for my entire life I’ll be sick, Jun. But you know what really makes me sick?” Nino breathed out. “To stay at home in a golden cage, while everyone else is living. I hate that you and mom want to make me stay at home all time.”
“But …”
“No, Jun. No ‘but’. Every single one of my classmates is going out with their friends, and you know what? I don’t even have a friend. Well, except for one special friend,” Nino explained. “And I don’t want this anymore. I am not a prisoner.” Nino felt incredibly good and free after he had said that.
Jun let Nino’s arm go. “Be careful. And be back home before mom comes back.”
Nino grabbed his shoes and opened the door. “You know I love you, right brother?”
Nino walked down the stony road through the woods to get to the cliff where his classmates always met. He’d never admit it, but he was already missing his fairy’s stupid comments. But Aiba didn’t show up, and by now Nino didn’t know that it would be another 2 years till he saw Aiba again.
~~~
17 years ago
“Can you remember the day you came to this cliff?” Sho said. He let his hand roam over Nino’s chest. They met at Sho’s place, because Nino’s mother would probably freak out to know that her son had a friend, and Nino totally didn’t want to explain anything to his mom.
Nino nodded. He had gone to that cliff where he had met a few classmates. He and Sho had talked a lot on that afternoon, and soon they started meeting regularly. Nino met him secretly, because he didn’t want to bother his mother. But he also didn’t tell Sho about his illness. Sho and Nino hadn’t been in the same school, so he didn’t know that Nino had stayed at home most of time.
Nino was happy for the first time in his life, but there was something missing. A small part of him was empty and sad. He shook his head.
“What are you thinking about?” Sho kissed Nino’s forehead.
“I have a friend I haven’t seen in ages, and somehow I want to know how he is doing,” Nino replied.
~~~
16 years ago
Nino cried for the entire day. He had coiled up on his bed, pillows and blankets around him. It was raining outside and heavy drops knocked against the window.
Nino heard the door open. He didn’t want to see someone right now. “Say one word and I am going to kill this guy,” Jun said. Nino turned to face his brother. He was still sobbing.
“It’s okay. Actually it was me who broke up,” Nino explained.
“Why?” Jun sat at the edge of the bed.
Nino rubbed his face. “I am going to a hospital in Tokyo soon and I need to stay there for at least three months. You know, they want to make some new tests and use some new meds on me,” Nino said. “And I don’t want to force Sho to come and visit me all time. It’s a long drive after all. And he has some good friends here to spend time with.” Nino didn’t know if Jun believed him, but he probably didn’t. Yet Jun didn’t say anything.
“I'll be in my room if you need me.” Jun touched Nino’s leg softly before he stood up to leave the room.
Nino nodded and turned to face his wall again. His mind was blank.
“You are a bad liar.” Nino shrieked when he heard a voice behind him. He turned and looked at Aiba sitting on the floor, hands around his legs.
“Aiba-chan,” Nino yelled out and slipped out of his bed to sit next to Aiba. “Where the hell have you been? Two years! I've missed you so much, and I am so sorry for what I said. I wanted to find you, but I had no idea how to find a fairy, and you never reacted when I called for you.”
“I was really upset and sad back then,” Aiba started. “But I wanted to return to you. But then I saw you with Sho, and I knew I had become useless for you till now.”
“How can you say something like that?” Nino asked.
Aiba smiled at him. He stretched his legs and leaned back against the closet. “I am here because you feel lonely, Nino. I was sent because you had no friends back then when you were 8 years old. You were alone at the hospital and that’s why I came to you. As I said, I wanted to return to you, but then I saw you with Sho and my mission was completed - You weren’t lonely anymore.”
“And now you are back because Sho left me?” Nino wondered.
“Yes, somehow … maybe … yes, something like that,” Aiba said.
“Why are you so nervous? What’s the real reason?” Nino wanted to know.
Aiba shifted nervously. “You see … actually … we aren’t allowed to go back to people who already have a ‘mission completed’ stamp, but I asked some friends to help me get your case reopened.”
“Sounds like your office is a civil service office,” Nino grumbled.
Aiba chuckled. “Yeah, it is probably like that.”
“And now you’ll stay with me?” Nino wanted to know.
“Till you aren’t alone anymore,” Aiba answered. “You lied Nino-chan.” Aiba looked at him. “Why did you tell your brother that you left Sho?”
Nino looked at the ground. He got embarrassed. “I don’t want to be pampered and Jun is a pro in playing the mom-with-self-made-cookies-hot-milk-a-so
up-and-super-sappy-romantic-movies.”
Aiba blinked. “And we find that … ?”
“Horrible!” Nino said.
“And because …?” Aiba said.
Nino sighed. “Because I’m not in the mood to explain why I lost the only friend I ever had.” He looked at Aiba. “Only human friend,” he added.
“Why did he leave you?” Aiba asked.
Something in Nino twitched and pulled painfully. He had the feeling to throw up. “I never told him about my illness, and when I learned about my stay at the hospital, I needed to tell him the truth.” Nino only told Aiba half of the real story, but that had to be enough for now.
~~~
Nino hated the smell of hospitals. His mother had talked with him during the whole drive here and Nino’s head was already spinning.
“And you need to do everything the doctors ask you to,” she said nervously.
“Mom.” Nino rolled his eyes. “I am 16 years old. I'm not a child anymore.”
Nino walked down the corridor till he reached the reception. “Ah, Ninomiya-san, we've already prepared your room. Come with me.”
Nino turned to his mother. “I can go alone now, mom. Jun is already outside, waiting for you.” Nino had a bad feeling, but he didn’t want to have his mother around now. She was way too caring, and Nino didn’t want the feeling to be pampered all the time.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” the nurse said. “He’s old enough and he wants to be an adult, so better let him,” the nurse whispered at his mom and winked at Nino.
His mother was more nervous than Nino, but she finally agreed. “I’ll go do some shopping with Jun. We’ll visit you later.”
“Sounds good,” Nino said. “And I am sorry for causing you so much trouble,” Nino added. He was sure his mother was about to cry when she turned and left the hospital. She never wanted to show her boys any kind of weakness, something Nino didn’t understand.
