(no subject)
"The most horrible hypocrisy or the most terrifying hypocrisy or the most tragic hypocrisy at the center of life, I think, which no one dares mention, is that human beings don't like life. Bertrand Russell skirted that, and many psychoanalysts have too, in talking about people lusting for death. But I think at least half the people alive, and maybe nine-tenths of them, really do not like this ordeal at all. They pretend to like it some, to smile at strangers, and to get up each morning in order to survive, in order to somehow get through it. But life is, for most people, a very terrible ordeal. They would just as soon end it at any time. And I think that is more of a problem really than greed or machismo or anything like that." - Kurt Vonnegut
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide." - Albert Camus
It is no secret, or I don't think it has been, that I have been seriously depressed for a long time, leading me at times to consider suicide. If this has been kept secret from you, I apologize. I found it embarrassing. I found it embarrassing because there is no obvious reason that I should consider such a dramatic and final act. Why should I want to die? I live in an upper middle class home, with a nice, loving family. I have good enough friends, and though I may not see them as often as I like, I am not lonely by any means. I do not have some terminal or debilatating illness nor do I suffer from any sort of physical pain. In short, my life is not so bad.
So what is it? A number of medical experts have agreed that one of the main chemical components of depression is the lack of neurotransmitters flowing in between neurons -- leading, in effect, to a sort of emptiness. There is also a large possibility that it is genetically inherited. I could be one of those people. Right?
Unfortunately for anyone looking for an easy way out of this long winded post, I don't really think my problem is chemical. There is a deeper reason, I think, one that goes down to the soul, one that has plagued philosophers and poets and writers and artists, and any human being worth his salt. The question is "Why the fuck should I keep going on?"
So the question I pose to you, dear reader: why should you, of all things, matter? It is a question of dignity, something very human and practical, I think, something that should be asked at the beginning of life, and the answer sought for throughout the rest of it.
Or the question could be very well ignored, and you could just as well choose to become a hedonist.
Or a nihilist.
Or a suicide.
Please. Don't.
I don't have an answer, really, not anything big or important or society changing. I'm not going to say, "This is the meaning of life -- Behold!" I'm too young and stupid to come up with something like that. Instead, I'm going to tell you that humanity is important. Don't ask why. That's for someone else to figure out. But it is important. There is something amazing about us, don't you think? Something really beautiful.
Have you listened to jazz? Now there's something to live for!
I can't help but feel like we should continue our existence -- if only to keep wondering, to keep asking, to keep learning. To create. And sing and dance. Perhaps the better question, then, is: "Why shouldn't I matter?" What if we weren't to exist? What would the universe be then?
So, if there is anything to live for, it's this: Please, make the world just a little easier for everyone to live in -- God knows it's hard enough to just live; and please, be decent and kind; and please, if you can, make something, anything. It will be beautiful, whatever it is.
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide." - Albert Camus
It is no secret, or I don't think it has been, that I have been seriously depressed for a long time, leading me at times to consider suicide. If this has been kept secret from you, I apologize. I found it embarrassing. I found it embarrassing because there is no obvious reason that I should consider such a dramatic and final act. Why should I want to die? I live in an upper middle class home, with a nice, loving family. I have good enough friends, and though I may not see them as often as I like, I am not lonely by any means. I do not have some terminal or debilatating illness nor do I suffer from any sort of physical pain. In short, my life is not so bad.
So what is it? A number of medical experts have agreed that one of the main chemical components of depression is the lack of neurotransmitters flowing in between neurons -- leading, in effect, to a sort of emptiness. There is also a large possibility that it is genetically inherited. I could be one of those people. Right?
Unfortunately for anyone looking for an easy way out of this long winded post, I don't really think my problem is chemical. There is a deeper reason, I think, one that goes down to the soul, one that has plagued philosophers and poets and writers and artists, and any human being worth his salt. The question is "Why the fuck should I keep going on?"
So the question I pose to you, dear reader: why should you, of all things, matter? It is a question of dignity, something very human and practical, I think, something that should be asked at the beginning of life, and the answer sought for throughout the rest of it.
Or the question could be very well ignored, and you could just as well choose to become a hedonist.
Or a nihilist.
Or a suicide.
Please. Don't.
I don't have an answer, really, not anything big or important or society changing. I'm not going to say, "This is the meaning of life -- Behold!" I'm too young and stupid to come up with something like that. Instead, I'm going to tell you that humanity is important. Don't ask why. That's for someone else to figure out. But it is important. There is something amazing about us, don't you think? Something really beautiful.
Have you listened to jazz? Now there's something to live for!
I can't help but feel like we should continue our existence -- if only to keep wondering, to keep asking, to keep learning. To create. And sing and dance. Perhaps the better question, then, is: "Why shouldn't I matter?" What if we weren't to exist? What would the universe be then?
So, if there is anything to live for, it's this: Please, make the world just a little easier for everyone to live in -- God knows it's hard enough to just live; and please, be decent and kind; and please, if you can, make something, anything. It will be beautiful, whatever it is.