Not!Fic: Yet Even More Ryan of Green Gables
So I lied. The last section got wildly long, so there will be one more part after this one. Again, I am all over the place and I don't care. Previous parts are here, here, here and here (and they're also linked internally). Enjoy!
Ryan is homesick like crazy the first few months at college. William makes it easier. Even Brendon helps, showing up fairly regularly at the little house Ryan shares with William and Gabe and Greta.
Gabe is tall and thin and has a horrible sense of humor. He wears dark suits with purple blouses and shiny shoes and he’s more trouble even than William.
Greta is all curves and gives Ryan these wonderful hugs that strangely remind him of Gerard, and sometimes that’s good, and sometimes it makes Ryan curl up on his bed with the lights dimmed.
Brendon comes around nearly every evening and sits with Ryan and William and sometimes Greta - Greta thinks Brendon is adorably sweet and she fusses over him - and occasionally Gabe, but Gabe is a man-about-town and is almost always out with a crowd. Which is just as well, because the only thing worse than having Gabe and William in the same room is having Gabe, William and Brendon all carrying on together.
Ryan actually really enjoys Brendon’s company now. He can still be highly annoying and hyper, but he’s so familiar, and therefore so dear. They go out for ice cream, and Brendon takes up all this extra space - you wouldn’t think that, to look at him, because he hasn’t grown very much over the years - and he hooks their arms together and he makes Ryan laugh and, really, without Spencer there, Brendon is rapidly becoming Ryan’s closest friend. Not confidant, though, because Ryan could never tell everything to Brendon the way he tells Spencer. He trusts Spencer with his whole life, but Brendon’s kind of a spaz.
Ryan meets Keltie in one of his classes. She’s tiny and blonde and lovely and she makes Ryan’s heart race and he’s pretty sure he’s in love with her. He tells as much to William, sprawled across his bed, and William frowns down at him.
“What about Brendon?” he asks, and Ryan furrows his brow in confusion.
“What about him?”
“Ryan, you.” William sits down next to Ryan and pats his hand. “Ryan, you can’t not know he’s in love with you.”
Ryan blinks. “Huh?”
“Brendon’s in love with you! He’s been in love with you for forever.”
“He has not,” Ryan protests, because he’s sure he would have noticed that.
“You cuddle on the sofa!” William sounds pissed, and Ryan has actually never seen William pissed before.
And they do cuddle, but it’s more like Brendon curls up into his side and nuzzles in until Ryan obligingly wraps an arm around him, and maybe pets or scratches the back of his neck while they read a while by lamplight, but.
“I can’t.” Ryan presses a hand over his mouth. Oh, this is horrible. Brendon is. Brendon is so special, but Ryan is in love with Keltie! “I didn’t mean,” Ryan whispers. “William, what am I going to do?”
“Talk to Brendon,” William says, nodding sagely.
William, of course, thinks Ryan is making a terrible mistake, because Brendon is his perfect match in every way, and he worships Ryan, always has, and they were meant for each other and everything, but he isn’t going to push. He wouldn’t have said anything at all about it, but he can see the whole thing ending in a huge mess, and William likes messes, he honestly does, but he’s not like Gabe. He doesn’t like hurtful messes, and he doesn’t think having Brendon’s heart break is funny, and he just hopes Ryan is gentle with him.
*
Spencer sends letters constantly about all that is going on at home, and how the wedding plans are coming along and he says how much he misses Ryan and wishes he were there and how he wishes Ryan wasn’t so far away, but that he’s sure he’s having grand adventures without him. Jon always tacks on a line or two at the bottom, a hello and wish-you-well, and Ryan can picture Jon’s handsome face and pleasant smile.
Ryan writes Spencer about his classes and the gang - William and Gabe and Greta and Brendon, and Keltie now, and Nicky and Tyson, Brendon’s housemates - and he writes about how perfect Keltie is, how refined and darling, and he tells Spencer nearly everything, but he doesn’t tell him about that night, when he sat next to Brendon and told him about Keltie, and how he said, “We’re friends, right?” in a completely cowardly move - William doesn’t know about it, either, because Ryan’s certain he’d be beyond upset at how Ryan addressed the whole Brendon-in-love-with-him issue - and how Brendon’s face had faltered for the barest second, pale skin and deep, dark eyes, before he nodded and smiled so hard, and if the smile didn’t quite spread past his mouth, well, Ryan never mentioned it.