~~~
Nino lay in bed, the first injection dropping down in the small tube and into a needle in his left arm.
“If it weren’t you, I’d say that looks painful,” Aiba said.
Everyone else would have gotten a bunch of not so nice words from Nino, but with Aiba it was different. He was allowed to say things no one else dared to say, especially when it was about Nino’s illness.
“You’re stupid,” Nino said.
Aiba took place on the window sill. “What are they going to do with you?”
Nino looked out of the window. “I am not sure.” He turned and stood up to sit with Aiba on the sill. It reminded him of the day two years ago where everything had ended in a fight with Aiba. This time it wouldn’t end like this. Nino would never admit it, because he wasn’t a softie, but he was glad that he had come back to him. “They’ll make some tests and maybe there is a chance for a surgery.”
Aiba looked pale. “That sounds horrible.” His wings fluttered fast. He was incredibly nervous. “Why are you smiling?”
Nino tried touching Aiba’s knee and to his surprise, he was able to. “You are cute when you are nervous.” Nino chuckled. He blushed a little when he realized what he had said.
Aiba nibbled on his lower lip. “I am not cute,” he murmured. Aiba looked up. “I hope the medicine works out for you. So you can start a new life,” Aiba said.
Nino felt a pain in his chest. Of course he wanted to be healthy and he wanted to make friends, but he knew what it meant for his bond with Aiba. “Is there no way that you can stay with me even though I don’t feel lonely anymore?”
Aiba’s smile got sad. “No.” He sighed. “It’s the number one rule: don’t stay with clients who don’t need you anymore. There are so many people who need us, so we can’t stay forever with someone.”
“I see.” Nino nodded. Of course he understood, but he didn’t want to accept this. Maybe he should stay a loner? Nino shook his head. What was he thinking here?
Someone knocked on the door and Nino saw Jun smiling at him once the door opened. “Am I disturbing you?” Jun asked.
“No, come in,” Nino said as he jumped down from the window sill.
“How are you doing?” Jun asked.
Nino just shrugged. Sometimes it was hard for him to find a topic that would suit Jun. Maybe it was because of the way Jun looked at him. He always had the feeling that Jun pitied him, and Nino absolutely didn’t want this.
“I told mom that I wanted some ‘just brothers’ time.” Jun chuckled. “She was so overjoyed that she decided to do some extra shopping. So we have some mother-free time now.” Jun sat at the small table Nino had in his room. “And I thought maybe you'd like some motherless time.”
“He’s so major cute,” Aiba said. His wings fluttered up and down. “Sorry,” he said when Nino glanced at him.
“That’s good,” Nino answered. He looked at his brother closely. Jun was nervous, and that hardly happened. “You look nervous Jun...”
Jun smiled at him. “Well,” he started. “I need to tell you something.” Oh no, Nino had feared something like this.
“What?” Nino looked at his brother. Did he really want to hear what Jun had to tell him?
“I am going out with someone,” Jun said.
There was more; just the fact that Jun met someone wasn’t worth being that nervous. “And?” Nino asked.
Jun sighed. “It’s someone you know.”
Nino froze. “Don’t tell me it’s Sho.”
Jun tilted his head. “No, it isn’t.”
“Okay, but who?” Nino wanted to know.
“Ohno.”
Nino burst out into laughter. He didn’t know why Jun was so afraid of telling him this. Ohno had just been a classmate and never more. “That’s real cool, but I wonder how you got him to recognize you? He is always so closed off and absent-minded.”
“Yeah,” Jun nodded. “Sometimes I wonder about that myself.” He smiled. “But it happened naturally, or so.” Jun shrugged. “And you’re really okay with that?”
“Ohhhhhhh … being in love is so nice.” Aiba lay on Nino’s bed, his head resting on his hands. He grinned madly. Something in Nino jumped up and down.
Nino ignored his fairy and sat next to Jun. “I am perfectly fine with that.”
Jun breathed out; he suddenly seemed totally relaxed and happy. “I was so afraid of telling you.” Jun opened his bag and placed a box with cookies on the table. “And now let’s eat.” He smiled.
“You want me to get fat?” Nino joked.
“You’re way too thin, so don’t talk about getting fat.” Aiba lay on the bed, his legs resting on the wall.
“I’m not that thin,” Nino said.
“What?” Jun blinked at him.
Stupid Aiba. “Nothing, I just wanted to say that I’m not that thin that I am allowed to eat what I want to.”
“Yeah, of course.” Jun rolled his eyes. “Say Kazu-chan, is there someone you like at the moment?”
Nino choked on his cookie. He blushed when he looked at Aiba, who sat up when Jun had asked this question.
“Ahhh … you know …” Nino said.
Jun smiled at him. “Oh dear, there really is someone.”
Nino closed his eyes. Maybe Jun would just disappear. He didn’t want to talk about that topic, because he hadn’t said anything to anyone anytime before.
Aiba giggled. Nino opened his eyes and almost jumped when Aiba’s face was in front of him. He poked his finger on Nino’s cheek. “You’re deep red.”
“Not funny,” Nino grumbled.
“Just a little bit,” Jun said. “Who is it?” He leaned closer to Nino.
Nino crossed his arms. Not in a million years was he going to say it out loud.
“Oh my god,” Aba stepped back. “It’s that girl down the corridor, right?” Aiba chirped. He clapped his hands and jumped up and down nervously.
“You’re like you’ve always been as a child. You always sulked like that.” Jun grinned. “Just tell me the name of your crush.”
Nino shook his head. “Or at least the initials,” Jun begged.
Nino looked up at Jun. “A and M.” He felt his heart beat quicken. Why the hell did he speak that out loud? That wasn’t a good idea. He turned to Aiba who had stopped moving.
“You’re kidding,” Aiba whispered. “I need to go now, I’ll … see you later.” With that he just disappeared.
Nino wanted to jump up and hold him back, but Jun would’ve called him insane.
“I’ve no idea who it is.” Jun sighed.
“And you’ll never know.” Nino smiled sadly.
