Awww again!
I picked a random song out of my library. It ended up being Trying by Lifehouse. I always think of Jen when I hear this song. I listened to it for the the very first time when I was going to her house at 2:30 in the morning to help her with her paper route. It was cold and raining. I heard this song. I followed the lyrics, and I almost started shaking because it fit me so well. The whole CD does really, but this song... this song. Damn. I sent it to her a couple days later. She agreed. I sent her a lot of songs. I guess because she sent me through so many emotions that I had never experienced before that I couldn't tell her how I felt so I had to do it through songs. I had a folder on my website just for songs for her to go and listen to. I've changed since then. It's scary. Jen and I were commenting the other day on how things would be different had we never met. She did hurt me, yes, but she did show me a few things. I never would have asked Anna out would it not been for her. So, I thank her for that. Look around the room, most of the friends that I have that I actually talk to are girls. I guess I thank her for that, too. It's a different experience for me. I guess I really did learn a lot from her. I've learned a lot from everyone I've met along the way, but it all got started with her. I'd still be a hermit if it weren't for her. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, that's debatable. I plan on writing up an essay sort of thing on how things would be different for me had we never met. But, until then, take a look at the song.
Could you let down your hair be transparent for awhile
Just a little while
to see if you're human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like
we've got it all figured out
Well let me be the first to say that I
don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
ain't gonna' pretend like I do
just trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way the best that I know how
Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say
but I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this- art form someday
If I quote all the lines off the top of my head
Will you believe
that I fully un-derstand all these things I've read
I'm just trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way the best that I know how
Well I- haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
even if it takes my whole life
to get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you, and
trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way
Oh I'm trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way
Could you let down your hair be transparent for awhile
Just a little while
to see if you're human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like
we've got it all figured out
Well let me be the first to say that I
don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
ain't gonna' pretend like I do
just trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way the best that I know how
Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say
but I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this- art form someday
If I quote all the lines off the top of my head
Will you believe
that I fully un-derstand all these things I've read
I'm just trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way the best that I know how
Well I- haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
even if it takes my whole life
to get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you, and
trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way
Oh I'm trying - to find my way
trying - to find my way