*
Even though Gerard told Frank yes - and Frank will remember that moment forever, when Gerard showed up at his door and took his face in his hands and said, “Yes, Frank, yes, I’ll marry you,” after Frank had been quaking with nerves for nearly an hour - he refuses to marry him right away. It’s Ryan’s first year away from home, and Gerard doesn’t want to leave Mikey alone, doesn’t want it to seem like they’re all abandoning him at once.
Mikey’s thankful for this, he is, but there are times he feels like an intruder in his own house, stumbling on Frank and Gerard and secret whispers in the parlor, on the porch swing, out back under the old oak. Sometimes he thinks it would be easier if Gerard just moved on.
Mikey’s taken to visiting Andy. Andy has weird views on the world. He sits on his front porch and smokes and taps out rhythms with his thick-soled boots. He lives by himself, although Pete says he had someone, once upon a time, and he never quite got over losing him. Pete and Patrick dine with him now and then, and Mikey always thought Andy would be crotchety and bitter, from what everyone says about him - and Mikey’s lived there for years now, years and years, but he’s never actually held a full conversation with Andy. Gerard has, but Gerard is much friendlier than Mikey has ever been - but Andy’s really just quiet, until he isn’t; holds in his words until they spill out in non sequiturs, and that sort of thing’s not entirely unheard of from Mikey, either, so it doesn’t seem strange.
Andy talks about children having no respect for adults anymore, nor for private property - Andy’s farm has a pond, perfect for swimming, and the kids sneak into it as often as possible. From all the time they’ve spent together lately, though, Mikey suspects Andy just likes to complain about it, because he’s never witnessed Andy running any of the kids off.
Mikey feels comfortable around Andy, like they’re old friends. They smoke their pipes and watch sunsets in silence, and Mikey forgets about being alone.
*
Spencer and Jon get married on a softly bright day in late April. The ceremony is lovely and intimate and Ryan swells with pride when he sees Spencer standing before the minister in his beige linen suit, shirt buttoned all the way up to his throat, hair tucked behind his ears and cheeks so pink he looks like Patrick when he’s been out in the sun too long.
Afterwards, Ryan hugs Jon and tells him how handsome they both look, and how he better take good care of Spencer or he’ll have Ryan to answer to.
“I will love him like he’s my own,” Jon says, and Ryan eyes him askance, like Jon might be mocking this completely serious subject matter, but although his eyes are sparkling, Ryan senses he’s being nothing but truthful.
Jon has always liked Ryan. He thinks he’s a little eccentric and a little high strung, but he has nothing but the best of intentions, and he loves Spencer and Spencer loves him, so obviously he’s a good guy.
Spencer slips over and snuggles into Jon’s side and Ryan leans in for a quick peck and a squeeze of his hand. “Brendon’s looking for you,” Spencer says, and Ryan’s eyes go wide.
“Oh no,” Ryan says in dismay. “I’m wearing white.” Brendon is notorious for spilling stuff on Ryan. Spencer would think it was on purpose if he wasn’t so genuinely apologetic afterwards, but Ryan is adamant that Brendon likes to keep close to Ryan specifically to ruin all his days.
As Ryan dashes off to find a place to hide, Jon catches the ends of Spencer’s fingers and tugs him out behind Spencer’s mother’s prize rose bushes - they’re huge, leaves glossy, and the fragrance fills the whole back garden; Spencer has a bright organdy bloom from one tucked into the knot of his tie. Spencer beams at him, and Jon has never seen him so happy, and just the thought that Spencer is happy because of him, because of their budding life together, is the best feeling in the world. He slips an arm around Spencer’s waist and pulls him close and fits his mouth over his, and Spencer holds onto the lapels of his jacket and opens up underneath him.
Jon hears William call for him, then he hears a startled, “Oh!” followed by bubbling laughter that fades as William drifts away.
Spencer says, “We should go back,” against his lips.
“Later,” Jon says, pressing their foreheads together. He feels lightheaded with joy. “You are everything I’ve ever wanted, Spencer.”
Spencer’s breath catches and his lips are red and kiss-swollen and he looks beautiful and he’s his. Jon still can’t wrap his mind around that, not completely.
“When can we leave?” Spencer asks in a quiet rush, and Jon laughs.
“Soon,” he promises. “Soon.”
*
Brendon corners Ryan out in front of the house, down by the patch of orange day lilies. “Oh, Ryan Ross,” he says, hands in his pockets and grinning madly. “Where’s Keltie?”
