(no subject)
Wow. My life is never boring. Last night Kim called me and she was here in Brunswick. She wanted to see me and said she just wanted to be friends. So I met her at WalMart and we wound up going to some friends' house with Derek. Everything was going great. We were all just having a good conversation. Then Derek started being a dick and calling me a pimp and telling Kim about all these girls that call me. He was trying to get her jealous and pissed at me, which...it worked. Most everyone he was talking about, I just kind of nodded and let it go. He mentioned Nicole and I went off on how much I want to get rid of her but can't seem to tell her cause I don't want to hurt her. He also mentioned Sarah and for some reason she's had a big impact on me lately. If nothing else, she's someone I can have a long conversation with and it not be about bullshit. So I kind of talked her up a bit to both of them. Telling them what an awesome person she was. And Kim just got more and more furious. I finally stopped, not wanting to piss her off. But I mean, me and Kim aren't together, she knows I don't want to be with her. What gives? I guess she thinks I will always be that little kid...holding onto her with everything I have. That she's what makes me world go around. Well you're not hunny. My eyes have been opened and you are no longer a priority.
So Derek called me tonight and explained that the reason she got so pissed towards the end was because she wanted to spend more time with me. That's not the way to handle it. But she is Kim...and anyone that knows her or has seen her with me, knows exactly what I mean.
I am losing my job at New Roads. So I'm in a financial situation at the moment, or at least feel like I will be. Why does this always happen to me? I'm already looking for another job. It's just kind of hard when I have to keep working at New Roads...to make the little bit of money I can before I get fired. Mikal offered to help me on the money problem, but I can't take up the offer. I'm too independent. It's almost like I don't want anyone thinking that I need help. Too "proud" to ask for help I guess. But I've always been that way...even with my parents or Rachelle(or anybody else I've been with for that matter). The day that I SERIOUSLY have to ask for help, I will feel like it's my lowest point. Bleh.
In other news, I feel very sick lately. I ate a cheeseburger tonight(which was the only thing I had) and 10 minutes later it came back up. I don't know if I'm sick with a virus or if it's nerves. There definately has been alot of drama going on with me lately. I'm slowly getting rid of all of it, but it's taking time.
To everyone that's been there for me lately..thank you so much. Erika and Mikal, I don't think anyone has EVER been there more than you two. You guys were there when I was at my worst. I remember being fucked up and stripping, and you running behind me picking up my clothes. Thank GOD those days are over, but just to let you know, every fucked up thing I did around you guys...and to you guys, I am sorry for. Just know that if you're ever in need of me, I will always be there for you. And I will always love you both. Not excluding everyone else, but these two were there daily...to help me get through it. MUAH!
This post has turned monstrous and I need sleep. MUAH!
So Derek called me tonight and explained that the reason she got so pissed towards the end was because she wanted to spend more time with me. That's not the way to handle it. But she is Kim...and anyone that knows her or has seen her with me, knows exactly what I mean.
I am losing my job at New Roads. So I'm in a financial situation at the moment, or at least feel like I will be. Why does this always happen to me? I'm already looking for another job. It's just kind of hard when I have to keep working at New Roads...to make the little bit of money I can before I get fired. Mikal offered to help me on the money problem, but I can't take up the offer. I'm too independent. It's almost like I don't want anyone thinking that I need help. Too "proud" to ask for help I guess. But I've always been that way...even with my parents or Rachelle(or anybody else I've been with for that matter). The day that I SERIOUSLY have to ask for help, I will feel like it's my lowest point. Bleh.
In other news, I feel very sick lately. I ate a cheeseburger tonight(which was the only thing I had) and 10 minutes later it came back up. I don't know if I'm sick with a virus or if it's nerves. There definately has been alot of drama going on with me lately. I'm slowly getting rid of all of it, but it's taking time.
To everyone that's been there for me lately..thank you so much. Erika and Mikal, I don't think anyone has EVER been there more than you two. You guys were there when I was at my worst. I remember being fucked up and stripping, and you running behind me picking up my clothes. Thank GOD those days are over, but just to let you know, every fucked up thing I did around you guys...and to you guys, I am sorry for. Just know that if you're ever in need of me, I will always be there for you. And I will always love you both. Not excluding everyone else, but these two were there daily...to help me get through it. MUAH!
This post has turned monstrous and I need sleep. MUAH!