~~~
Two days had passed and Aiba hadn’t shown up. Nino was worried that he had lost his precious fairy again. He wished he hadn't said a single word two days ago.
He didn’t want to live without that stupid man anymore. Aiba had been part of his life for so long and without even realizing it, Nino’s feelings for Aiba grew bigger.
“Did you listen to me?” the doctor said.
“I’m sorry.” Nino looked up.
“We want to try a new kind of surgery tomorrow morning,” the doctor repeated.
“Okay,” Nino said. “Let’s try it.” In the end he couldn’t care less. He just wanted the doctors to leave him alone.
Thirty minutes later they had finished the discussion about the surgery and Nino was alone again.
“Aiba-chan?” he said, but nothing happened.
“There is a small risk that you won’t wake up after the surgery. And we can’t guarantee that the surgery works out,” the doctor had explained. “You’ll get a strong sleeping pill in a few hours so you’ll sleep till everything’s over.”
Damn … he wanted to see Aiba before it was too late.
“Masaki?” Nothing.
He tried it till evening, but Aiba didn’t show up.
When the doctors gave him the pill, Nino felt immediately tired.
He turned to the side and smiled when he saw Aiba sitting there, his head and hands resting on Nino’s bed. Nino raised his arm to stroke Aiba’s head. He could touch him; Nino knew he was probably already dreaming.
“I am sorry Nino-chan, but I can’t stay with you as your fairy,” Aiba whispered. “I am not allowed to love you.” He took Nino’s hand in his.
Aiba’s hand felt warm and perfect. “Tell me Nino, did you really say the truth? Do you like me?”
Nino was already dozing off, but he smiled. “Mhm, I love you.”
Aiba smiled sadly. “Then your fairy has to leave you now.”
Everything around Nino got dark.
~~~
Nino dreamed about a big meadow. He lay there together with Aiba who smiled at him brightly.
Nino turned to the side and let his hand wander over Aiba’s waist. It was incredible to feel his fairy for real. Nino leaned closer to place a soft kiss on Aiba’s lips. It was like fireworks exploded inside of Nino.
He looked at Aiba like he wanted permission to kiss him again. Nino stroked Aiba’s cheeks. He felt so warm and his face was slightly pink. Nino kissed him again. This time it was more eager and demanding. Aiba leaned into it and soon their kiss heated up, their tongues danced around each other and Nino could feel the other’s hands pulling him closer till their bodies were pressed against each other.
Nino smiled into the kiss when he felt Aiba moving against him, rubbing their crotches against each other.
Nino suddenly felt tired and everything got blurry; darkness surrounded him.
“Kazu-chan?” It was his mother’s voice. He slowly opened his eyes.
Nino blinked, the lights dazzling him. He grunted and tried moving, but all the needles and machines around him made it impossible to move.
“God, you are awake,” Jun said.
Yes, he was. But he would have preferred to stay in his dream with Aiba. He shuddered. Had Aiba been here last night to tell him that he’d leave him just because Nino admitted his feelings? Nino hated himself because of that.
“How was the surgery?” Nino asked.
The doctor next to him poured liquid in a tube. “It’s too early to say, but we hope that it worked out.”
“That’s good, I guess.” Nino smiled tiredly. Maybe he’d fall asleep now and maybe he’d get back to Aiba now.
“Kazu, there is someone who wants to see you.” Jun grinned sheepishly.
“A visitor? For me?” Nino felt awake out of the blue.
“Yeah, a certain A & M.” Jun winked.
Nino felt the heat rushing through his body. It couldn’t be.
“Hello.” Nino heard a well-known voice coming from the door.
It was definitely Aiba, but how, where, why? Nino was totally nervous.
“Masaki?” Nino croaked.
“I think we’ll wait outside,” Jun said pulling their mother along.
Aiba stepped towards Nino’s bed. He took Nino’s hand in his. It felt like the evening before. Had Aiba really been here? “How’s that possible? They can see you? What …?” Nino started, but Aiba raised his hand.
He stroked over Nino’s hand with a smile curling on his lips before he started talking. “It feels good to really feel you.”
“Masaki,” Nino said impatiently.
“Sorry.” Aiba sat on the chair without letting Nino’s hand go.
“You told me about your feelings and it was like a dream came true for me.”
“But you told me yesterday that you can’t stay with me.” Nino said. He feared that Aiba would disappear immediately or that he was still dreaming.
“I said I can’t stay with you as your fairy.” Nino looked up at him.
“What have you done?” Nino wanted to know.
“I became a human,” Aiba replied.
“Because of me?” Nino felt his stomach twitching. He had never thought of something like this.
“Yes,” Aiba laughed. “I am stupid, right?”
Nino tried to move, but he couldn’t. “Pease come a little closer,” he said.
Aiba did as he was told and leaned closer till Nino could let his finger wander over Aiba’s cheeks. They felt exactly like they did back in his dream. He placed his hand behind Aiba’s neck and pulled him down to kiss him.
It felt surreal and strange, but in a totally good way. Aiba leaned into the kiss and it felt like time had stopped around them.
~~~
Present time
Nino let his hand wander over Aiba’s back.
“Stop that,” Aiba giggled. “I’m ticklish and you know that.”
He turned to press Nino down on the bed. “You’ll pay for tickling me.”
Nino grinned at him. “Good that I hardly feel any pain.” Nino joked, earning an almost soft slap from Aiba. “Okay, that hurt a little.” Nino grinned.
The surgery wasn’t all successful, but at least he felt a little pain by now.
And he had gotten his own fairy; well he still called him fairy, even though he wasn’t one anymore. The only thing Nino missed was Aiba’s cute, little wings.
He looked at his naked fairy. He stroked over Aiba’s upper body and belly. Okay, that was definitely better than any wings.
Pairing: Aimiya
Rating/Warnings: PG-15
Summary: Nino has been sick ever since he's been a child. Half of his life is spent in between home and the hospital which makes him a loner; until one day, a fairy shows up to brighten his life.
Notes: Written for the arashi_exchange for koi_choshi
Since Nino had been a child, his fairy had almost always been with him. Everything had started 25 years ago when Nino was 8 years old.
