(no subject)
ahhhhhhhhhhhh fucking life. i cant figure out if im happy or not i think im totally fucked. why in gods name can i not keep a relationship. another one down the tubes before it even started. i dont feel like getting up from this couch. forever. i just did some painkillers. all my friends are either in poughkipsie or in nyc. nyc makes me fucking irritable. concrete sucks. whoever invented itshoudl go to hell. i want to more than a friend that you hook up with. at this point inmy life i am done with it. i am a fucking person that deserves a loving realtionship that involves commitment and respect, devotion and attention. all for me. i am a whole person and i deserve it.