(no subject)
One day I hope to be at ease enough around someone to actually unburden myself. I have so much I need to let out and though my friends are amazing in most ways possible they are not the people I can do this with. That mixed with my financial stresses is as of late sapping my strength both physically and mentally. Mentally well you all know how not knowing if you can afford to live is, physically cause it turns out I as of late can't afford to live. Making the decision to stay at Entrees was not a smart move in retrospect. I did not make enough to not fall hard when I had to leave. It's the little things. I am sitting here now racking my brain and stressing myself out even more trying to find out how to make all these ends meet both financially and personally and I know it's 12:30 and I can do anything at the moment but it doesn't stop me from stressing, then stressing more cause I can't do anything to the point were it's possible and almost likely that I will sit here waiting for my mom to see if she can help me out with getting to work tomorrow and for the rest of the month. I feel that I won't be able to keep all this in anymore, and when it breaks out and I get visibly stressed it just gets worse because then people comment on it, not so much asking whats wrong but the telling me to stop being a bitch about things totally doesn't help my stress of anger levels at that time. All said and done these next two weeks will suck alot followed by alot of not sucking which is always nice. I'm just glad my housemates take my moodiness in such good stride cause it would be alot worse with out that.