25 years ago
“Hospital?” Nino’s mother whispered, not knowing that her child hid behind the door. Nino could hear every single word they exchanged.
Nino was barefoot and slowly, he started freezing. It was winter after all. His pyjama was far too big and he looked like he had shrank, but actually it was his brother’s pyjama he had stolen some weeks ago, because he loved its colour.
“But,” his mother’s voice was whiny “is there no other chance?”
“I fear there’s not.” Nino knew this voice. It was the small town’s doctor.
Nino had fainted at school and now he had high fever. The doctor had ordered a general check-up. Nino had been staying at for six days in a row and slowly it started to get boring at home, but going to the hospital didn’t sound any better.
“That can’t be,” his mother repeated again and again. Nino and his brother were the only family his mother had, and she was always caring for them. Their father had died years ago and they had moved to this small town so staying in hospital would mean that Nino would be far away from home and his mother wouldn’t be able to visit him often. His brother was only one year older; he had to go to school and their mother worked a lot.
Nino could feel his legs shaking. His feet were cold like he had wandered through the snow for hours.
“Mama?” he said as he stepped into the living room. At least there was a carpet on the floor so it felt immediately warmer around his feet.
His mother turned to him. Her eyes were sad and she had cried. “Kazu, did you listen to us?”
Nino nodded. He nibbled on his lower lip to suppress his upcoming tears. He didn’t want to go away from home. “Do I need to go to the hospital?”
His mother knelt in front of him. She stroked her son’s arms lovingly. “Everything will be alright. I promise.”
~~~
Weeks had passed and Nino was still in the hospital. They had made test over test, but no one could say what was wrong with him.
“Do you feel this?” The doctor stuck a small needle into Nino’s arm.
Nino looked at his arm. “Yes,” he said.
“Does it hurt?” The doctor wanted to know.
“No.” Nino looked up at the doctor. “It just tickles a little bit.”
The doctor sighed. “What’s wrong with me?” Nino asked.
The doctor sat next to Nino’s bed. “We are still searching for a possible reason, Kazunari-kun.” He looked intensely at Nino. “Kazunari-kun, you know why you fainted, right?”
Nino nodded. He could feel his tears running down his cheeks. Where was his mother? Why wasn’t she with him when he needed someone right this moment.
“Why did you do that?” The doctor pushed further.
“I don’t understand what he wants from you?” Nino winced. Nino looked at the window sill. A boy in his age sat there, looking at him.
“He’s a doctor,” Nino replied.
“What did you say?” The doctor asked.
“That boy … “ Nino wanted to point at him, but he was gone. “It’s not that important,” Nino finally said.
“So, Kazunari-kun, why did you do that?” The doctor asked again.
“Don’t know,” Nino whispered. He really didn’t know. He had been at school on the rooftop together with some schoolmates. Ohno - probably Nino’s only friend - stumbled and ended with a bloody knee. He had started crying because of pain. Nino started wondering why he had never cried because of a bloody knee or any other wound.
Then he got the idea to test it out himself. He had stolen a knife from the school’s canteen and had hid behind the tool shed.
He just wanted to make a small cut to feel the pain, but when there was no feeling he cut deeper till he could feel the blood running down his arm. There was no pain, no urge to cry out.
The trail of blood running down his arm looked beautiful. Everything started spinning around. At least now he had the feeling to cry out loud.
His classmates had found him. They had called the ambulance. It had been the first time he was hospitalized, but back then everyone thought it had been an accident. But it wasn't, and it wasn't the last time he did something like this so he had landed here. Even though he was only 8 years old, he already knew this wasn’t a normal hospital.
“Can you tell me, why you did this?” The doctor pulled Nino out of his thoughts.
Nino told him about Ohno and that he had wondered why he didn’t feel like Ohno when he was hurt.
“And that’s why you hurt yourself?” The doctor said.
Nino nodded. “How long do I need to stay here?” Nino asked. “I want to go back to school soon.” He had looked around the last days and there were only adults around him and not even a single person was his age - just the boy from before whom he had never seen before.
The doctor sighed. “You know Kazunari-kun, we still need to make check-ups and we need to find the reason for what’s happening to you. We can’t let you go like this.”
“But there is no one here my age - except this one boy,” Nino whined. “And my mom and my brother can only visit me on weekends... I want to go home.” Tears dropped down Nino’s cheeks.
The doctor stroked Nino’s head. “I know there’s no one your age, but I promise to send you a nurse to take care of you.”
“What about that boy?” Nino wanted to know.
“I don’t know who you mean. There is no other boy around here.”
Nino tilted his head. Who the hell had he seen before? “Maybe I'm wrong,” he just said.
~~~
It was still dark outside when Nino woke up. He almost yelled out when he saw the shadow on his window sill.
“Who are you?” Nino tried to stay calm.
The boy jumped down and sat next to Nino’s bed. “Aiba Masaki, nice to meet you.”
Nino looked at the boy closely. His smile was bright and his eyes had something warm and familiar.
“What are you doing here at this time?” Nino asked.
“I'm watching over you,” Aiba replied.
“You … what?”
Now Aiba laughed. “I am here to take care of you.”
Nino pulled his eyebrows up. “You are not older than me, so how will you take care of me?”
“I heard you were alone here, so I was sent here to stay with you.” Aiba smiled.
This was strange. “Who sent you?”
Aiba waved his hand. “That doesn’t matter. I'm your support.”
~~~
Present time
Ever since that time, Aiba had never left Nino’s side - except for a small period in the past. But even when Nino got healthier, Aiba was at his side.
~~~
18 years ago
“Again?” Nino sighed. He was 15 years old and by now he was already used to staying in hospital. Sometimes he was there for check-ups, sometimes he needed to stay in the special clinic when his condition got weak as he tended to try painful things on his own body.
His mother looked at him sadly. “They want to make some other check-ups.”
“And until I am in the hospital, you lock me at home?” Nino said angrily. He was already used to getting locked-in by his mother. She was oversensitive when it came to Nino going out - okay, Nino was really careless sometimes, but even then he didn’t want to be home all time.
