and everything came crashing down..
I try to keep my mind positive about whats going on around me, try not to make myself worry, so I can stay strong for those around me, but the truth is my life sucks right now. I try to trick myself into thinking that things are looking up, and yes to some extent it has improved, but other things i.e- feelings, emotiongs, self-esteem-- have fallen way below the bar.
It didnt really begin to hit me til my birthday, my family just moved across the country, I dont have my mom here to talk to or go to. I live at home with my dad and my grandparents. I go to community college and I have a part time job at Party City which does absolutely nothing for my career.
I just wish things were better, I wish I had certain luxuries that others have, but so much for wishing, because that doesnt get you anywhere. I know things will change for me soon, hopefully this next year. I am very independent as far as im concerned except for the whole living with my parent thing, but besides that I have things to pay for, and dont get much money to really do anything for myself. It sucks!!
Normally im not a materialistic kinda person, and I know "its the thought that counts"
But it would be nice to get things from people every once in awhile, things that took some thought into getting for me, something i could actually use!! My birthday was shitty, this christmas is not going to be any better.
But everytime i think of getting something for myself, i think about someone else and how i want to get them something, im already going to be doing my christmas shopping for my friends, because i like giving people things.. thats just me.
I guess being nice is my curse
It didnt really begin to hit me til my birthday, my family just moved across the country, I dont have my mom here to talk to or go to. I live at home with my dad and my grandparents. I go to community college and I have a part time job at Party City which does absolutely nothing for my career.
I just wish things were better, I wish I had certain luxuries that others have, but so much for wishing, because that doesnt get you anywhere. I know things will change for me soon, hopefully this next year. I am very independent as far as im concerned except for the whole living with my parent thing, but besides that I have things to pay for, and dont get much money to really do anything for myself. It sucks!!
Normally im not a materialistic kinda person, and I know "its the thought that counts"
But it would be nice to get things from people every once in awhile, things that took some thought into getting for me, something i could actually use!! My birthday was shitty, this christmas is not going to be any better.
But everytime i think of getting something for myself, i think about someone else and how i want to get them something, im already going to be doing my christmas shopping for my friends, because i like giving people things.. thats just me.
I guess being nice is my curse