Ryan is at least thankful he isn’t holding a cup of punch. “She couldn’t come. Her mother’s ill.” He’s not sure why he tacks that explanation on the end, since surely it isn’t any of Brendon’s business, but Brendon’s got his mischievous smile on, the one he’d always wear around Jon when they were stirring up trouble in years past.
Brendon steps closer, says, “You look nice.”
“Thank you.” Ryan straightens up to his full height. Brendon is very close now, and Ryan’s belly flips and he clasps his hands in front of his chest in an effort to distance himself without actually backing away. Brendon would surely only take retreat as a challenge.
Brendon reaches out and slips his hand over Ryan’s arm, just under his elbow, smoothes his fingers along the fabric. “Nice,” he murmurs, and when Ryan sways towards him - totally involuntarily! - Brendon’s mouth softens and he shifts on his feet and brushes his lips along Ryan’s jaw.
Ryan is stunned. His heart is pounding, and he can feel it in his throat. He’s off-balance, and he grabs for Brendon’s wrists, holding tight.
Brendon’s eyes are warm. “Ryan, I-”
“Brendon. Brendon,” Ryan says, leaning away, desperate. “Brendon, I’m asking Keltie to marry me.”
*
Brendon stops coming around to the little house Ryan shares with William, Gabe and Greta, and Ryan does not care. He doesn’t. Or he cares in the way that Brendon is - was, is, definitely is - his friend, and now he’s avoiding him and avoiding William by default, and Ryan knows that he handled the whole situation badly, but there was nothing else to do!
William gives him suspicious looks, but he doesn’t say anything.
Spencer tries to ask him about it in letters, which means that Brendon’s talked to Jon, and Ryan isn’t sure if he’s upset about that or not. He tells Spencer that it’s all very tragic, but he can’t make himself feel something he doesn’t, and that Brendon is much better off without him, anyhow.
In the two months left of his first year at college, Ryan hardly sees Brendon at all, just in passing. He misses him terribly, feels like a piece of him is missing, and he wishes they were still close. But Brendon has all the wrong ideas about him, and so maybe it’s better this way.
*
Frank and Gerard’s wedding is huge and festive, mid-summer, and everyone from at least three counties, it seems, are packed into the town square. Mikey watches the whole thing dispassionately from Gerard’s side, but only because he knows he’ll tear up if he cracks any sort of smile, and Ryan’s already crying enough for the both of them.
They exchange their vows in near-whispers, heads bent together, and the entire town cheers. Frank looks like he’s about to burst with happiness and pride.
Ryan is so happy for Gerard and Frank! He’s swiping at his cheeks and sniffling and Spencer has an arm around his waist and it feels so good to be home.
Married life seems to make Spencer glow, and he looks exactly how he always looks to Ryan - perfect - but he looks more. Like Jon is the part that makes him whole. Ryan is only slightly jealous, and not in the way he expected to be. He thought he’d be jealous that Jon has given Spencer something that Ryan never could, but instead he finds himself wistfully yearning for what Jon and Spencer have together, the adoration and love.
He never asked Keltie to marry him. It just hadn’t seemed right, whenever he tried. She’s perfect for him, but he wants that more, that spark that Spencer has with Jon.
Ryan thinks maybe he’s doomed to be alone, to forever roam the earth without his one true love.
When Brendon approaches him, it’s the first time Ryan has been near him in months. Ryan is uncharacteristically jittery, almost nervous, and he flashes a quick smile.
Brendon returns it, polite, with a nod of his head, and asks, “How are you?” in a subdued voice, tinged with affection.
Ryan pinks, because he still blames himself for their falling out, and he can’t understand why Brendon’s being so nice to him, but he’s thankful for it. “Okay,” he says. “You?”
“Good.” His eyes crinkle at the corners when he grins. “Can’t complain.”
It’s small talk and it’s awkward and nothing has ever been awkward between them before. Ryan never realized how much he depended on Brendon’s complete disregard of personal boundaries and society rules to put him at ease. “Good,” Ryan echoes.
“How’s Keltie?” Brendon asks, and Ryan wants to tell him that he’s broken it off, wants to say it didn’t quite work out for them, but he doesn’t. It seems like too much, too many words.
