"So you never answered, what was your most significant life altering experience?"
So did you ever look at yourself; where you are, what you're doing, how you go about living life, and realize that what you truly want is unobtainable? That this thing you need, is outside your reach because of the path you are on? Then you look at what you do have, and think, "Wow, this isn't at all where I pictured myself at 20." Then you try to look at the good things you have, and realize that as great as they are, you will cherish them. But they will never fully attain the greatness they deserve until you fulfill your needs. Then, after all these conclusions, you once again realize, that fulfilling your needs, is no longer an option. That living vicariously and through a proposed future is all you can do. That you don't even hope for it to get better anymore, that you just say it will to deny the inevitability of the truth. Leading you to look at those closer to you, only to wonder what you offer them. Then upon realization of what you bring to life, you once again wonder why it's you they get that from. Then your relationships with people are shown for what they are, be it love, friendhsip, family, trust, hatred, loathing, or jealousy. You realize that most of your relationships are based on love, trust, friendship, and family. Reviling in why you went through this whole depressing phase of analyzation, you fall back on the fact that one of the things you have, is really close to what you truly want. Only to once again see your shortcomings in the journey toward your ultimate goals and dreams. This in turn makes the quest seem fruitless, since now you can only realize your failures. Leaving you once again, in a haze of unwanted feelings, plaguing each thought of every day. As you trudge through another day, telling yourself it is a means to an end. Then you go to bed, the same as every night before, realizing that the end keeps moving further away, and sleep is your only escape, be it only for a few hours. You dream about what you yearn for, only to wake up to a buzz, signaling, once again, that is time to live life for another day. That it is time to once again start the process of quasi-convincing that gets you through the day.