“I told you that you weren't allowed to ride the mountain bike downhill. You wanted to hurt yourself again, right?” His mother yelled.
“I agree with her, you … you … stupid Nino!” Aiba blurted out next to him.
“Nothing bad happened, so keep cool,” Nino just replied.
His mother got angry; Nino could see that in her dark glance. “Is this how you talk to me?”
“Yes, is this how you talk to your mother?” Aiba drew himself up to his full height, hands on hips.
Nino rolled his eyes. “Oh gosh, you want to take the last thing I call living from me, right? Shall I stay at home, packed in pillows so that nothing bad can happen to me?” Nino felt the anger rising in him. In this moment he didn’t care how he talked to his mother.
“Exactly, that’s my plan.” Aiba nodded, earning a dark glance from Nino.
“Leave me alone, the both of you.”
“The both of you?” his mother said. “Don’t tell me you're pretending to see this fairy again?” His mother sounded worried.
“I just wanted to fool you.” Nino shrugged. He slammed the door to his room and sat on his window sill.
He could hear his mother leaving the apartment. She was probably on her way to work. He knew the discussion wasn't finished yet, but at least for some time Nino would have some peace and quiet - at least that’s what he thought.
“What were you thinking when you decided to drive down that hill, surrounded by trees and lakes and stones?” Aiba came to his room. The worst thing was that he didn’t need an open door to come in. So even locking his door wasn’t an option.
Nino couldn’t remember how often they had discussed if Aiba was a fairy or a ghost. Were fairies able to walk through doors? He didn’t know, but Aiba saw himself as a fairy - maybe because of the tiny wings he had. They were too small to let him fly, but he was so damn proud of them that Nino didn’t dare to laugh about them - at least not anymore.
Aiba had been at his side from the very first time he had been hospitalized for a long period of time. And until today, he hadn't thought about leaving him anytime soon. At least that’s what he thought. And even though Nino pretended that he was annoyed because of Aiba’s presence, he pretty much enjoyed having a friend. He was missing a bunch of school time and he already didn’t have many friends there - this was also one reason for his daring road downhill - he wanted to find friends. In the end, Nino didn’t care about dying - not anymore. Not after he had spent so much time in a hospital.
Nino sighed. He looked down to his bruises on his leg. He pressed his finger onto the bluest part of it - nothing. It was like a feather touching him. “Am I a pervert?”
“What?” Aiba walked up to him and sat towards him on the window sill. “Why do you think this way?”
“Because I want to know how pain feels.” Nino leaned his head against the cold window. “You know, I see all the boys and girls at sport class. How they yell out when they get fouled in a soccer match or how, last time Jun ran against the doorframe and his left toe got blue. He screamed and yelled out; I want to know how this feels like.”
Aiba touched Nino’s knee softly. It felt weird, because the touch was lighter than one from a human being. Nino knew that it asked Aiba a lot of strength to make the touch possible. “You aren’t a pervert, Nino-chan, at least not in this case.” Aiba smirked. He always wanted to lighten up Nino’s mood, and most of the time it worked.
“You are stupid.” Nino laughed while tears ran down his cheeks.
“Hey, I am not the one with porno magazines under my bed.” Aiba crossed his arms.
“You stalked me?” Nino asked.
“Actually …” Aiba blushed. “I stumbled over them.”
Nino pulled his left eyebrow up. “How can you ‘stumble’ over them if they are under my bed?”
“You don’t need to suffer because of your illness,” Aiba said to change the topic.
“No, no.” Nino raised his hands. “I want to know why you know about my magazines.” Nino sounded more amused than annoyed, because he could see how embarrassed Aiba was.
Aiba nibbled on his lower lip. His cheeks were deeply red and he rubbed his hands on his jeans nervously. Nino burst out in laughter. “You’re way too funny when you’re like that,” Nino wiped away the tears of joy on his cheeks.
“Stupid human,” Aiba grumbled. “But at least I was able to make you laugh again.”
Nino hiccupped because laughter and tears running down his cheeks combined. Aiba looked at Nino like he was about to lose his mind.
Aiba moved his wings like he always did when he started getting nervous. “Nino-chan, how about we watch a movie together, or play Mario Kart?” Aiba tried to sound calm and soothing, but he totally failed.
“Why can’t I be a normal teenager like my brother for example?” Nino burst out.
“Oh, because he’s on a boat trip with a friend right now?” Aiba asked.
Nino felt his heart beat quicken. “He’s one year older, but he’s allowed to do everything he wants to... just because he’s not like me. He’s normal. And I am not even allowed to go out with my classmates to eat an ice cream, because I could get hurt without being aware of it. And yes, I don’t call them friends, because they aren’t my friends - I have no friends on this stupid, fucking world,” Nino yelled out. All his frustration came out at this moment and he hated himself and the rest of the world.
“But you have me.” Aiba pointed at himself, a smile curling on his lips.
“You are just here because there is no human friend there for me after all. You are not real, you’re just a trick of my imagination. So I won’t call you a friend,” Nino explained.
For a moment he could see something breaking in Aiba’s eyes. Did he really hurt him? Was it possible to hurt a fairy? But in the end Aiba wasn’t real, was he?”
“Oh, I understand.” Aiba jumped down from the window sill. He started to fade. It made Nino slightly panic.
“Where are you going?”
Aiba looked back at him. “I need some sleep now.”
“I am sorry Masaki, I didn’t want to hurt you, it’s just …” Nino started, but Aiba just shook his head.
“It’s okay, see you later.” With that Aiba disappeared.
“Wait,” Nino said, but Aiba was already gone. “Fuck,” Nino cursed. “Now I probably drove away the only friend I have... real or not.”
“Kazu?” He heard a voice calling.
“Yes,” Nino yelled back annoyed.
He could see a head appearing next to the doorframe. “I am back.” Jun, his brother, smiled at him.
“Fine.” Nino turned to rummage in his bag. He wanted to look like he was busy. “I am going out now.”
Jun looked at him. “But I thought you were grounded after that mountain bike ride?”
