Behind the waves - Chapter 2
Title: Behind the waves
Pairing: Aiba Masaki/ Sakurai Sho; Matsumoto Jun/ Ohno Satoshi;
Rating: PG-13
Warning: none
Summary: Aiba has a special ability - he can see shadows surrounding people who can’t get rid of their past and what had happened to them and the people they once loved. As psychologist it’s Aiba’s duty to help them getting rid of their bad experiences (and their shadows) to start a new life.
Aiba cut the cucumber and some tomatoes. He put everything in a big bowl and mixed it with a spicy vinegar oil mixture. Aiba loved salad, especially the one from his own garden. It was something he had missed when he had lived in Tokyo.
When Satoshi had gone two hours ago Aiba had gone to bed immediately. When the shadow had been out of his house, he had felt like ten pounds had disappeared from his shoulder. His limbs had felt numb and tired and his eyes got heavy. He had fallen asleep immediately.
Aiba looked out of the window. His cat lay there, coiled up in the sun. She enjoyed the lazy day in the warmth. Sometimes she strayed around for days, but Aiba didn’t care. He let her do like she wanted to. He didn’t want to jail his pet. In the end she could go wherever she wanted to, she wasn’t cursed, like Aiba was. Sometimes she got something to eat from the neighbours far away, but she always came back to him. She loved human contact, and Aiba was glad that at least one of his family - and yes, he called Akira, the cat, as his family - was able to have a social life.
The cat seemed to recognize Aiba looking at her, because she stretched and looked up at him. Smoothly she stood up and jumped on the window sill. “Akira-chan, are you hungry?” Aiba stoked her soft fur. She purred and patted with her head against Aiba’s hand to get more attention from Aiba.
“Here.” Aiba placed a small cup with some tuna on the sill. Akira smelled at it before she started eating it slowly. She purred while she licked over the small pieces of fish and hungrily swallowed them.
Aiba turned his attention back to his own food. He thought about the barbeque and he was still afraid that it had been a bad idea to agree going there. Last time he had joined a party he had fainted. There had been several guests with shadows and they had taken all of Aiba’s strength, till he hadn’t been able to keep a clear mind. And Aiba was afraid to be hard-pressed to explain things further. He had never told anyone - except one person - about his ability - or his curse how he called it.
“Do you think I need a social life?” Aiba looked at Akira.
The cat licked over her snout. She had her eyes almost closed and purred. She seemed to be content and full after her lunch. “You are right, I need to feel comfortable, and I never do when I am in a group of people.” Aiba sighed. He’d stay a loner till the end of his days. Just the animals gave him the feeling of being loved. “Maybe I’ll go to the pet shop. What do you think? Maybe I get you a doggy-brother.”
Akira jumped down from the sill into the kitchen and brushed around Aiba’s legs. “I take this as a yes, Akira.” Aiba smiled.
~~~
Aiba placed a plate with cookies and a cup of strawberries on the table. He always did this when he had a new patient. It should make them feel comfortable at his place. Aiba had learned that they started talking more freely when they felt good and when they had some sweets or fruits to eat. It was stressful to talk about secrets with a stranger and Aiba wanted them to feel good.
Aiba opened the door when he heard someone knocking. He didn’t know what he had expected from this new patient, but when he looked at him, his heart stopped beating for a second. Aiba had never seen such mesmerizing eyes before.
“Hello, I am Sakurai Sho. We phoned two days ago.”
“Oh yes, sure, come in,” Aiba said. He smiled at the stranger, and hoped that the other hadn’t recognized his short black out. Aiba guided Sho to his living room and offered him the place at his dining table.
“Do you want some tea or coffee?”
Sho sat at the table. Aiba tried to ignore the small shadow which hid behind Sho’s legs. It looked at Aiba from time to time, but mostly it seemed to be afraid. Aiba could feel the deep sorrow and the pain coming from the shadow. And it was afraid. Aiba had a guess that this wasn’t an adult shadow, and this made everything much more difficult for him and of course for Sho.
The shadow was strong, and it would take a lot of strength from Aiba. He knew he’d be exhausted afterwards, and he was afraid about the truth about this shadow.
“A cup of tea would be nice,” Sho said. He rubbed his hands on his jeans, so he definitely was nervous about this.
