bathrooms
I’ve been meaning to make a post on my live journal…
And I have THE perfect topic…
I went to the bathroom this afternoon in one of the old buildings (Carnegie) that I have class in, and it is probably one of the nastiest bathrooms, I’ve ever been in. Not only does it smell like something died in there, but there are spider webs everywhere, and the ceilings are so low, I almost hit my head going into a stall.
And you know what it reminded me of?
When Tiffany and I drove to Long Beach/Compton for the first time this summer, we had VENTI VANILLA LATTES in Calabasas. Yeah, AND I forgot to get gas. So, by the time we sit in traffic for an hour, we finally get to the airport and we CANNOT wait any longer to pee. (Damn those vanilla lattes.) So, we stop at a Mobil off of Howard Hughes Pkwy, and sure enough, the bathroom is closed. I couldn’t wait, though, and I begged the attendant to let me go in. And that shit was naaasty. The floor was flooded, the toilet had pee in it. Yeah, I had to pee THAT bad.
So, that got me thinking about OTHER nasty-ass bathrooms…
Like Venice Beach. Sure, ALL beach bathrooms are disgusting. But Venice Beach has, by the far, THE nastiest bathroom I have EVER been in. Absolutely disgusting. It made me want to throw up.
And then again, that tree at Oak Park High School me and Tess had to pee on at 3 in the morning on August 16 because no bathrooms were open was pretty gross, too.
And the charter bus we took to Reno, uhm, that was pretty disgusting. It smelled.. and sloshed around at every bump.
But, then, I got thinking not only about disgusting bathrooms, but just situations, in general, that involved me or someone else having to pee really bad, or just any bathroom situation whatsoever.
Here’s what I came up with…
-- Gigi and I went to Nick’s birthday party at some random house in Malibu over Christmas break. (Was it Christmas Break ’05? I think so.) I had a few beers, and really had to pee, and Gigi had to pee, like always. Well, the toilet (the only toilet in the house) didn’t flush and there was no toilet paper. We peed anyway. She made it in the toilet. I somehow managed to pee on my jeans. I do not how it was possible. And even though Gigi was wearing three layers, she refused to lend me a shirt to tie around my waste. So, I walked around with my hand behind my ass, because I pissed myself… THAT SAME NIGHT… We left that party, and I had to pee when we left, and by the time we got through the canyon, I REALLY had to pee. Sure it was 2 in the morning, but holy shit, I needed to find somewhere to pee. She wouldn’t even pull over to let me pee on the side of the road. It was the worst I have ever had to pee. Thanks for the torture, Gigi, it really toughened me up.
-- Tess and I drove to Costa Mesa at 3 in the afternoon, on a school day, once. To chase some Australian boys. I won’t get into the whole story, but I had to pee before we got on the 405. Two hours later, I thought my bladder was going to burst. Tess, too. We even considered peeing in her empty Snapple bottle. We sat on the 405 for THREE HOURS, having to pee, having NO WAY to get off the freeway. Let’s just say, that exit, that Subway we stopped in to pee, was the most orgasmic experience I had that week. (I wouldn’t say the same for Tess. Jon didn’t have a girlfriend.)
-- Did anyone notice that Chaminade’s gym girls’ bathroom ALWAYS smelled like rotten ranch dressing??
-- In junior high, at St. Judes, Gigi actually got a doctor’s note so that she could go to the bathroom anytime she wanted. I actually remember her telling Mrs. Boggs, “I have a doctor’s note!” She used it in high school, too.
-- After a scrumptious dinner at La Salsa at the Promenade, Gigi and I decided to use the restroom. She goes, and when I go in to go… There is piss ALL OVER the seat. Yeah, Gigi missed the fucking toilet bowl.
-- My sophomore year at Westlake High School, I had a certain Spanish teacher for Spanish DOS. I had her 5th period. The one right before lunch. Well, at break, I would always buy a bottle of water and drink it in 4th period. By Spanish time, I’d have to pee. She would NEVER let me pee. I will forever have bladder problems because of that woman. I would cry, beg, and threaten to pee in her trashcan. I would sprint, the SECOND the bell rang, to the bathroom, and still have to wait in a line of 12 people. Stupid bitch.
--At Chaminade, I’d see Gigi in bathroom more than anyone. We just happened to go to the same bathroom, at the same time, very often.
