Social Anxiety
I woke up about 15 minutes ago to an odd sound. Come to find out it was my landlord pruning the bushes/plantlife in front of my apartment. All of a sudden I froze, afraid to make the slightest movement for fear that it would then be known that a) I'm home (though he knows my car so he obviously knew that to begin with when he got here) and b) I'd have to interact because he might knock on my door (no idea why...but my irrational brain was at work...still is actually since he's still out there). I don't know why I get so "on-edge" about all of this, but for some reason I crack out with paranoia. Same thing goes for interacting with my neighbor. I try and avoid this as much as is humanly possible with my routine of coming and going. He's going through a divorce and that eventually comes up in his conversation...how his wife is a "witch" and the implication that now he's poor because he's spending so much on lawyers. Great buddy, shit happens and I hardly know you so don't come whining to me. Oh and his other favorite topic of conversation...he moved here from California, described by him as "the land of freaks", thinking it would be better only to find that he "moved into the land of freaks". Um yeah, Portland people are kinda weird, but shit a good portion of the people here are also VERY open-minded..can't really say the same for him...which makes me want to punch him everytime he bitches about living here. I'm a strong believer in the thinking that if you don't like something in your life and you've got the power to change it, you should just take that power into your hands and actually make that change happen.