Time travel (OhBa One shot)
Title: Time travel
Pairing: Aiba Masaki/ Ohno Satoshi; Matsumoto Jun/ Ninomiya Kazunari
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Beta: ivenclaire
Summary: Time goes by fast. And there’ll come the day you remember about your past and what happened when you were young.
Notes: written for the arashi_exchange for ica_90.
July 2062 - somewhere in Tokyo
Aiba looked at the slender figure standing on his balcony. He smiled a little. He couldn’t say how many times he has looked at the same picture. It was a sunny and warm September night. The numbers on the clock in the kitchen blinked. 17:56 was written there. Aiba smiled.
“Do you remember?” Aiba asked when he stepped on the balcony. He leaned against the door frame.
“Is it four minutes before 6 o’clock?” Ohno asked. He turned round to face Aiba, who nodded at him.
Aiba scanned the other’s face properly. Of course Ohno got older with the years. He has some small wrinkles around his eyes and lips, but all in all, he didn’t look like he is 82 years. Maybe it is because his eyes are still sparkling and awake, like what they usually are every day, for the past 47 years.
“You know, maybe I’ll go fishing tomorrow.” Ohno said out of the blue. He had a smile curling around his lips.
“Don’t you think it’s better to stop that in our age?” Aiba asked. He knew he’d never stop the other from doing his beloved hobby, and in the end, he didn’t want that. But sometimes, it comes to his mind that they aren’t that young anymore.
“I’m just worried.” he added when he saw Ohno’s dark glance.
“I know, but I think that’s what keeps me alive. How about coming with me this time? We can celebrate 47 years there?” Ohno suggested. Actually, Aiba wanted to decline, but Ohno’s eyes told him that he really wanted him to come along and maybe it would be a nice way to celebrate their anniversary.
“Okay.” Aiba finally said. He sighed a little. He once liked the sea, but some years ago, it stopped. He didn’t feel well out there anymore, so he decided to stay at home.
The wind brushed Aiba’s face. He closed his eyes. The smell in the air was salty. Probably a windstorm would come up during the night. But Aiba didn’t care. He liked rain. “I love it when it’s not so hot, like what it was back then…” Aiba said absent-mindedly.
“47 years ago…”, Ohno murmured and got caught in his thoughts like Aiba.
July 2015 - rehearsal room in Tokyo
It was a hot July afternoon. “Again?” Aiba whined. Some sweat was running down his face. “It’s too hot.” he added. He felt like he spent two hours in the sauna.
“I’m trying my best here.” Nino grumbled from somewhere under the window. He has been trying fix the air con for hours now. “And why do I need to do this?” he asked.
“Because you are a gamer,” Jun smiled brightly. He handed Nino a cold coke and tilted his head a little when he saw the dark glance on the other’s face.
“And that means I am good in fixing such things? You know I just play games with the controller in my hands and a TV on the other side. That doesn’t include repairing things.” Nino sounded grumpy. Some of his hair was already stuck on his forehead.
“But your controller broke and you fixed it, right?” Ohno smiled brightly.
“If you are talking about the day I threw it against the wall and it broke, and there was no shop open to buy a new one - yes, I fixed it. I put a lot of tape around the broken part. That’s NOT,” he underlined the not, “repairing it.”
Aiba hid his grin behind his hand. He looked at the others. Everyone was smiling.
“Wait,” Nino swayed the screwdriver in his hand. “You did this to make fun of me.”
“Nooo,” Ohno protracted the word. “We believe you’d really make this.”
“You know what, you, you ….” Nino started.
“Hey, you have to admit that it was funny at some point.” Jun still had the coke in his hands. He handed it to Nino who took it with a little snort.
“Maybe,” he answered.
The others laughed and in the end, Nino couldn’t resist doing same. He tousled through his hair and had one eye closed. “I guess I need a shower now.” he said while he pulled the wet hair strands out of his face.
He stood up to go to the shower room on the other side of the corridor and he didn’t see Jun looking at him instantly.
“When are you going to tell him?” Aiba said while he sat next to him.
“Tell him what?” Jun said innocently.
“Oh come on,” Aiba rolled his eyes, “It’s not as secret as you think it is.”
Jun smiled at him. “I will do it, when you do same.”
Aiba blinked. He wasn’t expecting that. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Me neither,” Jun just said.
~~~
Aiba couldn’t get rid of Jun’s words. He turned from left to right and back. He kicked the blanket off of the bed. It was too hot for it. And he was moving so much that he got sweaty all over again. “Stupid Jun,” he mumbled. Aiba decided long ago that he would never admit any feeling to anyone. His friends often asked why he did so, but he didn’t want to talk about it. In the end, there wasn’t a big reason, but he got rejected more than once and so he decided that feelings won’t get any place in his life anymore. He had his friends, but he didn’t want to have anything more. Of course, there was someone he was interested in, but he’d drink poison before he would say a single word to this person.
He closed his eyes. Ohno’s face popped up. He shook his head. “Out there,” he said to himself. He has always liked the other more than the others in his band, but he doesn’t to destroy the friendship they shared. “But if Jun and Nino…,” Aiba said while looking into the mirror. “No,” he sighed. “No, we are friends.” he lay back in his bed.
It was a sleepless night for him, and when the clock woke him up in the morning, he had the feeling that he hadn’t slept a second during the night.
~~~
Aiba bought a muffin and a coffee before he walked to the little park in front of the agency. He sat down there and bit into his blueberry-vanilla muffin. It was his favourite, especially when he was grumpy. It lets his mood rise at least for a bit. And the coffee causes at least some moments of feeling awake.