“I’m not fragile, Jun. I’m going out now. I don’t care about mother’s words.” Nino wanted to pass Jun, but the other held him back.
“I can’t let you go,” Jun said.
Nino pulled his arm free. “I am not a child anymore.”
“But you are sick.” Jun looked at him fiercely.
“Yes, for my entire life I’ll be sick, Jun. But you know what really makes me sick?” Nino breathed out. “To stay at home in a golden cage, while everyone else is living. I hate that you and mom want to make me stay at home all time.”
“But …”
“No, Jun. No ‘but’. Every single one of my classmates is going out with their friends, and you know what? I don’t even have a friend. Well, except for one special friend,” Nino explained. “And I don’t want this anymore. I am not a prisoner.” Nino felt incredibly good and free after he had said that.
Jun let Nino’s arm go. “Be careful. And be back home before mom comes back.”
Nino grabbed his shoes and opened the door. “You know I love you, right brother?”
Nino walked down the stony road through the woods to get to the cliff where his classmates always met. He’d never admit it, but he was already missing his fairy’s stupid comments. But Aiba didn’t show up, and by now Nino didn’t know that it would be another 2 years till he saw Aiba again.
~~~
17 years ago
“Can you remember the day you came to this cliff?” Sho said. He let his hand roam over Nino’s chest. They met at Sho’s place, because Nino’s mother would probably freak out to know that her son had a friend, and Nino totally didn’t want to explain anything to his mom.
Nino nodded. He had gone to that cliff where he had met a few classmates. He and Sho had talked a lot on that afternoon, and soon they started meeting regularly. Nino met him secretly, because he didn’t want to bother his mother. But he also didn’t tell Sho about his illness. Sho and Nino hadn’t been in the same school, so he didn’t know that Nino had stayed at home most of time.
Nino was happy for the first time in his life, but there was something missing. A small part of him was empty and sad. He shook his head.
“What are you thinking about?” Sho kissed Nino’s forehead.
“I have a friend I haven’t seen in ages, and somehow I want to know how he is doing,” Nino replied.
~~~
16 years ago
Nino cried for the entire day. He had coiled up on his bed, pillows and blankets around him. It was raining outside and heavy drops knocked against the window.
Nino heard the door open. He didn’t want to see someone right now. “Say one word and I am going to kill this guy,” Jun said. Nino turned to face his brother. He was still sobbing.
“It’s okay. Actually it was me who broke up,” Nino explained.
“Why?” Jun sat at the edge of the bed.
Nino rubbed his face. “I am going to a hospital in Tokyo soon and I need to stay there for at least three months. You know, they want to make some new tests and use some new meds on me,” Nino said. “And I don’t want to force Sho to come and visit me all time. It’s a long drive after all. And he has some good friends here to spend time with.” Nino didn’t know if Jun believed him, but he probably didn’t. Yet Jun didn’t say anything.
“I'll be in my room if you need me.” Jun touched Nino’s leg softly before he stood up to leave the room.
Nino nodded and turned to face his wall again. His mind was blank.
“You are a bad liar.” Nino shrieked when he heard a voice behind him. He turned and looked at Aiba sitting on the floor, hands around his legs.
“Aiba-chan,” Nino yelled out and slipped out of his bed to sit next to Aiba. “Where the hell have you been? Two years! I've missed you so much, and I am so sorry for what I said. I wanted to find you, but I had no idea how to find a fairy, and you never reacted when I called for you.”
“I was really upset and sad back then,” Aiba started. “But I wanted to return to you. But then I saw you with Sho, and I knew I had become useless for you till now.”
“How can you say something like that?” Nino asked.
Aiba smiled at him. He stretched his legs and leaned back against the closet. “I am here because you feel lonely, Nino. I was sent because you had no friends back then when you were 8 years old. You were alone at the hospital and that’s why I came to you. As I said, I wanted to return to you, but then I saw you with Sho and my mission was completed - You weren’t lonely anymore.”
“And now you are back because Sho left me?” Nino wondered.
“Yes, somehow … maybe … yes, something like that,” Aiba said.
“Why are you so nervous? What’s the real reason?” Nino wanted to know.
Aiba shifted nervously. “You see … actually … we aren’t allowed to go back to people who already have a ‘mission completed’ stamp, but I asked some friends to help me get your case reopened.”
“Sounds like your office is a civil service office,” Nino grumbled.
Aiba chuckled. “Yeah, it is probably like that.”
“And now you’ll stay with me?” Nino wanted to know.
“Till you aren’t alone anymore,” Aiba answered. “You lied Nino-chan.” Aiba looked at him. “Why did you tell your brother that you left Sho?”
Nino looked at the ground. He got embarrassed. “I don’t want to be pampered and Jun is a pro in playing the mom-with-self-made-cookies-hot-milk-a-so
up-and-super-sappy-romantic-movies.”
Aiba blinked. “And we find that … ?”
“Horrible!” Nino said.
“And because …?” Aiba said.
Nino sighed. “Because I’m not in the mood to explain why I lost the only friend I ever had.” He looked at Aiba. “Only human friend,” he added.
“Why did he leave you?” Aiba asked.
Something in Nino twitched and pulled painfully. He had the feeling to throw up. “I never told him about my illness, and when I learned about my stay at the hospital, I needed to tell him the truth.” Nino only told Aiba half of the real story, but that had to be enough for now.
~~~
Nino hated the smell of hospitals. His mother had talked with him during the whole drive here and Nino’s head was already spinning.
“And you need to do everything the doctors ask you to,” she said nervously.
“Mom.” Nino rolled his eyes. “I am 16 years old. I'm not a child anymore.”
Nino walked down the corridor till he reached the reception. “Ah, Ninomiya-san, we've already prepared your room. Come with me.”
Nino turned to his mother. “I can go alone now, mom. Jun is already outside, waiting for you.” Nino had a bad feeling, but he didn’t want to have his mother around now. She was way too caring, and Nino didn’t want the feeling to be pampered all the time.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” the nurse said. “He’s old enough and he wants to be an adult, so better let him,” the nurse whispered at his mom and winked at Nino.