-- The first time I was ever high, I knew I was high, because I thought I spent an hour peeing the Taco Bell bathroom.
-- Times I’ve been drunk, and disappeared into a bathroom for a long time…
-- Carls Jr. with Tony Occhipinti and Tony Scott waiting.
-- A gas station.. with Tony Occhipinti waiting (he waited for me outside random bathrooms A LOT!)
-- A park bathroom in Newbury Park, with Ryan and Sam waiting.
-- At a party in Thousand Oaks, a guy actually went in with me to pee.
-- Gigi. Tiffany. Veneza. How many HOURS of our lives have been spent inside the girls bathroom of the Barnes and Nobles at the Promenade?
-- Does anyone else feel bad about using a fast food restaurant’s bathroom (like McDonald’s) and not buying any food???
Nope, I’m not done. Keep on reading!! And I hope you’re thinking about your own bathroom adventures with me!
-- I probably haven’t told you this. But on Saturday, I got stuck in a Port-a-Potty bathroom, because I was so drunk, and my friend Megan (poor thing) had to talk me through the traumatic experience.
-- When Tiffany and I were, oh, I don’t know, maybe 12, we went shopping with her grandma. We were in the Robinson’s May bathroom (or was it JC Penny’s?), when we hear someone grunting and then finally letting out a huge fart, and probably some poop, too. I say, “Wasn’t me!” We could not help but crack up laughing.
-- Last year, I rushed from volleyball practice to pick up Tess and meet Gigi at Pavillions so that we could haul ass down to Ventura, yet again, chasing a boy. Well, my the time I picked up Tess, I had to pee really bad. By the time we got to Pavillions, I ran like a mad woman into Pavillions, barefoot, in a sports bra, and jeans, in order to pee. Why didn’t I go at Tess’? Didn’t want to be late for Gigi. Gigi didn’t get to Pavillions until 20 minutes after I peed.
-- I slept on Tess’ dad’s ass. Actually, I just passed out on her downstairs toilet after drinking too much beer.
-- When I went to Santa Barbara with Tess and Tawny, I was partying like crazy crazy. Taking tequila shots off Tawny and Tess, making out with everyone… and then I woke up at 4 in the morning on the bathroom floor.
-- I don’t remember if this was Gigi or Tess… I think it was Gigi at the beach house.. “Why does it smell like fire in the bathroom?”. Matches. Hahaha. Tiffany took her matches on Kairos.
-- When I applied to work at the Westlake Village Inn, I took a drug test. You know, I peed in a cup. Tess, for her drug test, left them a little something extra.
-- Did you know Tiffany and I didn’t poop for FIVE DAYS at outdoor ed in 5th grade?? She was sick as a dog on the last day.
-- Haha. Vegas trip 2004. On the way home, Amanda took the WRONG way, and we (Kellie, Tess, Amanda, and I) were stuck in the middle of the fucking desert on a closed road, and I had to pee like there was no tomorrow.
-- Me and my brother made up a song, “I gotta pee like a racehorseeee..” It’s got a really nice beat to it, ask me to sing it for you sometime.
-- At the beginning of the summer, Tony Scott had to pee really bad at like midnight. Since we were in Thousand Oaks, we stopped at the mall. ONE door was open at the entrance near Johnny Rockets. And then the Johnny Rockets door was open. NO ONE was in there. So, she went in and peed. As I waited outside the door, just waiting for someone to come out from the back. No one did. We successfully broke into the mall to pee. Haha.
-- One of the coolest bathrooms I’ve ever been in: Papas ‘n Beer in Encinadas, Mexico.
-- This summer, towards the end, Gigi decided she was going to drive 15 miles out of her way to get cheaper gas in the Valley, at like Fallbrook and Vanowen or something. Well, we ended hanging out at that gas station for like 2 hours. Finally, Gigi had to pee, and it was probably the sketchiest bathroom venture ever. We thought we were going to get killed.
-- Oak Park’s gym’s girl’s bathroom.. is disgusting. Just thought you should know.
-- Chaminade’s bathrooms with the automatic flusher. Just pissed me off.
-- Or the first time I ever hung out with Tess, we went to In 'N Out in the valley, and I had to pee so bad! Tess REFUSED to gently guide my car through the drive-thru while I peed. So, I had to wait. The code for the In 'N Out bathroom in the valley is 134, in case you were wondering.
That’s all I can think of right now, and I should really be getting to class. Comment me more memories!