“Bad night?” he heard someone say. Aiba turned around. Gosh…he thought. Ohno was the last one he wanted to meet right now. He wanted to forget that the other was in his mind for the whole of last night.
“Yeah, something like that.” Aiba replied. He didn’t want to sound angry or exclusive. In the end, Ohno didn’t do anything wrong and Aiba really didn’t want to explain something he couldn’t.
“The heat is almost unbearable.” Ohno started, “Maybe you should come with me to the sea. It’s colder out there.” Aiba looked at him in surprise. He didn’t want to answer to this suggestion. He totally didn’t want to spend a night alone with Ohno on the boat. His feelings would explode there.
“Ah, it wasn’t the heat. I love that weather. It was a mosquito. It surrounded me all night.” Aiba nodded to his own words.
“But don’t you have a mosquito net?” Ohno looked at him. Aiba sighed. Of course, almost everyone in Japan has a net, and so did he. Sometimes, he hated Ohno for being that attentive.
“Sure I have, but maybe there is a hole somewhere. I will check it today.” Aiba smiled. He hoped the discussion would end with this.
“Guys, we’ll be starting.” Aiba heard someone calling them. It was his chance to flee from Ohno’s questions. He was glad that Sho called them in this moment. He already saw in the other’s face that he had to say something against Aiba’s mosquito net-hole-sleepless-night theory.
“Just think about joining me,” Ohno said while they walked up to the building.
Aiba could feel the heat rising into his head till his cheeks blushed. And it wasn’t only the weather which caused that. “I will.” he only said, already knowing that he would never go there with Ohno; at least not alone.
~~~
Aiba wasn’t the only one who was in a bad mood that day. “If looks could kill I think we would all be dead now.” Sho whispered at Aiba who just nodded.
Jun wasn’t only in a bad mood, he was in a really bad mood, which meant that no one dared to talk to him.
“You should go.” Nino said after a while.
“Why me?” Aiba whined.
“You are his friend.” Sho said.
“And you aren’t?” Aiba countered.
“No, not really. You know, since…,” Sho started but Aiba interrupted him immediately. “Yeah, yeah, we all know that story and we don’t want to hear it again.” Against his actual behaviour and sunny personality, Aiba sounded really grumpy.
He walked up to Jun, his heart beating a little faster. In all the years they spent together, Aiba learned one thing: never provoke an angry Jun. And even a single ‘hello’ would provoke him. Jun wasn’t often in a bad mood, but when it happens, it’s better not to talk to him. And now, Aiba had to clear that, which made his own mood sink to the North Pole - if that would even be possible.
“Hey, Jun,” Aiba sat next to the other without looking at him directly.
“What?” Jun said angrily.
Aiba turned to face him. “What’s going on?”
Jun sighed. He rubbed over his face. “It’s just,” he started, “I don’t know.”
Aiba knitted his eyebrows. “You don’t know?”
“Yes. No. Maybe. Ah…I don’t know.” Jun stuttered.
“Man, I have never seen you like this.” Aiba had to smile a little. Of course he has often seen Jun angry, but not because he was confused about his feelings, and Aiba knew he was, because he felt exactly same.
“Don’t laugh…I don’t know why I’m acting like this myself either.” Jun sounded desperate. “And I don’t like the way I am now.”
Aiba’s smile grew bigger. “Why are you laughing?” Jun wanted to know.
“You are so …. Aiba-chan like…,” he smiled, “Really, you have my behaviour right now.”
Now Jun had to smile too, “Oh god, I am infected. I have the Aiba-illness.”
Both laughed at that. They could see the others looking at them in disbelief. They had no idea what was going on, and maybe it was better that way.
“You know, I am really getting sick of this situation. I tried to tell Nino about everything in so many ways, but he didn’t get it.” Jun tilted his head a little.
Aiba rubbed over his chin, “I don’t want to sound mean, but don’t you think that it would be better to tell him directly? Because Nino isn’t really the type who could read signs.”
Jun nodded at this. “Yes, you are right. But you know, it’s strange. I never had the problem to talk to someone I like openly, why now?”
“Maybe because it’s someone you aren’t only romantically interested, but who is also a friend of yours. And you know you can ruin a lot with that.” Aiba answered. His eyes rested on Ohno, who was busy with reading the newspaper.
Jun touched the other’s shoulder slightly. “You know, you talk wisely only when it concerns yourself. You feel same, right?”
Aiba winced at that. Of course he knew that Jun was aware of his feelings for Ohno, but it is still awkward to hear it being spoken out loud.
“We really are something.” now it was Aiba who started laughing.
“How about changing it?” Jun suggested.
Something in Aiba clenched. Telling Ohno the truth? No he couldn’t. He felt like something took his breath. He wasn’t able to breathe in. “No.” he just said. He didn’t want to get rejected again; he didn’t want to feel this embarrassing emotion again. And in the end, he couldn’t say what Ohno thought of him. Maybe that would ruin their friendship. And Aiba would never forgive himself if that’d happen.
“No? But you said some moments ago that I need to take the risk, so what about you?” Jun wanted to know.
Aiba could feel the other’s gaze resting on him. He felt nervous and he started to slip from one side to the other. “I can’t,” it was all Aiba said.
Jun was already standing, but he sat next to the other again. “You can’t?”
Aiba just shook his head. “I don’t want a relationship right now.”
Jun sighed. Aiba knew his friend and that he exactly knows why Aiba said that. He could see in Jun’s eyes that he was perfectly informed why Aiba acted like this. And how could it be different? The last time he got rejected, his first way leaded him to Jun. Aiba had to smile about it.
