(no subject)
This last week my parents had their 49th anniversary. I was trying to send them an ecard from someecards.com but the site was messing up, so I thought, "Screw it. I'm gonna call 'em later anyway."
I called up and my dad answered. I make a big deal about 49 years, joke about how next year they should announce in August that it's all been a sham and they're breaking up just to fuck with people, and then dad says, "Well, I had a talk with your mom this afternoon . . ."
You gotta be fuckin' with me.
Turns out they're not breaking up or anything, because why would they? They've been going through the motions all these years, why quit now? But apparently, on their 49th anniversary, dad sits mom down and lays out how the marriage isn't one and he feels like a hypocrite every year for celebrating a mistake. Unholy bleeding fuck, this is what you say to your wife on your anniversary?
Now, it's not like anything he said to her was a surprise, unknown or even wrong. The man has some legitimate gripes that he's been legitimately griping about for decades. But c'mon, on the day itself? Shit storm. Turns out the reason dad picked up the phone is mom took off to go shopping after the discussion. After talking to my dad for about twenty minutes about this mess, he says, "Oh, your mom's back. Never mind all that. So, how're you doing?"
When mom came on the phone, I wished her a happy anniversary too, pretending I didn't know what I did, and she pretended she was glad to hear my congratulations. Now, I can talk to my folks on the phone until my ear gets sore, but this was damned awkward call. What the hell do you say? "Yeah, me and dad were just talking about how you and he are basically roommates . . . any special plans for dinner tonight?"
For the last year I've been planning on flying back home, ending my long self-imposed exile from the homeland, to be there next year for their 50th anniversary. But now I'm thinking . . . shit. Maybe we'll just pick some other time when the weather's good. Sounds like maybe this isn't something they'll feel like celebrating, 50 years or not.
When I got off the phone, Luka and I talked about it for a while. It was just so damned sad. Eventually, we went to the bedroom to make out and hold each other a bit. Perhaps I needed to be reminded that genetics isn't fate and my marriage isn't like theirs. Or maybe I just wanted to enjoy a real relationship because not everyone isn't so lucky. Then again, it could just be that I love her and wanted to be intimate for a while . . . that and she was looking hot in that off-the-shoulder top she had on. It could be any of those things. I'm just glad I'm a husband and not just someone feeling trapped.
I have to say, though, I'm glad someecards.com wasn't working correctly. How would my poor mom have fealt opening up her email and seeing this:
That's the one I'd picked out. The one I had almost picked was this one:
Cards like this are funny for being kinda true. When they're too true, not so funny.
I called up and my dad answered. I make a big deal about 49 years, joke about how next year they should announce in August that it's all been a sham and they're breaking up just to fuck with people, and then dad says, "Well, I had a talk with your mom this afternoon . . ."
You gotta be fuckin' with me.
Turns out they're not breaking up or anything, because why would they? They've been going through the motions all these years, why quit now? But apparently, on their 49th anniversary, dad sits mom down and lays out how the marriage isn't one and he feels like a hypocrite every year for celebrating a mistake. Unholy bleeding fuck, this is what you say to your wife on your anniversary?
Now, it's not like anything he said to her was a surprise, unknown or even wrong. The man has some legitimate gripes that he's been legitimately griping about for decades. But c'mon, on the day itself? Shit storm. Turns out the reason dad picked up the phone is mom took off to go shopping after the discussion. After talking to my dad for about twenty minutes about this mess, he says, "Oh, your mom's back. Never mind all that. So, how're you doing?"
When mom came on the phone, I wished her a happy anniversary too, pretending I didn't know what I did, and she pretended she was glad to hear my congratulations. Now, I can talk to my folks on the phone until my ear gets sore, but this was damned awkward call. What the hell do you say? "Yeah, me and dad were just talking about how you and he are basically roommates . . . any special plans for dinner tonight?"
For the last year I've been planning on flying back home, ending my long self-imposed exile from the homeland, to be there next year for their 50th anniversary. But now I'm thinking . . . shit. Maybe we'll just pick some other time when the weather's good. Sounds like maybe this isn't something they'll feel like celebrating, 50 years or not.
When I got off the phone, Luka and I talked about it for a while. It was just so damned sad. Eventually, we went to the bedroom to make out and hold each other a bit. Perhaps I needed to be reminded that genetics isn't fate and my marriage isn't like theirs. Or maybe I just wanted to enjoy a real relationship because not everyone isn't so lucky. Then again, it could just be that I love her and wanted to be intimate for a while . . . that and she was looking hot in that off-the-shoulder top she had on. It could be any of those things. I'm just glad I'm a husband and not just someone feeling trapped.
I have to say, though, I'm glad someecards.com wasn't working correctly. How would my poor mom have fealt opening up her email and seeing this:
That's the one I'd picked out. The one I had almost picked was this one:
Cards like this are funny for being kinda true. When they're too true, not so funny.