His mother was more nervous than Nino, but she finally agreed. “I’ll go do some shopping with Jun. We’ll visit you later.”
“Sounds good,” Nino said. “And I am sorry for causing you so much trouble,” Nino added. He was sure his mother was about to cry when she turned and left the hospital. She never wanted to show her boys any kind of weakness, something Nino didn’t understand.
~~~
Nino lay in bed, the first injection dropping down in the small tube and into a needle in his left arm.
“If it weren’t you, I’d say that looks painful,” Aiba said.
Everyone else would have gotten a bunch of not so nice words from Nino, but with Aiba it was different. He was allowed to say things no one else dared to say, especially when it was about Nino’s illness.
“You’re stupid,” Nino said.
Aiba took place on the window sill. “What are they going to do with you?”
Nino looked out of the window. “I am not sure.” He turned and stood up to sit with Aiba on the sill. It reminded him of the day two years ago where everything had ended in a fight with Aiba. This time it wouldn’t end like this. Nino would never admit it, because he wasn’t a softie, but he was glad that he had come back to him. “They’ll make some tests and maybe there is a chance for a surgery.”
Aiba looked pale. “That sounds horrible.” His wings fluttered fast. He was incredibly nervous. “Why are you smiling?”
Nino tried touching Aiba’s knee and to his surprise, he was able to. “You are cute when you are nervous.” Nino chuckled. He blushed a little when he realized what he had said.
Aiba nibbled on his lower lip. “I am not cute,” he murmured. Aiba looked up. “I hope the medicine works out for you. So you can start a new life,” Aiba said.
Nino felt a pain in his chest. Of course he wanted to be healthy and he wanted to make friends, but he knew what it meant for his bond with Aiba. “Is there no way that you can stay with me even though I don’t feel lonely anymore?”
Aiba’s smile got sad. “No.” He sighed. “It’s the number one rule: don’t stay with clients who don’t need you anymore. There are so many people who need us, so we can’t stay forever with someone.”
“I see.” Nino nodded. Of course he understood, but he didn’t want to accept this. Maybe he should stay a loner? Nino shook his head. What was he thinking here?
Someone knocked on the door and Nino saw Jun smiling at him once the door opened. “Am I disturbing you?” Jun asked.
“No, come in,” Nino said as he jumped down from the window sill.
“How are you doing?” Jun asked.
Nino just shrugged. Sometimes it was hard for him to find a topic that would suit Jun. Maybe it was because of the way Jun looked at him. He always had the feeling that Jun pitied him, and Nino absolutely didn’t want this.
“I told mom that I wanted some ‘just brothers’ time.” Jun chuckled. “She was so overjoyed that she decided to do some extra shopping. So we have some mother-free time now.” Jun sat at the small table Nino had in his room. “And I thought maybe you'd like some motherless time.”
“He’s so major cute,” Aiba said. His wings fluttered up and down. “Sorry,” he said when Nino glanced at him.
“That’s good,” Nino answered. He looked at his brother closely. Jun was nervous, and that hardly happened. “You look nervous Jun...”
Jun smiled at him. “Well,” he started. “I need to tell you something.” Oh no, Nino had feared something like this.
“What?” Nino looked at his brother. Did he really want to hear what Jun had to tell him?
“I am going out with someone,” Jun said.
There was more; just the fact that Jun met someone wasn’t worth being that nervous. “And?” Nino asked.
Jun sighed. “It’s someone you know.”
Nino froze. “Don’t tell me it’s Sho.”
Jun tilted his head. “No, it isn’t.”
“Okay, but who?” Nino wanted to know.
“Ohno.”
Nino burst out into laughter. He didn’t know why Jun was so afraid of telling him this. Ohno had just been a classmate and never more. “That’s real cool, but I wonder how you got him to recognize you? He is always so closed off and absent-minded.”
“Yeah,” Jun nodded. “Sometimes I wonder about that myself.” He smiled. “But it happened naturally, or so.” Jun shrugged. “And you’re really okay with that?”
“Ohhhhhhh … being in love is so nice.” Aiba lay on Nino’s bed, his head resting on his hands. He grinned madly. Something in Nino jumped up and down.
Nino ignored his fairy and sat next to Jun. “I am perfectly fine with that.”
Jun breathed out; he suddenly seemed totally relaxed and happy. “I was so afraid of telling you.” Jun opened his bag and placed a box with cookies on the table. “And now let’s eat.” He smiled.
“You want me to get fat?” Nino joked.
“You’re way too thin, so don’t talk about getting fat.” Aiba lay on the bed, his legs resting on the wall.
“I’m not that thin,” Nino said.
“What?” Jun blinked at him.
Stupid Aiba. “Nothing, I just wanted to say that I’m not that thin that I am allowed to eat what I want to.”
“Yeah, of course.” Jun rolled his eyes. “Say Kazu-chan, is there someone you like at the moment?”
Nino choked on his cookie. He blushed when he looked at Aiba, who sat up when Jun had asked this question.
“Ahhh … you know …” Nino said.
Jun smiled at him. “Oh dear, there really is someone.”
Nino closed his eyes. Maybe Jun would just disappear. He didn’t want to talk about that topic, because he hadn’t said anything to anyone anytime before.
Aiba giggled. Nino opened his eyes and almost jumped when Aiba’s face was in front of him. He poked his finger on Nino’s cheek. “You’re deep red.”
“Not funny,” Nino grumbled.
“Just a little bit,” Jun said. “Who is it?” He leaned closer to Nino.
Nino crossed his arms. Not in a million years was he going to say it out loud.
“Oh my god,” Aba stepped back. “It’s that girl down the corridor, right?” Aiba chirped. He clapped his hands and jumped up and down nervously.
“You’re like you’ve always been as a child. You always sulked like that.” Jun grinned. “Just tell me the name of your crush.”
Nino shook his head. “Or at least the initials,” Jun begged.
Nino looked up at Jun. “A and M.” He felt his heart beat quicken. Why the hell did he speak that out loud? That wasn’t a good idea. He turned to Aiba who had stopped moving.