It was some months ago when he went out with someone. And again it happened that he got rejected. It was already 2 o’clock in the morning, but Aiba needed to talk with someone, and like so often, his first way was to Jun’s apartment. Of course, the other wouldn’t be amused to get disturbed at this time, but Aiba just walked up there.
“I am sorry,” Aiba said when the door opened.
A really tired Jun stood there, just grumbling something. “Early. No good.” Aiba only understood.
Jun stepped to the side so Aiba could slip into the apartment. Aiba knew that no matter how grumpy Jun was, he’d always let a friend in.
“What the hell happened?” Jun sat down on his couch. He rubbed over his face, like he wanted to wipe away the tiredness.
“It happened again. I got rejected.” Aiba answered. He bit his lower lip. He knew he must have sounded like a teenager, but he was already really desperate about it.
“And that’s why you call me out at this time?” Jun pulled one eyebrow up. He sighed. Aiba could see him rolling his eyes. “Gin tonic?” he asked.
Aiba nodded. He already had two glasses of wine and one beer, but something to drink sounded good. “I bet you don’t know that feeling,” he said when Jun gave him the gin tonic.
Jun looked at him angrily, “Don’t be that stupid, Masaki.”
“But…,” Aiba started, but got interrupted immediately. “No, no “but”, really Masaki. Don’t tell me something like this.”
“But it’s true,” Aiba blurred out. He knew he sounded a little stubborn, but he didn’t care.
Jun sighed. “No it’s not.” he started and raised his hand when he saw that Aiba was about to say something against it. “I don’t get who I really want.”
It was the first time Aiba heard the other say something like that. He didn’t know why he thought that Jun would always get what he wanted. But the sad glance in his eyes let Aiba know that it was different. “You like someone, right?” he asked.
They have been good friends for years now, but now, Aiba realized that it was mostly him whining about being in love. Jun always kept silent about it. Now Aiba felt bad. He felt like he was always talking about himself, but he never listened to what the other wanted to tell him. “I am sorry,” he said.
“Why are you apologizing?” Jun looked at him in utter surprise.
“I think I never listened to you.” Aiba answered.
“Again: don’t be stupid Masaki. I never talked about it, because I was never sure about my own feelings. But I think I was able to sort them.” Jun smiled a little.
“Who is it?” Aiba wanted to know.
Jun smiled at him, “Can’t you guess?”
Aiba tilted his head a little. He let the past weeks repeat in his head. Suddenly, he looked up. “Oh, don’t tell me …,” he started. “Nino-chan.” He ended.
Jun had a sad smile curling around his lips. He just nodded a little.
“Why don’t you tell him?” Aiba wanted to know.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” that was all Jun said.
For some moments they kept silent. “Say, Masaki”, Jun broke the silence. “What happened with your riida-crush?”
Aiba swallowed. He once told Jun about it (on a drunken night…) but he never thought about it again. Something in him hurt. There was a short pain filling his stomach and chest. “Nothing. I guess I am over it.” Aiba said absent-mindedly.
“Really?” Jun looked at him. “When I see the strange sparkle in your eyes I would say I get the point why you get rejected all time. Don’t you think that’s the reason?”
“I have no idea.” Aiba answered honestly. If it would have been that easy.
Maybe it was stupid to tell Jun that he didn’t want a relationship now, because Jun perfectly knew that it was different. “Hey, Jun,” Aiba called for the other.
Jun turned around. He had a little smile around his lips. “You know me, right?” Aiba said.
“Sure,” Jun just said.
~~~
“Finally home,” Aiba stretched his arm, yawning loudly.
“How did you make Jun smile in the end?” it was Ohno asking him.
Aiba turned to face the other. Ohno was smiling at him. It made Aiba’s heart jump a little, even though he tried to suppress this feeling. “I am a sunny person, you know. I can fix bad mood easily.” Aiba said. Of course he wouldn’t tell Ohno what he talked about with Jun.
“No, you aren’t always sunny.” Ohno answered. He had a strange expression that Aiba couldn’t read.
“What do you mean?” he wanted to know.
“You’ve been acting strange lately. It’s like something is bothering you.” Aiba blinked at that.
He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t know what. “I’m okay.” he finally replied.
“Okay,” Ohno nodded, “Can you just do me a favour?”
“Yes?”
“Think about going on a boat trip with me again. I think you need some fresh air and distraction.” Ohno touched Aiba’s arm before he walked out of the agency.
Aiba just stood there, watching the other walking down the street. “Stop,” he whispered to himself when he felt the little jumps in his belly again. He wouldn’t agree to that.
~~~
Three beers and one vodka-coke were far too much for Aiba. He felt dizzy when he left the bar. Aiba hardly went out for drinking, especially not alone, but this day, he felt like he needed something. “I will go. Maybe I will go. Maybe not. Probably. No. Or yes?” he talked to himself while he was walking down the street. He blinked some times when the buildings and people on street started dancing around. He shook his head. “No more alcohol.” he whispered.
Twenty minutes later, he reached the house he wanted to visit. “Hey Jun,” he said when the other grumbled something in the interphone.
“Masaki,” he made a short break, “….it’s half past 5 o’clock in the morning. What do you want?”
“Just talk to you,” Aiba answered. The words were hard to form because the dizziness has spread in his head.
“Sure, you can come in, but I’m not Jun.” the voice said.
Aiba winced. He looked around. He knew the area, of course he knew. He has been here several times, but it really wasn’t Jun’s apartment he walked up to. “Oh, oh,” he said to himself.
His heart started beating faster when he walked up to the apartment. The door was already open and a real tired looking Ohno glanced at him. “I am sorry.” Aiba stuttered. He could see that Ohno was a little upset.
Ohno sighed. “Come in.”
