Right, I really need to post, 'cos there's Stuff going on
I've now (bar mopping up today) finished my temp assignment at FLOW[1]. I'm having the rest of the week OFF, plus Monday and Tuesday of next week, in order to celebrate mine and others' birthdays. I'm gradually filling up my social calendar[2], but if anyone's free to meet, especially during the day, then shout, and we'll sort something out.
I'm feeling a little nervous about taking time off when I don't know where my next income is coming from... I know I need to rest, I've worked solidly since June[3], and I clocked up 56 hours last week. I also know that in general, it doesn't take me long to find work; the longest I've ever been on the dole was two weeks, and between my NHS job and this assignment, I was at home for a grand total of TWO DAYS. I know I can get more work through the same agency, provided I'm willing to work in construction some more, and I know I can work another week for FLOW in Nov (see [1]). I also know that last week's pay will see me through for a while, and yet, I still feel nervous. Part of it is also that I've really enjoyed working full-on, and now that it's over, I'm not sure what to do with myself. It's like surrounding yourself with people non-stop: when you're on your own again, you feel weird. I don't really want to get used to relaxing too much, either. And apart from that, I have a certain degree of guilt over all the stuff I could be doing at home - tidying, cleaning, throwing things out - it's as though I'm not allowing myself to just relax and chill out, I must always be doing something. It's a peculiar kind of headspace, and I'm going to try to get over it and make myself relax a bit. Being with friends and partners, enjoying their company without worrying about getting enough sleep or being late to meet them, will be a great help in this, I feel. I might, you know, get around to cooking as well ;-)
I will learn to relax one day.
[1] There's a possibility I might be back for a week in November, sometime after the 5th, but only if I haven't found a new assignment by then.
[2] There's a link to my GCal on my LJ sidebar if you want to see for yourself.
[3] ... and any time I had off then was due to compassionate leave, so it was an especially stressful time and doesn't count. Aside from the wedding and (brief) honeymoon last year, I can't think that I've actually had a proper holiday in ages...
I'm feeling a little nervous about taking time off when I don't know where my next income is coming from... I know I need to rest, I've worked solidly since June[3], and I clocked up 56 hours last week. I also know that in general, it doesn't take me long to find work; the longest I've ever been on the dole was two weeks, and between my NHS job and this assignment, I was at home for a grand total of TWO DAYS. I know I can get more work through the same agency, provided I'm willing to work in construction some more, and I know I can work another week for FLOW in Nov (see [1]). I also know that last week's pay will see me through for a while, and yet, I still feel nervous. Part of it is also that I've really enjoyed working full-on, and now that it's over, I'm not sure what to do with myself. It's like surrounding yourself with people non-stop: when you're on your own again, you feel weird. I don't really want to get used to relaxing too much, either. And apart from that, I have a certain degree of guilt over all the stuff I could be doing at home - tidying, cleaning, throwing things out - it's as though I'm not allowing myself to just relax and chill out, I must always be doing something. It's a peculiar kind of headspace, and I'm going to try to get over it and make myself relax a bit. Being with friends and partners, enjoying their company without worrying about getting enough sleep or being late to meet them, will be a great help in this, I feel. I might, you know, get around to cooking as well ;-)
I will learn to relax one day.
[1] There's a possibility I might be back for a week in November, sometime after the 5th, but only if I haven't found a new assignment by then.
[2] There's a link to my GCal on my LJ sidebar if you want to see for yourself.
[3] ... and any time I had off then was due to compassionate leave, so it was an especially stressful time and doesn't count. Aside from the wedding and (brief) honeymoon last year, I can't think that I've actually had a proper holiday in ages...