“You’re kidding,” Aiba whispered. “I need to go now, I’ll … see you later.” With that he just disappeared.
Nino wanted to jump up and hold him back, but Jun would’ve called him insane.
“I’ve no idea who it is.” Jun sighed.
“And you’ll never know.” Nino smiled sadly.
~~~
Two days had passed and Aiba hadn’t shown up. Nino was worried that he had lost his precious fairy again. He wished he hadn't said a single word two days ago.
He didn’t want to live without that stupid man anymore. Aiba had been part of his life for so long and without even realizing it, Nino’s feelings for Aiba grew bigger.
“Did you listen to me?” the doctor said.
“I’m sorry.” Nino looked up.
“We want to try a new kind of surgery tomorrow morning,” the doctor repeated.
“Okay,” Nino said. “Let’s try it.” In the end he couldn’t care less. He just wanted the doctors to leave him alone.
Thirty minutes later they had finished the discussion about the surgery and Nino was alone again.
“Aiba-chan?” he said, but nothing happened.
“There is a small risk that you won’t wake up after the surgery. And we can’t guarantee that the surgery works out,” the doctor had explained. “You’ll get a strong sleeping pill in a few hours so you’ll sleep till everything’s over.”
Damn … he wanted to see Aiba before it was too late.
“Masaki?” Nothing.
He tried it till evening, but Aiba didn’t show up.
When the doctors gave him the pill, Nino felt immediately tired.
He turned to the side and smiled when he saw Aiba sitting there, his head and hands resting on Nino’s bed. Nino raised his arm to stroke Aiba’s head. He could touch him; Nino knew he was probably already dreaming.
“I am sorry Nino-chan, but I can’t stay with you as your fairy,” Aiba whispered. “I am not allowed to love you.” He took Nino’s hand in his.
Aiba’s hand felt warm and perfect. “Tell me Nino, did you really say the truth? Do you like me?”
Nino was already dozing off, but he smiled. “Mhm, I love you.”
Aiba smiled sadly. “Then your fairy has to leave you now.”
Everything around Nino got dark.
~~~
Nino dreamed about a big meadow. He lay there together with Aiba who smiled at him brightly.
Nino turned to the side and let his hand wander over Aiba’s waist. It was incredible to feel his fairy for real. Nino leaned closer to place a soft kiss on Aiba’s lips. It was like fireworks exploded inside of Nino.
He looked at Aiba like he wanted permission to kiss him again. Nino stroked Aiba’s cheeks. He felt so warm and his face was slightly pink. Nino kissed him again. This time it was more eager and demanding. Aiba leaned into it and soon their kiss heated up, their tongues danced around each other and Nino could feel the other’s hands pulling him closer till their bodies were pressed against each other.
Nino smiled into the kiss when he felt Aiba moving against him, rubbing their crotches against each other.
Nino suddenly felt tired and everything got blurry; darkness surrounded him.
“Kazu-chan?” It was his mother’s voice. He slowly opened his eyes.
Nino blinked, the lights dazzling him. He grunted and tried moving, but all the needles and machines around him made it impossible to move.
“God, you are awake,” Jun said.
Yes, he was. But he would have preferred to stay in his dream with Aiba. He shuddered. Had Aiba been here last night to tell him that he’d leave him just because Nino admitted his feelings? Nino hated himself because of that.
“How was the surgery?” Nino asked.
The doctor next to him poured liquid in a tube. “It’s too early to say, but we hope that it worked out.”
“That’s good, I guess.” Nino smiled tiredly. Maybe he’d fall asleep now and maybe he’d get back to Aiba now.
“Kazu, there is someone who wants to see you.” Jun grinned sheepishly.
“A visitor? For me?” Nino felt awake out of the blue.
“Yeah, a certain A & M.” Jun winked.
Nino felt the heat rushing through his body. It couldn’t be.
“Hello.” Nino heard a well-known voice coming from the door.
It was definitely Aiba, but how, where, why? Nino was totally nervous.
“Masaki?” Nino croaked.
“I think we’ll wait outside,” Jun said pulling their mother along.
Aiba stepped towards Nino’s bed. He took Nino’s hand in his. It felt like the evening before. Had Aiba really been here? “How’s that possible? They can see you? What …?” Nino started, but Aiba raised his hand.
He stroked over Nino’s hand with a smile curling on his lips before he started talking. “It feels good to really feel you.”
“Masaki,” Nino said impatiently.
“Sorry.” Aiba sat on the chair without letting Nino’s hand go.
“You told me about your feelings and it was like a dream came true for me.”
“But you told me yesterday that you can’t stay with me.” Nino said. He feared that Aiba would disappear immediately or that he was still dreaming.
“I said I can’t stay with you as your fairy.” Nino looked up at him.
“What have you done?” Nino wanted to know.
“I became a human,” Aiba replied.
“Because of me?” Nino felt his stomach twitching. He had never thought of something like this.
“Yes,” Aiba laughed. “I am stupid, right?”
Nino tried to move, but he couldn’t. “Pease come a little closer,” he said.
Aiba did as he was told and leaned closer till Nino could let his finger wander over Aiba’s cheeks. They felt exactly like they did back in his dream. He placed his hand behind Aiba’s neck and pulled him down to kiss him.
It felt surreal and strange, but in a totally good way. Aiba leaned into the kiss and it felt like time had stopped around them.
~~~
Present time
Nino let his hand wander over Aiba’s back.
“Stop that,” Aiba giggled. “I’m ticklish and you know that.”
He turned to press Nino down on the bed. “You’ll pay for tickling me.”
Nino grinned at him. “Good that I hardly feel any pain.” Nino joked, earning an almost soft slap from Aiba. “Okay, that hurt a little.” Nino grinned.
The surgery wasn’t all successful, but at least he felt a little pain by now.
And he had gotten his own fairy; well he still called him fairy, even though he wasn’t one anymore. The only thing Nino missed was Aiba’s cute, little wings.
He looked at his naked fairy. He stroked over Aiba’s upper body and belly. Okay, that was definitely better than any wings.