(no subject)
ok today was fucklin long and boring and retarded and im really pist off and confused and im just really emotional lately... i kinda spent my day crying lol... ok... heres how it started... last night i set my alarm clock for 9 so i can wake up for church lol..(cuz once i started goin things have worked out so i kinda kept goin) ... so this mornin my alarm clock didnt wake me but the phone did/.. it was barry but i slept threw it... hahaha... so i got ready and like 10 barry and jr call saying they wanna smoke and crap and barry had the nerve to fuckin tell me who he ditched me for yesterday OMG i was fuckin pist off ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... how could he hang with HER at all? fuckin niglet! ugh... she can go fuck her non existent mother... cunt face!!!!!!! but anyways... i went to church and lol.. i turned my head and saw jr so we all walked to the kitchen in the church and i gave them 10 to go smoke and i was pist cuz barry was all expectin a hug and shit after tellin me who he was with... i lost mad respect for that... hes gotta earn my respect back but as of right now... i dont think its gunna happen... so i cried all throughout church lol... so after church me and meredith went to the mall then to walmart then i went to work at 230 and was supposed to meet barry at 7 after work... but meredith ended up workin and after work i was kinda draged to youth group... so if barry was there... he got wat he deserved for ditching me.. if he wasnt i have a feelin i kno where he was so thats just more loss of respect for him... youth group was retarded and after me and mere drove around lookin for him and couldnt find him so we talked to some peeple at town center... that was kool i guess... so i really think that meredith should break up with barry cuz he could be an asshole and things.. but its up to her lol... as of righht now i think i respect jr more than i respect barry right now lol... the thing that pisses me off is that meredith will hang out with me alllll day... and we will be so kool with eachother.. like i love her to pieces.. but then everyone we talk to she has to tell them that barry cheated on her with me and it really makes me feel like shit cuz... i kno more bout it than she does... i dunno i guess shell never understand how that feels.... but it hurts... cuz... i dunno.... watever... im just really pist off at today.. like really badly... i dunno... i just wanna cry some more... hahaha im all emo... god its another sign... i should just die now.. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh