(no subject)
luuurve love will tear us aparrrrt agaaaiin.....
oh! dear...what have i become..lost in the twilight zone of still being in love with my ex, not caring about my life and not turning up at work...drinking every night...clubbing every night...feeling like shit...feeling happy ...feeling worthless...feeling confident....feeling suicidal again...noise noise noise doing coke smoking weed drinking beers. and last but not least pissing blood.
i do just want to go back in time and for me n her to work in the hospital together like i was when i started this journal, i was so happy then...
i have to magically conjour up 500 quid for the 19th too, how the fuck am i going to do that?
the guy my ex is seeing has a bigger dick than me , he is going to take her on holiday (which i always wanted to do but was always too lazy and poor to do) he is talented, has a good fashion sense and she has always fancied him even when we were going steady. He was also a good friend of mine , until now. i just wish that i didnt feel so heartbroken over it all ... i dont ever ever want to lose her..and i know that i will to him....
god i am becoming more pathetic with every passing day
i do wish that i could self harm cos now would be a really good time to start.
my mind is stronger than all of this shit..i know that...but who can deny the strength of such painfull emotion. Love is tearing my soul apart.
oh! dear...what have i become..lost in the twilight zone of still being in love with my ex, not caring about my life and not turning up at work...drinking every night...clubbing every night...feeling like shit...feeling happy ...feeling worthless...feeling confident....feeling suicidal again...noise noise noise doing coke smoking weed drinking beers. and last but not least pissing blood.
i do just want to go back in time and for me n her to work in the hospital together like i was when i started this journal, i was so happy then...
i have to magically conjour up 500 quid for the 19th too, how the fuck am i going to do that?
the guy my ex is seeing has a bigger dick than me , he is going to take her on holiday (which i always wanted to do but was always too lazy and poor to do) he is talented, has a good fashion sense and she has always fancied him even when we were going steady. He was also a good friend of mine , until now. i just wish that i didnt feel so heartbroken over it all ... i dont ever ever want to lose her..and i know that i will to him....
god i am becoming more pathetic with every passing day
i do wish that i could self harm cos now would be a really good time to start.
my mind is stronger than all of this shit..i know that...but who can deny the strength of such painfull emotion. Love is tearing my soul apart.