And I have THE perfect topic…
I went to the bathroom this afternoon in one of the old buildings (Carnegie) that I have class in, and it is probably one of the nastiest bathrooms, I’ve ever been in. Not only does it smell like something died in there, but there are spider webs everywhere, and the ceilings are so low, I almost hit my head going into a stall.
And you know what it reminded me of?
When Tiffany and I drove to Long Beach/Compton for the first time this summer, we had VENTI VANILLA LATTES in Calabasas. Yeah, AND I forgot to get gas. So, by the time we sit in traffic for an hour, we finally get to the airport and we CANNOT wait any longer to pee. (Damn those vanilla lattes.) So, we stop at a Mobil off of Howard Hughes Pkwy, and sure enough, the bathroom is closed. I couldn’t wait, though, and I begged the attendant to let me go in. And that shit was naaasty. The floor was flooded, the toilet had pee in it. Yeah, I had to pee THAT bad.
So, that got me thinking about OTHER nasty-ass bathrooms…
Like Venice Beach. Sure, ALL beach bathrooms are disgusting. But Venice Beach has, by the far, THE nastiest bathroom I have EVER been in. Absolutely disgusting. It made me want to throw up.
And then again, that tree at Oak Park High School me and Tess had to pee on at 3 in the morning on August 16 because no bathrooms were open was pretty gross, too.
And the charter bus we took to Reno, uhm, that was pretty disgusting. It smelled.. and sloshed around at every bump.
But, then, I got thinking not only about disgusting bathrooms, but just situations, in general, that involved me or someone else having to pee really bad, or just any bathroom situation whatsoever.
Here’s what I came up with…
-- Gigi and I went to Nick’s birthday party at some random house in Malibu over Christmas break. (Was it Christmas Break ’05? I think so.) I had a few beers, and really had to pee, and Gigi had to pee, like always. Well, the toilet (the only toilet in the house) didn’t flush and there was no toilet paper. We peed anyway. She made it in the toilet. I somehow managed to pee on my jeans. I do not how it was possible. And even though Gigi was wearing three layers, she refused to lend me a shirt to tie around my waste. So, I walked around with my hand behind my ass, because I pissed myself… THAT SAME NIGHT… We left that party, and I had to pee when we left, and by the time we got through the canyon, I REALLY had to pee. Sure it was 2 in the morning, but holy shit, I needed to find somewhere to pee. She wouldn’t even pull over to let me pee on the side of the road. It was the worst I have ever had to pee. Thanks for the torture, Gigi, it really toughened me up.
-- Tess and I drove to Costa Mesa at 3 in the afternoon, on a school day, once. To chase some Australian boys. I won’t get into the whole story, but I had to pee before we got on the 405. Two hours later, I thought my bladder was going to burst. Tess, too. We even considered peeing in her empty Snapple bottle. We sat on the 405 for THREE HOURS, having to pee, having NO WAY to get off the freeway. Let’s just say, that exit, that Subway we stopped in to pee, was the most orgasmic experience I had that week. (I wouldn’t say the same for Tess. Jon didn’t have a girlfriend.)
-- Did anyone notice that Chaminade’s gym girls’ bathroom ALWAYS smelled like rotten ranch dressing??
-- In junior high, at St. Judes, Gigi actually got a doctor’s note so that she could go to the bathroom anytime she wanted. I actually remember her telling Mrs. Boggs, “I have a doctor’s note!” She used it in high school, too.
-- After a scrumptious dinner at La Salsa at the Promenade, Gigi and I decided to use the restroom. She goes, and when I go in to go… There is piss ALL OVER the seat. Yeah, Gigi missed the fucking toilet bowl.
-- My sophomore year at Westlake High School, I had a certain Spanish teacher for Spanish DOS. I had her 5th period. The one right before lunch. Well, at break, I would always buy a bottle of water and drink it in 4th period. By Spanish time, I’d have to pee. She would NEVER let me pee. I will forever have bladder problems because of that woman. I would cry, beg, and threaten to pee in her trashcan. I would sprint, the SECOND the bell rang, to the bathroom, and still have to wait in a line of 12 people. Stupid bitch.
--At Chaminade, I’d see Gigi in bathroom more than anyone. We just happened to go to the same bathroom, at the same time, very often.
-- The first time I was ever high, I knew I was high, because I thought I spent an hour peeing the Taco Bell bathroom.