Aiba placed the cups on the table and sat down. “Tell me about you, Sho-san.” Aiba looked at the other closely. He wanted to read his body language, but there was hardly anything he could see in there. Sho seemed to hide behind a wall, he was perfectly aware of hiding his feelings somewhere. Aiba loved new challenges, and that’d be a new one.
“I live in town my whole life long. I am Satoshi’s friend since childhood. He told me about your job, and at some point he forced me to call you,” Sho said.
“You aren’t here because you want to, but because someone forced you?” Aiba asked. He had already thought about something like this. Even though he didn’t know Sho, he could already tell the other wasn’t the one asking for help easily. And Aiba knew it would become almost impossible to help Sho if he wasn’t willing to change something in his life on his own and not because someone told him to do so.
“No, it’s not like this.” Sho shook his head. “I am just … I don’t know … a little control freak … I love to know with whom I am talking, especially when it’s about private things. And no matter where I searched for your name, I couldn’t find anything about you. Are you a real doctor, or just a fraud?”
Aiba smiled at him. “I am a doctor, but you won’t find anything about me in the internet or somewhere else.”
Sho took a sip of his tea and licked over his lips afterwards. “Why?”
“Because I avoid public and I don’t write any professional articles. You can say I live rather in seclusion. It’s the path I chose,” Aiba explained.
Sho leaned a little forward. “And how can I be sure that you don’t lie to me and you just take my money without the knowledge of being a psychologist?”
Aiba crossed his arms. He hated such questions and he hated the arrogance the other had towards him. It was Sho who had called him after all. He had heard this question often during the years, and he absolutely didn’t care about being friendly anymore. At the beginning of his career he often felt nervous or insecure about what to answer, but now the feeling of explaining everything to his patients had gone. “You know Sho-san, you can go if you don’t want to be here. I didn’t force you to come here. It was you calling me, and not opposite.”
Sho stared at him and for a moment they kept silent. It was like Sho was trying to read Aiba’s mind with staring at him. “Where did you study?”
“In Tokyo,” Aiba answered.
Sho nodded. “Why did you come here to this almost deserted island out in nowhere?”
“Why do you live here?” Aiba returned the question.
Sho’s eyes were sparkling with mistrust. But there was also something else in his eyes. “He mistrusts everyone. He doesn’t like people, except the few friends he has. He was forced to come back here.” The tiny shadow peeked over the table directly at Aiba. Sometimes Aiba wished that he would be able to see the shadow’s faces. Because of the voice it had to be a girl - a young girl, but Aiba could only guess, because everything he was able to see was black and grey parts.
“I was born here,” Sho replied.
“And you always stayed here,” Aiba wanted to know.
“No, he fled here,” the shadow hooked in.
“No, I studied economics in Tokyo, but because of my family I decided to come back.” Sho took a cookie from the plate and stared at it for a moment before he took a bite. “But I asked you first, Aiba-san.”
Aiba didn’t like the way this talk was leading to, but he decided to go with it. “I was born in Tokyo, but I didn’t want to live in such a big town anymore. I enjoy my own house with the small garden and the sea around me.” Aiba looked outside. He saw some waves curling at the beach and the sun hid behind a big white, puffy cloud.
“It’s strange that people flee to a place like this when they can be at a place like Tokyo,” Sho said.
Aiba could understand Sho’s thought. When there wouldn’t have been those shadows, Aiba would have probably stayed there, but he got used to this life, and now he didn’t want to change anything anymore. “I always loved nature and I don’t like crowded places much, so I am pretty happy here.” Aiba looked directly at Sho. “But why do you live here? You seem so unhappy here.”
Sho looked down at his cup. First he didn’t say anything and just nibbled on his lower lip nervously. “I … had some troubles.”
“What kind of troubles?” Aiba wanted to know.
Sho looked up. His eyes were full of sorrow and pain. Aiba wasn’t sure if he would be able to break through Sho’s walls. There was a massive wall surrounding him, and he wasn’t used to open up to someone. Aiba knew he needed to be careful, because otherwise he’d never make Sho talk about his life. “Various.” Sho shrugged.
Aiba pushed the strawberries closer to Sho. “Strawberry?”
“Do you want to buy me?” Sho had a small smile curling around his lips.