Aiba slipped into the anteroom where he took off his shoes. He still felt a little dizzy, especially when he bowed to untie his shoelace, but the shock that he walked to Ohno’s apartment instead of Jun’s made his mind clear again.
Aiba walked through the corridor till he reached the living room. They didn’t talk with each other till they both sat down on the couch, looking at each other.
“I am sorry to disturb you at this time,” Aiba started. “I drank a little too much, and I don’t know,” he rubbed the back of his head. He smiled a little, hoping that Ohno wouldn’t be too mad at him.
“You went out drinking alone?” out of all the possible questions, Aiba didn’t think that this would be Ohno’s first one.
“Ahm, yes. I was in the mood to drink something tonight.” Aiba explained. Of course he wouldn’t tell Ohno the real reason.
Ohno leaned back. He had his eyes closed. He was thinking about something, Aiba could see that. After all this years, they knew each other so well that Aiba was able to read the other’s expressions pretty well.
“What’s wrong?” Aiba asked.
Ohno sighed. He rubbed over his face twice without saying anything. Then he turned his head to face Aiba. “I thought of just kissing you.” he admitted.
Aiba felt the heat rising up in him. His cheeks must be blushing and his nervousness rose. “What?”
Ohno smiled, a little sad. Aiba didn’t like this expression. “You know, I’ve been trying for weeks. I just want to know what you really think and if there is a single chance for us. I was always able to read your thoughts, but for weeks now, it feels like you are someone different. It’s like I don’t know you anymore.”
Aiba stayed silent for a moment. He looked at his hands. His thoughts were running wild. He liked the other, but his fear was still there. “You know, I am a little afraid.” Aiba finally said.
“But why?” Ohno wanted to know. He sat up and turned to sit facing Aiba so he could see his face properly. It was a little embarrassing for Aiba, but now that they’ve started with the truth, maybe he should just spit it out.
“I think you’ll laugh at me,” Aiba breathed out, “I got rejected, three times already, and I don’t want to go through something like that again. And besides that, I am afraid to lose you as a friend.”
Ohno nodded without laughing or complaining. He just sat there and listened when Aiba talked about his rejections and about his fear of destroying their friendship by loving the other.
“I guess it’s just normal to have these feelings. We’ve known each other pretty long, and of course we can’t tell what’ll happen if we’ll try it.” Ohno started when Aiba was done, “Maybe will break up, maybe we’ll be together one year, two years, twenty years, or maybe only one week. We have no security that it’ll work, but don’t you think it’s worth trying?”
Aiba looked at him. Of course he thought a thousand times about what he should do or say, and he had the same thoughts Ohno had, but it was different to hear them in his mind or in real life. “You are right.” Aiba nodded at his own words.
Ohno smiled at him. He raised his hands and stroked softly over Aiba’s cheek, “I think it is worth trying. And we both are adults … mostly”, he grinned, “So we’ll always find a way back to friendship if it turns out bad for us.”
Aiba bit on his lips. Ohno’s eyes were honest and his words came from the bottom of his heart, he knew that. Aiba took Ohno’s hand from his face and held it tightly. He crossed his fingers with the others and smiled at him. “You are right, it’s worth trying.”
When Aiba felt Ohno’s lips on his, his world stopped spinning. It was like everything kept silent for a moment. Ohno’s hands held his face and he could feel them stroking over his cheeks softly.
“Good that I am not used to alcohol and landed here.” Aiba laughed after they broke the kiss.
“Yeah,” Ohno answered before kissing him again.
The clocked showed 05:56, and they recognized it, but ignored it for that time.
~~~
Jun was already in the green room when Aiba came to the rehearsal studio the day after.
He smiled at the other. “What?” Jun said, smiling back.
“You know, we made it.” Aiba started. “Ohno and me I mean.”
Now Jun clapped his hands. “Really?”
Aiba smiled. “Yes, and now you have to manage your thing with Nino.”
“Oh, that one.” Jun got a little nervous. Aiba looked at him closely.
Why didn’t he realize it earlier? Actually, he wasn’t bad in reading the others, but this time, he failed completely. “Don’t tell me?” he grumbled. He pulled one eyebrow up when Jun just shrugged his shoulder, a grin curling around his lips.
“When?” Aiba asked.
“Two evenings after you came by and we talked about it,” Jun said.
Aiba sighed. “And you hid it, because you wanted to give me a little kick?”
“I am sorry.” Jun said half-heartedly. He wasn’t sorry at all. “So you just told me about your lovesickness to make me go for Ohno?”
“But it worked.” Jun raised his hand to how him a victory sign.
“Yeah,” Aiba murmured a little embarrassed because he needed such a kick.
The door opened and both looked up. It was Nino standing there. “Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you.” he said.
“No, you’re not.” Jun stood up and walked up to him. “He knows now.”
“For god’s sake, so we don’t need to act like we aren’t together yet?” Nino sounded relieved.
“No.” Jun grinned a little evilly.
They wouldn’t make a big secret about their relationship, Aiba was sure about it. But he wouldn’t do either.
July 2062 - somewhere in Tokyo
Ohno and Aiba looked at each other. They smiled. Of course they actually needed to celebrate in the morning, because it was early when they had their get together, but both weren’t early birds, so they delayed it to the evening.
Aiba took Ohno’s hand in his. He stroked his thumb over it. Of course they got older, but it was still the same warmth like 47 years ago. He smiled. Again, he felt the happiness about Ohno’s first step to take the risk.
“Nino and Jun will drop by tomorrow, right?” Ohno said after a while.
“Yeah, and Sho with Kame.” Aiba added.
Both stood there, watching the sun going down. They still held their hands tightly, and both smiled.
