It's a strike! I hear the union wants to lower the retirement age of its members to thirty-two. And the salary raised up to, like, $120,000 and all the candy corn they can eat!
And that every train and bus driver will get a kitten (or puppy) to ride in their laps while they work. And after nine months, they get to throw them out and get a new two-week-old one! Fully pedigreed!
And MTA workers will be allowed to just point to people in the subway they find attractive and the commuters will be escorted to a little room where the MTA workers can have sex with them. No lie!
And the MTA workers will get to drive trains home and use them on the weekends for costume parties and camping trips!