“No, I just want to make you feel comfortable,” Aiba replied.
“As if I would … at a so called psychologist,” Sho answered sadly.
Aiba took a sip of his tea, like he always did when he was about to lose his nerves. It was senseless to yell at Sho and to shake him was probably also not the best way to get through him. Sho had an attitude and a kind of gesture Aiba didn’t like.
“Sho-san, if you don’t want any help from me, then please leave my place. I have better things to do than listening to your assaults that I am a fraud. You block every question and you made clear that you don’t want to talk with me about whatever burdens you.” Aiba was calm. He tried his best to supress the tremble in his voice.
Sho’s hand wandered over the cup. He took one strawberry without looking at Aiba. He didn’t say something, but it made Aiba smile. It was the reaction he had awaited. There was a small crack in the wall, even though it wasn’t even big enough to let some dust through it, but it was there. “Good. So tell me about your job here.”
Sho grinned. “You’d never guess.”
Aiba tilted his head. “You said you studied economics, so I guess you work in a bank?”
“I worked there back in Tokyo, yes. But I had to change my job when I came back here. “I work in a pet shop now.”
Aiba blinked. He really didn’t think about a job like this. Sho seemed so strict, more like a lawyer or an insurance seller. “Wow, I really wouldn’t have guessed that.”
“It’s not easy to find a job here, and in the end banker aren’t really needed here,” Sho explained.
Aiba nodded. “I understand, but are you happy here, Sho-san?”
Sho took his time to reply. “I am a little bit torn. I’d never thought that I’d like it to be here, but I start enjoying my time. I never wanted to work here, but now I get used to it.”
“What was your dream?” Aiba asked.
Sho bit in one cookie. Aiba could see that he fought about to answer or to keep quiet. “I always wanted to work in the real estate industry;” Sho finally explained. “But I am not sad about being here to work in the pet shop.”
“Why do you say that every time?” Aiba asked.
“What?” Sho stared at him, his cheeks flushed a little like he felt caught.
“Every sentence of yours ends with ‘I am not sad to be here’. Why do you emphasise this every time?”
Sho pulled on his shirt nervously. He blushed. “I don’t know.” His voice was almost silent. “I didn’t realize that I say that.”
“Why did you come back?” Aiba asked. Aiba hoped that the other wouldn’t push him away because of this question, he already guessed that the shadow had been a big part of this decision.
“My family is here, and I wanted to support my father with his business.” Sho lied. Even a non-psychologist would have seen this.
And the shadow reinforced Aiba in his feeling. “Liar!” It shouted. “You came back because you fled from Tokyo. Because of me, you idiot!”
Children were the most honest shadows. Their words were sometimes harsh, and when they would have been alive, they would have got scolded for it, but Aiba liked that. They told him the truth and spoke out the feelings most of the adult buried deep inside them. “Your father owns the pet shop?”
“Yes, it is his business. I help him with the book keeping,” Sho said.
“If everything is okay, why are you here, Sho-san? What do you want from me?” Aiba asked.
Sho leaned back against the chair. He had his hands now crossed. There was a dark glance in his eyes. Aiba didn’t like that. The small moment he had broken through him was gone. There was the cold and arrogant Sho-san. “My mother wants me to come here. And I promised to go. I don’t have any problems Aiba-san. So, it would be nice if we can meet once a week, talk with each other about the weather or what else, I pay you and go home again. I am happy, my mom is happy, and you get your money for doing nothing. It’s really easy.”
Actually Aiba refused such suggestions and he would have sent him away without thinking about the offer, but Sho caught his attention and his motivation. He wanted to get to the real Sho, which was somewhere behind this man with the iron wall. Of course it was because of the shadow, but also because of this arrogance which wasn’t natural, it was a kind of self-defence, and Aiba wanted to know the whole story behind this. Sho could hide behind everything with his words, but he couldn’t change the sparkle in his eyes - this sad and traumatized look. “It’s okay, but next time you bring food along,” Aiba said.
Sho smiled at him. “Perfect.”
A/N: Wow, thanks for all the wonderful comments on the first chapter <3 I was really surprised and totally happy.
So what do you think about that second one? What's the story of Sho's shadow?