So he says, “Fine,” instead, and he doesn’t know if he imagines the passing shadow of sadness across Brendon’s face or not. He doesn’t know, because the next second Brendon is grinning again, and Ryan sees it in his eyes, sees it clearly, and Ryan lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, because he thinks maybe they’re going to be okay, the two of them, after all.
continues here
Ryan is homesick like crazy the first few months at college. William makes it easier. Even Brendon helps, showing up fairly regularly at the little house Ryan shares with William and Gabe and Greta.
Gabe is tall and thin and has a horrible sense of humor. He wears dark suits with purple blouses and shiny shoes and he’s more trouble even than William.
Greta is all curves and gives Ryan these wonderful hugs that strangely remind him of Gerard, and sometimes that’s good, and sometimes it makes Ryan curl up on his bed with the lights dimmed.
Brendon comes around nearly every evening and sits with Ryan and William and sometimes Greta - Greta thinks Brendon is adorably sweet and she fusses over him - and occasionally Gabe, but Gabe is a man-about-town and is almost always out with a crowd. Which is just as well, because the only thing worse than having Gabe and William in the same room is having Gabe, William and Brendon all carrying on together.
Ryan actually really enjoys Brendon’s company now. He can still be highly annoying and hyper, but he’s so familiar, and therefore so dear. They go out for ice cream, and Brendon takes up all this extra space - you wouldn’t think that, to look at him, because he hasn’t grown very much over the years - and he hooks their arms together and he makes Ryan laugh and, really, without Spencer there, Brendon is rapidly becoming Ryan’s closest friend. Not confidant, though, because Ryan could never tell everything to Brendon the way he tells Spencer. He trusts Spencer with his whole life, but Brendon’s kind of a spaz.
Ryan meets Keltie in one of his classes. She’s tiny and blonde and lovely and she makes Ryan’s heart race and he’s pretty sure he’s in love with her. He tells as much to William, sprawled across his bed, and William frowns down at him.
“What about Brendon?” he asks, and Ryan furrows his brow in confusion.
“What about him?”
“Ryan, you.” William sits down next to Ryan and pats his hand. “Ryan, you can’t not know he’s in love with you.”
Ryan blinks. “Huh?”
“Brendon’s in love with you! He’s been in love with you for forever.”
“He has not,” Ryan protests, because he’s sure he would have noticed that.
“You cuddle on the sofa!” William sounds pissed, and Ryan has actually never seen William pissed before.
And they do cuddle, but it’s more like Brendon curls up into his side and nuzzles in until Ryan obligingly wraps an arm around him, and maybe pets or scratches the back of his neck while they read a while by lamplight, but.
“I can’t.” Ryan presses a hand over his mouth. Oh, this is horrible. Brendon is. Brendon is so special, but Ryan is in love with Keltie! “I didn’t mean,” Ryan whispers. “William, what am I going to do?”
“Talk to Brendon,” William says, nodding sagely.
William, of course, thinks Ryan is making a terrible mistake, because Brendon is his perfect match in every way, and he worships Ryan, always has, and they were meant for each other and everything, but he isn’t going to push. He wouldn’t have said anything at all about it, but he can see the whole thing ending in a huge mess, and William likes messes, he honestly does, but he’s not like Gabe. He doesn’t like hurtful messes, and he doesn’t think having Brendon’s heart break is funny, and he just hopes Ryan is gentle with him.
*
Spencer sends letters constantly about all that is going on at home, and how the wedding plans are coming along and he says how much he misses Ryan and wishes he were there and how he wishes Ryan wasn’t so far away, but that he’s sure he’s having grand adventures without him. Jon always tacks on a line or two at the bottom, a hello and wish-you-well, and Ryan can picture Jon’s handsome face and pleasant smile.
Ryan writes Spencer about his classes and the gang - William and Gabe and Greta and Brendon, and Keltie now, and Nicky and Tyson, Brendon’s housemates - and he writes about how perfect Keltie is, how refined and darling, and he tells Spencer nearly everything, but he doesn’t tell him about that night, when he sat next to Brendon and told him about Keltie, and how he said, “We’re friends, right?” in a completely cowardly move - William doesn’t know about it, either, because Ryan’s certain he’d be beyond upset at how Ryan addressed the whole Brendon-in-love-with-him issue - and how Brendon’s face had faltered for the barest second, pale skin and deep, dark eyes, before he nodded and smiled so hard, and if the smile didn’t quite spread past his mouth, well, Ryan never mentioned it.
*
Even though Gerard told Frank yes - and Frank will remember that moment forever, when Gerard showed up at his door and took his face in his hands and said, “Yes, Frank, yes, I’ll marry you,” after Frank had been quaking with nerves for nearly an hour - he refuses to marry him right away. It’s Ryan’s first year away from home, and Gerard doesn’t want to leave Mikey alone, doesn’t want it to seem like they’re all abandoning him at once.
Mikey’s thankful for this, he is, but there are times he feels like an intruder in his own house, stumbling on Frank and Gerard and secret whispers in the parlor, on the porch swing, out back under the old oak. Sometimes he thinks it would be easier if Gerard just moved on.
Mikey’s taken to visiting Andy. Andy has weird views on the world. He sits on his front porch and smokes and taps out rhythms with his thick-soled boots. He lives by himself, although Pete says he had someone, once upon a time, and he never quite got over losing him. Pete and Patrick dine with him now and then, and Mikey always thought Andy would be crotchety and bitter, from what everyone says about him - and Mikey’s lived there for years now, years and years, but he’s never actually held a full conversation with Andy. Gerard has, but Gerard is much friendlier than Mikey has ever been - but Andy’s really just quiet, until he isn’t; holds in his words until they spill out in non sequiturs, and that sort of thing’s not entirely unheard of from Mikey, either, so it doesn’t seem strange.
Andy talks about children having no respect for adults anymore, nor for private property - Andy’s farm has a pond, perfect for swimming, and the kids sneak into it as often as possible. From all the time they’ve spent together lately, though, Mikey suspects Andy just likes to complain about it, because he’s never witnessed Andy running any of the kids off.
Mikey feels comfortable around Andy, like they’re old friends. They smoke their pipes and watch sunsets in silence, and Mikey forgets about being alone.
*
Spencer and Jon get married on a softly bright day in late April. The ceremony is lovely and intimate and Ryan swells with pride when he sees Spencer standing before the minister in his beige linen suit, shirt buttoned all the way up to his throat, hair tucked behind his ears and cheeks so pink he looks like Patrick when he’s been out in the sun too long.
Afterwards, Ryan hugs Jon and tells him how handsome they both look, and how he better take good care of Spencer or he’ll have Ryan to answer to.
“I will love him like he’s my own,” Jon says, and Ryan eyes him askance, like Jon might be mocking this completely serious subject matter, but although his eyes are sparkling, Ryan senses he’s being nothing but truthful.
Jon has always liked Ryan. He thinks he’s a little eccentric and a little high strung, but he has nothing but the best of intentions, and he loves Spencer and Spencer loves him, so obviously he’s a good guy.
Spencer slips over and snuggles into Jon’s side and Ryan leans in for a quick peck and a squeeze of his hand. “Brendon’s looking for you,” Spencer says, and Ryan’s eyes go wide.
“Oh no,” Ryan says in dismay. “I’m wearing white.” Brendon is notorious for spilling stuff on Ryan. Spencer would think it was on purpose if he wasn’t so genuinely apologetic afterwards, but Ryan is adamant that Brendon likes to keep close to Ryan specifically to ruin all his days.
As Ryan dashes off to find a place to hide, Jon catches the ends of Spencer’s fingers and tugs him out behind Spencer’s mother’s prize rose bushes - they’re huge, leaves glossy, and the fragrance fills the whole back garden; Spencer has a bright organdy bloom from one tucked into the knot of his tie. Spencer beams at him, and Jon has never seen him so happy, and just the thought that Spencer is happy because of him, because of their budding life together, is the best feeling in the world. He slips an arm around Spencer’s waist and pulls him close and fits his mouth over his, and Spencer holds onto the lapels of his jacket and opens up underneath him.
Jon hears William call for him, then he hears a startled, “Oh!” followed by bubbling laughter that fades as William drifts away.
Spencer says, “We should go back,” against his lips.
“Later,” Jon says, pressing their foreheads together. He feels lightheaded with joy. “You are everything I’ve ever wanted, Spencer.”
Spencer’s breath catches and his lips are red and kiss-swollen and he looks beautiful and he’s his. Jon still can’t wrap his mind around that, not completely.
“When can we leave?” Spencer asks in a quiet rush, and Jon laughs.
“Soon,” he promises. “Soon.”
*
Brendon corners Ryan out in front of the house, down by the patch of orange day lilies. “Oh, Ryan Ross,” he says, hands in his pockets and grinning madly. “Where’s Keltie?”
Ryan is at least thankful he isn’t holding a cup of punch. “She couldn’t come. Her mother’s ill.” He’s not sure why he tacks that explanation on the end, since surely it isn’t any of Brendon’s business, but Brendon’s got his mischievous smile on, the one he’d always wear around Jon when they were stirring up trouble in years past.
Brendon steps closer, says, “You look nice.”
“Thank you.” Ryan straightens up to his full height. Brendon is very close now, and Ryan’s belly flips and he clasps his hands in front of his chest in an effort to distance himself without actually backing away. Brendon would surely only take retreat as a challenge.
Brendon reaches out and slips his hand over Ryan’s arm, just under his elbow, smoothes his fingers along the fabric. “Nice,” he murmurs, and when Ryan sways towards him - totally involuntarily! - Brendon’s mouth softens and he shifts on his feet and brushes his lips along Ryan’s jaw.
Ryan is stunned. His heart is pounding, and he can feel it in his throat. He’s off-balance, and he grabs for Brendon’s wrists, holding tight.
Brendon’s eyes are warm. “Ryan, I-”
“Brendon. Brendon,” Ryan says, leaning away, desperate. “Brendon, I’m asking Keltie to marry me.”
*
Brendon stops coming around to the little house Ryan shares with William, Gabe and Greta, and Ryan does not care. He doesn’t. Or he cares in the way that Brendon is - was, is, definitely is - his friend, and now he’s avoiding him and avoiding William by default, and Ryan knows that he handled the whole situation badly, but there was nothing else to do!
William gives him suspicious looks, but he doesn’t say anything.
Spencer tries to ask him about it in letters, which means that Brendon’s talked to Jon, and Ryan isn’t sure if he’s upset about that or not. He tells Spencer that it’s all very tragic, but he can’t make himself feel something he doesn’t, and that Brendon is much better off without him, anyhow.
In the two months left of his first year at college, Ryan hardly sees Brendon at all, just in passing. He misses him terribly, feels like a piece of him is missing, and he wishes they were still close. But Brendon has all the wrong ideas about him, and so maybe it’s better this way.
*
Frank and Gerard’s wedding is huge and festive, mid-summer, and everyone from at least three counties, it seems, are packed into the town square. Mikey watches the whole thing dispassionately from Gerard’s side, but only because he knows he’ll tear up if he cracks any sort of smile, and Ryan’s already crying enough for the both of them.
They exchange their vows in near-whispers, heads bent together, and the entire town cheers. Frank looks like he’s about to burst with happiness and pride.
Ryan is so happy for Gerard and Frank! He’s swiping at his cheeks and sniffling and Spencer has an arm around his waist and it feels so good to be home.
Married life seems to make Spencer glow, and he looks exactly how he always looks to Ryan - perfect - but he looks more. Like Jon is the part that makes him whole. Ryan is only slightly jealous, and not in the way he expected to be. He thought he’d be jealous that Jon has given Spencer something that Ryan never could, but instead he finds himself wistfully yearning for what Jon and Spencer have together, the adoration and love.
He never asked Keltie to marry him. It just hadn’t seemed right, whenever he tried. She’s perfect for him, but he wants that more, that spark that Spencer has with Jon.
Ryan thinks maybe he’s doomed to be alone, to forever roam the earth without his one true love.
When Brendon approaches him, it’s the first time Ryan has been near him in months. Ryan is uncharacteristically jittery, almost nervous, and he flashes a quick smile.
Brendon returns it, polite, with a nod of his head, and asks, “How are you?” in a subdued voice, tinged with affection.
Ryan pinks, because he still blames himself for their falling out, and he can’t understand why Brendon’s being so nice to him, but he’s thankful for it. “Okay,” he says. “You?”
“Good.” His eyes crinkle at the corners when he grins. “Can’t complain.”
It’s small talk and it’s awkward and nothing has ever been awkward between them before. Ryan never realized how much he depended on Brendon’s complete disregard of personal boundaries and society rules to put him at ease. “Good,” Ryan echoes.
“How’s Keltie?” Brendon asks, and Ryan wants to tell him that he’s broken it off, wants to say it didn’t quite work out for them, but he doesn’t. It seems like too much, too many words.
So he says, “Fine,” instead, and he doesn’t know if he imagines the passing shadow of sadness across Brendon’s face or not. He doesn’t know, because the next second Brendon is grinning again, and Ryan sees it in his eyes, sees it clearly, and Ryan lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, because he thinks maybe they’re going to be okay, the two of them, after all.
continues here