Too Strong To Lose...
Confession
In the past, I've been too eager to make friends because I was lonely, and that made me reach out blindly. When my hand met with something of potential, I tended to lean on that, putting myself not only more vulnerable to being hurt, but also annoying people and scaring them away. I know that now. Rejection taught me that people don't trust you when you're too friendly.
I regret coming on too strongly, years ago, when I was deeply afraid, yearning for that light in the darkness. I should have remembered that I still have a reputation, and that I should step extra carefully on enemy turf. Sometimes I forget myself. Sometimes I forget to play the game - and I'm way too sensitive to be playing anyway.
Last night was just awkward, oh man I'm stupid...