this needs cheerleading

May 21, 2010 13:24

Because it's totally not going anywhere in my mind, but there needs to be more Joe/Bob in the world, right? Give me lame high school ideas that will go with this!

Joe normally doesn’t have any trouble making friends. Joe is totally cool. Granted, Joe’s never transferred to a new school before, but Joe is awesome - he’s got a kickass fro, plays guitar, knows obscure facts about the history of Jazz; he’s pretty much ready-made for popularity. Or, at the very least, he should be able to slip right into the role of king of the band geeks. Joe’s not picky, he’s just not suited for a lone wolf lifestyle.

Which makes it really inconvenient when he finds out that everybody in his new school are huge douches.

It’s crazy, because he knows it’s a private school - and hadn’t that been a fun change, uniforms suck cock and balls - but how can every kid be so completely asshole-ish?

He makes acquaintances instead of friends, but he sort of hates himself for making them, because Jordan regularly uses the word fag and Saunders likes to quote White Fang at him and Lacey wears freaking ascots instead of ties and thinks he’s the shit because he’s the star soccer player; and not in the awesome way that Pete always thought he was the shit. They’re all a bunch of pretentious blowhards, Joe feels like banging his head against his locker after he talks to them, but at least they seem to like him okay. Joe doesn’t really get it, he’s kind of nothing like them, but he figures maybe he’s a novelty or something. He’s pretty much dreading the day when they figure out he’s not their kind of cool, and they start shoving him into lockers and beating the shit out of him during lunch, like they do to all the freaky-weird guys on the croquet team.

The freaky-weird guys on the croquet team are also douches, but for entirely different reasons than Jordan, Saunders and Lacey.

It’s like there’s something in the Jersey water. Joe’s never done anything to them, yet they always glare at him like he’s dirt, or like he smells really bad. They have a problem with Joe being Joe, apparently, which is ironic, considering they routinely get beaten up because everyone else has a problem with them being them.

And, all right, Joe’s totally not gay, but there’s something about Bob Bryar that makes his fingers tingle.
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