sigh..
i feel terrible and i dont know why. i've talked to james and ami about this a bit, so what i say here might be a bit of a repeat for them.
the feeling is hard to describe. i feel like i'm missing something. its not necessarily anything physical. it seems more like i feel like i've finally discovered that i have no purpose. no aim in life. now if i were to say that to someone at church they'd give me some lame ass speech about going on a mission. blah blah blah. i sometimes wonder what i'm going to do after school. i wonder why i even go to school. sure, people say that if you dont go to college then you wont get a good job, but i'll probably out of there with hardly any more knowledge than i have now. i'm sure that the majority of the younger generation (out generation) are way smarter than the majority of the older generation (our parents generation and such). but this is a bit off subject. i dont know what else there really is to say about how i feel. i just barely started feeling this way. i feel like everyone is mad at me or disappointed in me for some reason. when something doesnt go as i think it should or someone doesnt do something i'd expect then it affects me more than usual and its driving me crazy. everyone is going to say that they're not mad at me and bla bla bla. are you mad at me? why? its a terrible feeling when you think that somone is mad at you and you dont know why. if you do know why then at least you can feel guilty and not aggravated because you dont know why. i'd prefer guilty over aggravated.
well i'm done with this. yet another useless update.
i feel disconnected from the world.
the feeling is hard to describe. i feel like i'm missing something. its not necessarily anything physical. it seems more like i feel like i've finally discovered that i have no purpose. no aim in life. now if i were to say that to someone at church they'd give me some lame ass speech about going on a mission. blah blah blah. i sometimes wonder what i'm going to do after school. i wonder why i even go to school. sure, people say that if you dont go to college then you wont get a good job, but i'll probably out of there with hardly any more knowledge than i have now. i'm sure that the majority of the younger generation (out generation) are way smarter than the majority of the older generation (our parents generation and such). but this is a bit off subject. i dont know what else there really is to say about how i feel. i just barely started feeling this way. i feel like everyone is mad at me or disappointed in me for some reason. when something doesnt go as i think it should or someone doesnt do something i'd expect then it affects me more than usual and its driving me crazy. everyone is going to say that they're not mad at me and bla bla bla. are you mad at me? why? its a terrible feeling when you think that somone is mad at you and you dont know why. if you do know why then at least you can feel guilty and not aggravated because you dont know why. i'd prefer guilty over aggravated.
well i'm done with this. yet another useless update.
i feel disconnected from the world.