Haha
I normally hate chain e-mails, but this one truly amused me:
ANALOGIES & METAPHORS FOUND IN HIGH SCHOOL ESSAYS
~ Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently
compressed by a Thigh Master.
~ His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like socks
in a dryer without Cling Free.
~ He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it.
~ She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.
~ She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.
~ Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
~ He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
~ The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.
~ From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy
comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
~ Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
~ The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.
~ Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19
p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
~ John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
never met.
~ He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East
River.
~ Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
~ The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work.
~ The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for
a while.
~ He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something.
~ The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
~ He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up.
~ She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
~ It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the
wall.
ANALOGIES & METAPHORS FOUND IN HIGH SCHOOL ESSAYS
~ Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently
compressed by a Thigh Master.
~ His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like socks
in a dryer without Cling Free.
~ He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it.
~ She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.
~ She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.
~ Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
~ He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
~ The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.
~ From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy
comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
~ Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
~ The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.
~ Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19
p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
~ John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
never met.
~ He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East
River.
~ Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
~ The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work.
~ The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for
a while.
~ He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or
something.
~ The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
~ He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up.
~ She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
~ It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the
wall.