This chapter was just Sakuraiba interaction, but Juntoshi will come, I promise this to you. <3
Pairing: Aiba Masaki/ Sakurai Sho; Matsumoto Jun/ Ohno Satoshi;
Rating: PG-13
Warning: none
Summary: Aiba has a special ability - he can see shadows surrounding people who can’t get rid of their past and what had happened to them and the people they once loved. As psychologist it’s Aiba’s duty to help them getting rid of their bad experiences (and their shadows) to start a new life.
Aiba cut the cucumber and some tomatoes. He put everything in a big bowl and mixed it with a spicy vinegar oil mixture. Aiba loved salad, especially the one from his own garden. It was something he had missed when he had lived in Tokyo.
When Satoshi had gone two hours ago Aiba had gone to bed immediately. When the shadow had been out of his house, he had felt like ten pounds had disappeared from his shoulder. His limbs had felt numb and tired and his eyes got heavy. He had fallen asleep immediately.
Aiba looked out of the window. His cat lay there, coiled up in the sun. She enjoyed the lazy day in the warmth. Sometimes she strayed around for days, but Aiba didn’t care. He let her do like she wanted to. He didn’t want to jail his pet. In the end she could go wherever she wanted to, she wasn’t cursed, like Aiba was. Sometimes she got something to eat from the neighbours far away, but she always came back to him. She loved human contact, and Aiba was glad that at least one of his family - and yes, he called Akira, the cat, as his family - was able to have a social life.
The cat seemed to recognize Aiba looking at her, because she stretched and looked up at him. Smoothly she stood up and jumped on the window sill. “Akira-chan, are you hungry?” Aiba stoked her soft fur. She purred and patted with her head against Aiba’s hand to get more attention from Aiba.
“Here.” Aiba placed a small cup with some tuna on the sill. Akira smelled at it before she started eating it slowly. She purred while she licked over the small pieces of fish and hungrily swallowed them.
Aiba turned his attention back to his own food. He thought about the barbeque and he was still afraid that it had been a bad idea to agree going there. Last time he had joined a party he had fainted. There had been several guests with shadows and they had taken all of Aiba’s strength, till he hadn’t been able to keep a clear mind. And Aiba was afraid to be hard-pressed to explain things further. He had never told anyone - except one person - about his ability - or his curse how he called it.
“Do you think I need a social life?” Aiba looked at Akira.
The cat licked over her snout. She had her eyes almost closed and purred. She seemed to be content and full after her lunch. “You are right, I need to feel comfortable, and I never do when I am in a group of people.” Aiba sighed. He’d stay a loner till the end of his days. Just the animals gave him the feeling of being loved. “Maybe I’ll go to the pet shop. What do you think? Maybe I get you a doggy-brother.”
Akira jumped down from the sill into the kitchen and brushed around Aiba’s legs. “I take this as a yes, Akira.” Aiba smiled.
~~~
Aiba placed a plate with cookies and a cup of strawberries on the table. He always did this when he had a new patient. It should make them feel comfortable at his place. Aiba had learned that they started talking more freely when they felt good and when they had some sweets or fruits to eat. It was stressful to talk about secrets with a stranger and Aiba wanted them to feel good.
Aiba opened the door when he heard someone knocking. He didn’t know what he had expected from this new patient, but when he looked at him, his heart stopped beating for a second. Aiba had never seen such mesmerizing eyes before.
“Hello, I am Sakurai Sho. We phoned two days ago.”
“Oh yes, sure, come in,” Aiba said. He smiled at the stranger, and hoped that the other hadn’t recognized his short black out. Aiba guided Sho to his living room and offered him the place at his dining table.
“Do you want some tea or coffee?”
Sho sat at the table. Aiba tried to ignore the small shadow which hid behind Sho’s legs. It looked at Aiba from time to time, but mostly it seemed to be afraid. Aiba could feel the deep sorrow and the pain coming from the shadow. And it was afraid. Aiba had a guess that this wasn’t an adult shadow, and this made everything much more difficult for him and of course for Sho.
The shadow was strong, and it would take a lot of strength from Aiba. He knew he’d be exhausted afterwards, and he was afraid about the truth about this shadow.
“A cup of tea would be nice,” Sho said. He rubbed his hands on his jeans, so he definitely was nervous about this.
