Depressed
I've been really down and depressed lately. Im come to the realization that I only have a couple of true friends. All the rest are living in this world of superficiality and living for the moment. I hate it. I struggle to find someone to confide in that understands, thats with me on this one. Almost all of the people who I considered my good friends are all involved in things that I hate, and its making this summer miserable. I hardly see any of them any more because I chose to distance myself from it. I mean, I really can't enjoy myself with them cuz thats all that it seems to turn out to be. I almost want to move away, because people who you think are your friends, the majority of the time, could care less about you. Its all just a front. Its all politics. I hate it. They're not aware that someone is always watching, and I dont mean that in the God sense, though it is very true. I mean peer-wise. But they dont care. They keep on doing what they're doing. I can't be around it. I try my hardest to represent myself, my family, my church, and most importantly, my GOD, to the best of my ability. I live like my life is on camera. I try my hardest to please God and NO ONE ELSE. My "friends" don't seem to share the same sense of living. I am, in no way holier than thou, or better than them in any way. I'm a hypocrite just like them, except I see when I make mistakes, mess up, and I fix it. They live in this fantasy world that "nothing can touch them". Well they've made these last few months miserable for me, not like they care, and I hope at least one of them reads this, because I miss the days when we were ourselves. Most of my "friends" arent themselves. They put on this cover to be "impressive." Well I hope they find out that it wont get them anywhere in life, and I hope they find out the hard way. My prayer is that they find themselves and God, and we all go back to the way things were.