Pairing: Aiba Masaki/ Ohno Satoshi; Matsumoto Jun/ Ninomiya Kazunari
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Beta: ivenclaire
Summary: Time goes by fast. And there’ll come the day you remember about your past and what happened when you were young.
Notes: written for the arashi_exchange for ica_90.
July 2062 - somewhere in Tokyo
Aiba looked at the slender figure standing on his balcony. He smiled a little. He couldn’t say how many times he has looked at the same picture. It was a sunny and warm September night. The numbers on the clock in the kitchen blinked. 17:56 was written there. Aiba smiled.
“Do you remember?” Aiba asked when he stepped on the balcony. He leaned against the door frame.
“Is it four minutes before 6 o’clock?” Ohno asked. He turned round to face Aiba, who nodded at him.
Aiba scanned the other’s face properly. Of course Ohno got older with the years. He has some small wrinkles around his eyes and lips, but all in all, he didn’t look like he is 82 years. Maybe it is because his eyes are still sparkling and awake, like what they usually are every day, for the past 47 years.
“You know, maybe I’ll go fishing tomorrow.” Ohno said out of the blue. He had a smile curling around his lips.
“Don’t you think it’s better to stop that in our age?” Aiba asked. He knew he’d never stop the other from doing his beloved hobby, and in the end, he didn’t want that. But sometimes, it comes to his mind that they aren’t that young anymore.
“I’m just worried.” he added when he saw Ohno’s dark glance.
“I know, but I think that’s what keeps me alive. How about coming with me this time? We can celebrate 47 years there?” Ohno suggested. Actually, Aiba wanted to decline, but Ohno’s eyes told him that he really wanted him to come along and maybe it would be a nice way to celebrate their anniversary.
“Okay.” Aiba finally said. He sighed a little. He once liked the sea, but some years ago, it stopped. He didn’t feel well out there anymore, so he decided to stay at home.
The wind brushed Aiba’s face. He closed his eyes. The smell in the air was salty. Probably a windstorm would come up during the night. But Aiba didn’t care. He liked rain. “I love it when it’s not so hot, like what it was back then…” Aiba said absent-mindedly.
“47 years ago…”, Ohno murmured and got caught in his thoughts like Aiba.
July 2015 - rehearsal room in Tokyo
It was a hot July afternoon. “Again?” Aiba whined. Some sweat was running down his face. “It’s too hot.” he added. He felt like he spent two hours in the sauna.
“I’m trying my best here.” Nino grumbled from somewhere under the window. He has been trying fix the air con for hours now. “And why do I need to do this?” he asked.
“Because you are a gamer,” Jun smiled brightly. He handed Nino a cold coke and tilted his head a little when he saw the dark glance on the other’s face.
“And that means I am good in fixing such things? You know I just play games with the controller in my hands and a TV on the other side. That doesn’t include repairing things.” Nino sounded grumpy. Some of his hair was already stuck on his forehead.
“But your controller broke and you fixed it, right?” Ohno smiled brightly.
“If you are talking about the day I threw it against the wall and it broke, and there was no shop open to buy a new one - yes, I fixed it. I put a lot of tape around the broken part. That’s NOT,” he underlined the not, “repairing it.”
Aiba hid his grin behind his hand. He looked at the others. Everyone was smiling.
“Wait,” Nino swayed the screwdriver in his hand. “You did this to make fun of me.”
“Nooo,” Ohno protracted the word. “We believe you’d really make this.”
“You know what, you, you ….” Nino started.
“Hey, you have to admit that it was funny at some point.” Jun still had the coke in his hands. He handed it to Nino who took it with a little snort.
“Maybe,” he answered.
The others laughed and in the end, Nino couldn’t resist doing same. He tousled through his hair and had one eye closed. “I guess I need a shower now.” he said while he pulled the wet hair strands out of his face.
He stood up to go to the shower room on the other side of the corridor and he didn’t see Jun looking at him instantly.
“When are you going to tell him?” Aiba said while he sat next to him.
“Tell him what?” Jun said innocently.
“Oh come on,” Aiba rolled his eyes, “It’s not as secret as you think it is.”
Jun smiled at him. “I will do it, when you do same.”
Aiba blinked. He wasn’t expecting that. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Me neither,” Jun just said.
~~~
Aiba couldn’t get rid of Jun’s words. He turned from left to right and back. He kicked the blanket off of the bed. It was too hot for it. And he was moving so much that he got sweaty all over again. “Stupid Jun,” he mumbled. Aiba decided long ago that he would never admit any feeling to anyone. His friends often asked why he did so, but he didn’t want to talk about it. In the end, there wasn’t a big reason, but he got rejected more than once and so he decided that feelings won’t get any place in his life anymore. He had his friends, but he didn’t want to have anything more. Of course, there was someone he was interested in, but he’d drink poison before he would say a single word to this person.
He closed his eyes. Ohno’s face popped up. He shook his head. “Out there,” he said to himself. He has always liked the other more than the others in his band, but he doesn’t to destroy the friendship they shared. “But if Jun and Nino…,” Aiba said while looking into the mirror. “No,” he sighed. “No, we are friends.” he lay back in his bed.
It was a sleepless night for him, and when the clock woke him up in the morning, he had the feeling that he hadn’t slept a second during the night.
~~~
Aiba bought a muffin and a coffee before he walked to the little park in front of the agency. He sat down there and bit into his blueberry-vanilla muffin. It was his favourite, especially when he was grumpy. It lets his mood rise at least for a bit. And the coffee causes at least some moments of feeling awake.
“Bad night?” he heard someone say. Aiba turned around. Gosh…he thought. Ohno was the last one he wanted to meet right now. He wanted to forget that the other was in his mind for the whole of last night.
“Yeah, something like that.” Aiba replied. He didn’t want to sound angry or exclusive. In the end, Ohno didn’t do anything wrong and Aiba really didn’t want to explain something he couldn’t.
“The heat is almost unbearable.” Ohno started, “Maybe you should come with me to the sea. It’s colder out there.” Aiba looked at him in surprise. He didn’t want to answer to this suggestion. He totally didn’t want to spend a night alone with Ohno on the boat. His feelings would explode there.
“Ah, it wasn’t the heat. I love that weather. It was a mosquito. It surrounded me all night.” Aiba nodded to his own words.
“But don’t you have a mosquito net?” Ohno looked at him. Aiba sighed. Of course, almost everyone in Japan has a net, and so did he. Sometimes, he hated Ohno for being that attentive.
“Sure I have, but maybe there is a hole somewhere. I will check it today.” Aiba smiled. He hoped the discussion would end with this.
“Guys, we’ll be starting.” Aiba heard someone calling them. It was his chance to flee from Ohno’s questions. He was glad that Sho called them in this moment. He already saw in the other’s face that he had to say something against Aiba’s mosquito net-hole-sleepless-night theory.
“Just think about joining me,” Ohno said while they walked up to the building.
Aiba could feel the heat rising into his head till his cheeks blushed. And it wasn’t only the weather which caused that. “I will.” he only said, already knowing that he would never go there with Ohno; at least not alone.
~~~
Aiba wasn’t the only one who was in a bad mood that day. “If looks could kill I think we would all be dead now.” Sho whispered at Aiba who just nodded.
Jun wasn’t only in a bad mood, he was in a really bad mood, which meant that no one dared to talk to him.
“You should go.” Nino said after a while.
“Why me?” Aiba whined.
“You are his friend.” Sho said.
“And you aren’t?” Aiba countered.
“No, not really. You know, since…,” Sho started but Aiba interrupted him immediately. “Yeah, yeah, we all know that story and we don’t want to hear it again.” Against his actual behaviour and sunny personality, Aiba sounded really grumpy.
He walked up to Jun, his heart beating a little faster. In all the years they spent together, Aiba learned one thing: never provoke an angry Jun. And even a single ‘hello’ would provoke him. Jun wasn’t often in a bad mood, but when it happens, it’s better not to talk to him. And now, Aiba had to clear that, which made his own mood sink to the North Pole - if that would even be possible.
“Hey, Jun,” Aiba sat next to the other without looking at him directly.
“What?” Jun said angrily.
Aiba turned to face him. “What’s going on?”
Jun sighed. He rubbed over his face. “It’s just,” he started, “I don’t know.”
Aiba knitted his eyebrows. “You don’t know?”
“Yes. No. Maybe. Ah…I don’t know.” Jun stuttered.
“Man, I have never seen you like this.” Aiba had to smile a little. Of course he has often seen Jun angry, but not because he was confused about his feelings, and Aiba knew he was, because he felt exactly same.
“Don’t laugh…I don’t know why I’m acting like this myself either.” Jun sounded desperate. “And I don’t like the way I am now.”
Aiba’s smile grew bigger. “Why are you laughing?” Jun wanted to know.
“You are so …. Aiba-chan like…,” he smiled, “Really, you have my behaviour right now.”
Now Jun had to smile too, “Oh god, I am infected. I have the Aiba-illness.”
Both laughed at that. They could see the others looking at them in disbelief. They had no idea what was going on, and maybe it was better that way.
“You know, I am really getting sick of this situation. I tried to tell Nino about everything in so many ways, but he didn’t get it.” Jun tilted his head a little.
Aiba rubbed over his chin, “I don’t want to sound mean, but don’t you think that it would be better to tell him directly? Because Nino isn’t really the type who could read signs.”
Jun nodded at this. “Yes, you are right. But you know, it’s strange. I never had the problem to talk to someone I like openly, why now?”
“Maybe because it’s someone you aren’t only romantically interested, but who is also a friend of yours. And you know you can ruin a lot with that.” Aiba answered. His eyes rested on Ohno, who was busy with reading the newspaper.
Jun touched the other’s shoulder slightly. “You know, you talk wisely only when it concerns yourself. You feel same, right?”
Aiba winced at that. Of course he knew that Jun was aware of his feelings for Ohno, but it is still awkward to hear it being spoken out loud.
“We really are something.” now it was Aiba who started laughing.
“How about changing it?” Jun suggested.
Something in Aiba clenched. Telling Ohno the truth? No he couldn’t. He felt like something took his breath. He wasn’t able to breathe in. “No.” he just said. He didn’t want to get rejected again; he didn’t want to feel this embarrassing emotion again. And in the end, he couldn’t say what Ohno thought of him. Maybe that would ruin their friendship. And Aiba would never forgive himself if that’d happen.
“No? But you said some moments ago that I need to take the risk, so what about you?” Jun wanted to know.
Aiba could feel the other’s gaze resting on him. He felt nervous and he started to slip from one side to the other. “I can’t,” it was all Aiba said.
Jun was already standing, but he sat next to the other again. “You can’t?”
Aiba just shook his head. “I don’t want a relationship right now.”
Jun sighed. Aiba knew his friend and that he exactly knows why Aiba said that. He could see in Jun’s eyes that he was perfectly informed why Aiba acted like this. And how could it be different? The last time he got rejected, his first way leaded him to Jun. Aiba had to smile about it.