Aiba placed the cups on the table and sat down. “Tell me about you, Sho-san.” Aiba looked at the other closely. He wanted to read his body language, but there was hardly anything he could see in there. Sho seemed to hide behind a wall, he was perfectly aware of hiding his feelings somewhere. Aiba loved new challenges, and that’d be a new one.
“I live in town my whole life long. I am Satoshi’s friend since childhood. He told me about your job, and at some point he forced me to call you,” Sho said.
“You aren’t here because you want to, but because someone forced you?” Aiba asked. He had already thought about something like this. Even though he didn’t know Sho, he could already tell the other wasn’t the one asking for help easily. And Aiba knew it would become almost impossible to help Sho if he wasn’t willing to change something in his life on his own and not because someone told him to do so.
“No, it’s not like this.” Sho shook his head. “I am just … I don’t know … a little control freak … I love to know with whom I am talking, especially when it’s about private things. And no matter where I searched for your name, I couldn’t find anything about you. Are you a real doctor, or just a fraud?”
Aiba smiled at him. “I am a doctor, but you won’t find anything about me in the internet or somewhere else.”
Sho took a sip of his tea and licked over his lips afterwards. “Why?”
“Because I avoid public and I don’t write any professional articles. You can say I live rather in seclusion. It’s the path I chose,” Aiba explained.
Sho leaned a little forward. “And how can I be sure that you don’t lie to me and you just take my money without the knowledge of being a psychologist?”
Aiba crossed his arms. He hated such questions and he hated the arrogance the other had towards him. It was Sho who had called him after all. He had heard this question often during the years, and he absolutely didn’t care about being friendly anymore. At the beginning of his career he often felt nervous or insecure about what to answer, but now the feeling of explaining everything to his patients had gone. “You know Sho-san, you can go if you don’t want to be here. I didn’t force you to come here. It was you calling me, and not opposite.”
Sho stared at him and for a moment they kept silent. It was like Sho was trying to read Aiba’s mind with staring at him. “Where did you study?”
“In Tokyo,” Aiba answered.
Sho nodded. “Why did you come here to this almost deserted island out in nowhere?”
“Why do you live here?” Aiba returned the question.
Sho’s eyes were sparkling with mistrust. But there was also something else in his eyes. “He mistrusts everyone. He doesn’t like people, except the few friends he has. He was forced to come back here.” The tiny shadow peeked over the table directly at Aiba. Sometimes Aiba wished that he would be able to see the shadow’s faces. Because of the voice it had to be a girl - a young girl, but Aiba could only guess, because everything he was able to see was black and grey parts.
“I was born here,” Sho replied.
“And you always stayed here,” Aiba wanted to know.
“No, he fled here,” the shadow hooked in.
“No, I studied economics in Tokyo, but because of my family I decided to come back.” Sho took a cookie from the plate and stared at it for a moment before he took a bite. “But I asked you first, Aiba-san.”
Aiba didn’t like the way this talk was leading to, but he decided to go with it. “I was born in Tokyo, but I didn’t want to live in such a big town anymore. I enjoy my own house with the small garden and the sea around me.” Aiba looked outside. He saw some waves curling at the beach and the sun hid behind a big white, puffy cloud.
“It’s strange that people flee to a place like this when they can be at a place like Tokyo,” Sho said.
Aiba could understand Sho’s thought. When there wouldn’t have been those shadows, Aiba would have probably stayed there, but he got used to this life, and now he didn’t want to change anything anymore. “I always loved nature and I don’t like crowded places much, so I am pretty happy here.” Aiba looked directly at Sho. “But why do you live here? You seem so unhappy here.”
Sho looked down at his cup. First he didn’t say anything and just nibbled on his lower lip nervously. “I … had some troubles.”
“What kind of troubles?” Aiba wanted to know.
Sho looked up. His eyes were full of sorrow and pain. Aiba wasn’t sure if he would be able to break through Sho’s walls. There was a massive wall surrounding him, and he wasn’t used to open up to someone. Aiba knew he needed to be careful, because otherwise he’d never make Sho talk about his life. “Various.” Sho shrugged.
Aiba pushed the strawberries closer to Sho. “Strawberry?”
“Do you want to buy me?” Sho had a small smile curling around his lips.