-- Times I’ve been drunk, and disappeared into a bathroom for a long time…
-- Carls Jr. with Tony Occhipinti and Tony Scott waiting.
-- A gas station.. with Tony Occhipinti waiting (he waited for me outside random bathrooms A LOT!)
-- A park bathroom in Newbury Park, with Ryan and Sam waiting.
-- At a party in Thousand Oaks, a guy actually went in with me to pee.
-- Gigi. Tiffany. Veneza. How many HOURS of our lives have been spent inside the girls bathroom of the Barnes and Nobles at the Promenade?
-- Does anyone else feel bad about using a fast food restaurant’s bathroom (like McDonald’s) and not buying any food???
Nope, I’m not done. Keep on reading!! And I hope you’re thinking about your own bathroom adventures with me!
-- I probably haven’t told you this. But on Saturday, I got stuck in a Port-a-Potty bathroom, because I was so drunk, and my friend Megan (poor thing) had to talk me through the traumatic experience.
-- When Tiffany and I were, oh, I don’t know, maybe 12, we went shopping with her grandma. We were in the Robinson’s May bathroom (or was it JC Penny’s?), when we hear someone grunting and then finally letting out a huge fart, and probably some poop, too. I say, “Wasn’t me!” We could not help but crack up laughing.
-- Last year, I rushed from volleyball practice to pick up Tess and meet Gigi at Pavillions so that we could haul ass down to Ventura, yet again, chasing a boy. Well, my the time I picked up Tess, I had to pee really bad. By the time we got to Pavillions, I ran like a mad woman into Pavillions, barefoot, in a sports bra, and jeans, in order to pee. Why didn’t I go at Tess’? Didn’t want to be late for Gigi. Gigi didn’t get to Pavillions until 20 minutes after I peed.
-- I slept on Tess’ dad’s ass. Actually, I just passed out on her downstairs toilet after drinking too much beer.
-- When I went to Santa Barbara with Tess and Tawny, I was partying like crazy crazy. Taking tequila shots off Tawny and Tess, making out with everyone… and then I woke up at 4 in the morning on the bathroom floor.
-- I don’t remember if this was Gigi or Tess… I think it was Gigi at the beach house.. “Why does it smell like fire in the bathroom?”. Matches. Hahaha. Tiffany took her matches on Kairos.
-- When I applied to work at the Westlake Village Inn, I took a drug test. You know, I peed in a cup. Tess, for her drug test, left them a little something extra.
-- Did you know Tiffany and I didn’t poop for FIVE DAYS at outdoor ed in 5th grade?? She was sick as a dog on the last day.
-- Haha. Vegas trip 2004. On the way home, Amanda took the WRONG way, and we (Kellie, Tess, Amanda, and I) were stuck in the middle of the fucking desert on a closed road, and I had to pee like there was no tomorrow.
-- Me and my brother made up a song, “I gotta pee like a racehorseeee..” It’s got a really nice beat to it, ask me to sing it for you sometime.
-- At the beginning of the summer, Tony Scott had to pee really bad at like midnight. Since we were in Thousand Oaks, we stopped at the mall. ONE door was open at the entrance near Johnny Rockets. And then the Johnny Rockets door was open. NO ONE was in there. So, she went in and peed. As I waited outside the door, just waiting for someone to come out from the back. No one did. We successfully broke into the mall to pee. Haha.
-- One of the coolest bathrooms I’ve ever been in: Papas ‘n Beer in Encinadas, Mexico.
-- This summer, towards the end, Gigi decided she was going to drive 15 miles out of her way to get cheaper gas in the Valley, at like Fallbrook and Vanowen or something. Well, we ended hanging out at that gas station for like 2 hours. Finally, Gigi had to pee, and it was probably the sketchiest bathroom venture ever. We thought we were going to get killed.
-- Oak Park’s gym’s girl’s bathroom.. is disgusting. Just thought you should know.
-- Chaminade’s bathrooms with the automatic flusher. Just pissed me off.
-- Or the first time I ever hung out with Tess, we went to In 'N Out in the valley, and I had to pee so bad! Tess REFUSED to gently guide my car through the drive-thru while I peed. So, I had to wait. The code for the In 'N Out bathroom in the valley is 134, in case you were wondering.
That’s all I can think of right now, and I should really be getting to class. Comment me more memories!