It was some months ago when he went out with someone. And again it happened that he got rejected. It was already 2 o’clock in the morning, but Aiba needed to talk with someone, and like so often, his first way was to Jun’s apartment. Of course, the other wouldn’t be amused to get disturbed at this time, but Aiba just walked up there.
“I am sorry,” Aiba said when the door opened.
A really tired Jun stood there, just grumbling something. “Early. No good.” Aiba only understood.
Jun stepped to the side so Aiba could slip into the apartment. Aiba knew that no matter how grumpy Jun was, he’d always let a friend in.
“What the hell happened?” Jun sat down on his couch. He rubbed over his face, like he wanted to wipe away the tiredness.
“It happened again. I got rejected.” Aiba answered. He bit his lower lip. He knew he must have sounded like a teenager, but he was already really desperate about it.
“And that’s why you call me out at this time?” Jun pulled one eyebrow up. He sighed. Aiba could see him rolling his eyes. “Gin tonic?” he asked.
Aiba nodded. He already had two glasses of wine and one beer, but something to drink sounded good. “I bet you don’t know that feeling,” he said when Jun gave him the gin tonic.
Jun looked at him angrily, “Don’t be that stupid, Masaki.”
“But…,” Aiba started, but got interrupted immediately. “No, no “but”, really Masaki. Don’t tell me something like this.”
“But it’s true,” Aiba blurred out. He knew he sounded a little stubborn, but he didn’t care.
Jun sighed. “No it’s not.” he started and raised his hand when he saw that Aiba was about to say something against it. “I don’t get who I really want.”
It was the first time Aiba heard the other say something like that. He didn’t know why he thought that Jun would always get what he wanted. But the sad glance in his eyes let Aiba know that it was different. “You like someone, right?” he asked.
They have been good friends for years now, but now, Aiba realized that it was mostly him whining about being in love. Jun always kept silent about it. Now Aiba felt bad. He felt like he was always talking about himself, but he never listened to what the other wanted to tell him. “I am sorry,” he said.
“Why are you apologizing?” Jun looked at him in utter surprise.
“I think I never listened to you.” Aiba answered.
“Again: don’t be stupid Masaki. I never talked about it, because I was never sure about my own feelings. But I think I was able to sort them.” Jun smiled a little.
“Who is it?” Aiba wanted to know.
Jun smiled at him, “Can’t you guess?”
Aiba tilted his head a little. He let the past weeks repeat in his head. Suddenly, he looked up. “Oh, don’t tell me …,” he started. “Nino-chan.” He ended.
Jun had a sad smile curling around his lips. He just nodded a little.
“Why don’t you tell him?” Aiba wanted to know.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” that was all Jun said.
For some moments they kept silent. “Say, Masaki”, Jun broke the silence. “What happened with your riida-crush?”
Aiba swallowed. He once told Jun about it (on a drunken night…) but he never thought about it again. Something in him hurt. There was a short pain filling his stomach and chest. “Nothing. I guess I am over it.” Aiba said absent-mindedly.
“Really?” Jun looked at him. “When I see the strange sparkle in your eyes I would say I get the point why you get rejected all time. Don’t you think that’s the reason?”
“I have no idea.” Aiba answered honestly. If it would have been that easy.
Maybe it was stupid to tell Jun that he didn’t want a relationship now, because Jun perfectly knew that it was different. “Hey, Jun,” Aiba called for the other.
Jun turned around. He had a little smile around his lips. “You know me, right?” Aiba said.
“Sure,” Jun just said.
~~~
“Finally home,” Aiba stretched his arm, yawning loudly.
“How did you make Jun smile in the end?” it was Ohno asking him.
Aiba turned to face the other. Ohno was smiling at him. It made Aiba’s heart jump a little, even though he tried to suppress this feeling. “I am a sunny person, you know. I can fix bad mood easily.” Aiba said. Of course he wouldn’t tell Ohno what he talked about with Jun.
“No, you aren’t always sunny.” Ohno answered. He had a strange expression that Aiba couldn’t read.
“What do you mean?” he wanted to know.
“You’ve been acting strange lately. It’s like something is bothering you.” Aiba blinked at that.
He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t know what. “I’m okay.” he finally replied.
“Okay,” Ohno nodded, “Can you just do me a favour?”
“Yes?”
“Think about going on a boat trip with me again. I think you need some fresh air and distraction.” Ohno touched Aiba’s arm before he walked out of the agency.
Aiba just stood there, watching the other walking down the street. “Stop,” he whispered to himself when he felt the little jumps in his belly again. He wouldn’t agree to that.
~~~
Three beers and one vodka-coke were far too much for Aiba. He felt dizzy when he left the bar. Aiba hardly went out for drinking, especially not alone, but this day, he felt like he needed something. “I will go. Maybe I will go. Maybe not. Probably. No. Or yes?” he talked to himself while he was walking down the street. He blinked some times when the buildings and people on street started dancing around. He shook his head. “No more alcohol.” he whispered.
Twenty minutes later, he reached the house he wanted to visit. “Hey Jun,” he said when the other grumbled something in the interphone.
“Masaki,” he made a short break, “….it’s half past 5 o’clock in the morning. What do you want?”
“Just talk to you,” Aiba answered. The words were hard to form because the dizziness has spread in his head.
“Sure, you can come in, but I’m not Jun.” the voice said.
Aiba winced. He looked around. He knew the area, of course he knew. He has been here several times, but it really wasn’t Jun’s apartment he walked up to. “Oh, oh,” he said to himself.
His heart started beating faster when he walked up to the apartment. The door was already open and a real tired looking Ohno glanced at him. “I am sorry.” Aiba stuttered. He could see that Ohno was a little upset.
Ohno sighed. “Come in.”