“No, I just want to make you feel comfortable,” Aiba replied.
“As if I would … at a so called psychologist,” Sho answered sadly.
Aiba took a sip of his tea, like he always did when he was about to lose his nerves. It was senseless to yell at Sho and to shake him was probably also not the best way to get through him. Sho had an attitude and a kind of gesture Aiba didn’t like.
“Sho-san, if you don’t want any help from me, then please leave my place. I have better things to do than listening to your assaults that I am a fraud. You block every question and you made clear that you don’t want to talk with me about whatever burdens you.” Aiba was calm. He tried his best to supress the tremble in his voice.
Sho’s hand wandered over the cup. He took one strawberry without looking at Aiba. He didn’t say something, but it made Aiba smile. It was the reaction he had awaited. There was a small crack in the wall, even though it wasn’t even big enough to let some dust through it, but it was there. “Good. So tell me about your job here.”
Sho grinned. “You’d never guess.”
Aiba tilted his head. “You said you studied economics, so I guess you work in a bank?”
“I worked there back in Tokyo, yes. But I had to change my job when I came back here. “I work in a pet shop now.”
Aiba blinked. He really didn’t think about a job like this. Sho seemed so strict, more like a lawyer or an insurance seller. “Wow, I really wouldn’t have guessed that.”
“It’s not easy to find a job here, and in the end banker aren’t really needed here,” Sho explained.
Aiba nodded. “I understand, but are you happy here, Sho-san?”
Sho took his time to reply. “I am a little bit torn. I’d never thought that I’d like it to be here, but I start enjoying my time. I never wanted to work here, but now I get used to it.”
“What was your dream?” Aiba asked.
Sho bit in one cookie. Aiba could see that he fought about to answer or to keep quiet. “I always wanted to work in the real estate industry;” Sho finally explained. “But I am not sad about being here to work in the pet shop.”
“Why do you say that every time?” Aiba asked.
“What?” Sho stared at him, his cheeks flushed a little like he felt caught.
“Every sentence of yours ends with ‘I am not sad to be here’. Why do you emphasise this every time?”
Sho pulled on his shirt nervously. He blushed. “I don’t know.” His voice was almost silent. “I didn’t realize that I say that.”
“Why did you come back?” Aiba asked. Aiba hoped that the other wouldn’t push him away because of this question, he already guessed that the shadow had been a big part of this decision.
“My family is here, and I wanted to support my father with his business.” Sho lied. Even a non-psychologist would have seen this.
And the shadow reinforced Aiba in his feeling. “Liar!” It shouted. “You came back because you fled from Tokyo. Because of me, you idiot!”
Children were the most honest shadows. Their words were sometimes harsh, and when they would have been alive, they would have got scolded for it, but Aiba liked that. They told him the truth and spoke out the feelings most of the adult buried deep inside them. “Your father owns the pet shop?”
“Yes, it is his business. I help him with the book keeping,” Sho said.
“If everything is okay, why are you here, Sho-san? What do you want from me?” Aiba asked.
Sho leaned back against the chair. He had his hands now crossed. There was a dark glance in his eyes. Aiba didn’t like that. The small moment he had broken through him was gone. There was the cold and arrogant Sho-san. “My mother wants me to come here. And I promised to go. I don’t have any problems Aiba-san. So, it would be nice if we can meet once a week, talk with each other about the weather or what else, I pay you and go home again. I am happy, my mom is happy, and you get your money for doing nothing. It’s really easy.”
Actually Aiba refused such suggestions and he would have sent him away without thinking about the offer, but Sho caught his attention and his motivation. He wanted to get to the real Sho, which was somewhere behind this man with the iron wall. Of course it was because of the shadow, but also because of this arrogance which wasn’t natural, it was a kind of self-defence, and Aiba wanted to know the whole story behind this. Sho could hide behind everything with his words, but he couldn’t change the sparkle in his eyes - this sad and traumatized look. “It’s okay, but next time you bring food along,” Aiba said.
Sho smiled at him. “Perfect.”
A/N: Wow, thanks for all the wonderful comments on the first chapter <3 I was really surprised and totally happy.
So what do you think about that second one? What's the story of Sho's shadow?
This chapter was just Sakuraiba interaction, but Juntoshi will come, I promise this to you. <3