Aiba slipped into the anteroom where he took off his shoes. He still felt a little dizzy, especially when he bowed to untie his shoelace, but the shock that he walked to Ohno’s apartment instead of Jun’s made his mind clear again.
Aiba walked through the corridor till he reached the living room. They didn’t talk with each other till they both sat down on the couch, looking at each other.
“I am sorry to disturb you at this time,” Aiba started. “I drank a little too much, and I don’t know,” he rubbed the back of his head. He smiled a little, hoping that Ohno wouldn’t be too mad at him.
“You went out drinking alone?” out of all the possible questions, Aiba didn’t think that this would be Ohno’s first one.
“Ahm, yes. I was in the mood to drink something tonight.” Aiba explained. Of course he wouldn’t tell Ohno the real reason.
Ohno leaned back. He had his eyes closed. He was thinking about something, Aiba could see that. After all this years, they knew each other so well that Aiba was able to read the other’s expressions pretty well.
“What’s wrong?” Aiba asked.
Ohno sighed. He rubbed over his face twice without saying anything. Then he turned his head to face Aiba. “I thought of just kissing you.” he admitted.
Aiba felt the heat rising up in him. His cheeks must be blushing and his nervousness rose. “What?”
Ohno smiled, a little sad. Aiba didn’t like this expression. “You know, I’ve been trying for weeks. I just want to know what you really think and if there is a single chance for us. I was always able to read your thoughts, but for weeks now, it feels like you are someone different. It’s like I don’t know you anymore.”
Aiba stayed silent for a moment. He looked at his hands. His thoughts were running wild. He liked the other, but his fear was still there. “You know, I am a little afraid.” Aiba finally said.
“But why?” Ohno wanted to know. He sat up and turned to sit facing Aiba so he could see his face properly. It was a little embarrassing for Aiba, but now that they’ve started with the truth, maybe he should just spit it out.
“I think you’ll laugh at me,” Aiba breathed out, “I got rejected, three times already, and I don’t want to go through something like that again. And besides that, I am afraid to lose you as a friend.”
Ohno nodded without laughing or complaining. He just sat there and listened when Aiba talked about his rejections and about his fear of destroying their friendship by loving the other.
“I guess it’s just normal to have these feelings. We’ve known each other pretty long, and of course we can’t tell what’ll happen if we’ll try it.” Ohno started when Aiba was done, “Maybe will break up, maybe we’ll be together one year, two years, twenty years, or maybe only one week. We have no security that it’ll work, but don’t you think it’s worth trying?”
Aiba looked at him. Of course he thought a thousand times about what he should do or say, and he had the same thoughts Ohno had, but it was different to hear them in his mind or in real life. “You are right.” Aiba nodded at his own words.
Ohno smiled at him. He raised his hands and stroked softly over Aiba’s cheek, “I think it is worth trying. And we both are adults … mostly”, he grinned, “So we’ll always find a way back to friendship if it turns out bad for us.”
Aiba bit on his lips. Ohno’s eyes were honest and his words came from the bottom of his heart, he knew that. Aiba took Ohno’s hand from his face and held it tightly. He crossed his fingers with the others and smiled at him. “You are right, it’s worth trying.”
When Aiba felt Ohno’s lips on his, his world stopped spinning. It was like everything kept silent for a moment. Ohno’s hands held his face and he could feel them stroking over his cheeks softly.
“Good that I am not used to alcohol and landed here.” Aiba laughed after they broke the kiss.
“Yeah,” Ohno answered before kissing him again.
The clocked showed 05:56, and they recognized it, but ignored it for that time.
~~~
Jun was already in the green room when Aiba came to the rehearsal studio the day after.
He smiled at the other. “What?” Jun said, smiling back.
“You know, we made it.” Aiba started. “Ohno and me I mean.”
Now Jun clapped his hands. “Really?”
Aiba smiled. “Yes, and now you have to manage your thing with Nino.”
“Oh, that one.” Jun got a little nervous. Aiba looked at him closely.
Why didn’t he realize it earlier? Actually, he wasn’t bad in reading the others, but this time, he failed completely. “Don’t tell me?” he grumbled. He pulled one eyebrow up when Jun just shrugged his shoulder, a grin curling around his lips.
“When?” Aiba asked.
“Two evenings after you came by and we talked about it,” Jun said.
Aiba sighed. “And you hid it, because you wanted to give me a little kick?”
“I am sorry.” Jun said half-heartedly. He wasn’t sorry at all. “So you just told me about your lovesickness to make me go for Ohno?”
“But it worked.” Jun raised his hand to how him a victory sign.
“Yeah,” Aiba murmured a little embarrassed because he needed such a kick.
The door opened and both looked up. It was Nino standing there. “Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you.” he said.
“No, you’re not.” Jun stood up and walked up to him. “He knows now.”
“For god’s sake, so we don’t need to act like we aren’t together yet?” Nino sounded relieved.
“No.” Jun grinned a little evilly.
They wouldn’t make a big secret about their relationship, Aiba was sure about it. But he wouldn’t do either.
July 2062 - somewhere in Tokyo
Ohno and Aiba looked at each other. They smiled. Of course they actually needed to celebrate in the morning, because it was early when they had their get together, but both weren’t early birds, so they delayed it to the evening.
Aiba took Ohno’s hand in his. He stroked his thumb over it. Of course they got older, but it was still the same warmth like 47 years ago. He smiled. Again, he felt the happiness about Ohno’s first step to take the risk.
“Nino and Jun will drop by tomorrow, right?” Ohno said after a while.
“Yeah, and Sho with Kame.” Aiba added.
Both stood there, watching the sun going down. They still held their hands tightly, and both smiled.