Lids
Let me tell you about beverage lids.
Some people will tell you that they’re made of plastic or metal, that they’re usually round, and that they provide an airtight seal for the contents within a given container to be carried safely.
These things are true. However, my lid designs don’t end there. They merely begin there.
I believe that the relationship between receptacle and cover goes far, far beyond simple ergonomics. It surpasses mere physics or fluid dynamics. The world’s top coffee chain has employed me to provide them with a lid that is not only capable, but excellent. It is to be the pinnacle of hot or cold refreshment safety restraint. I take my job seriously.
The history of the lid is a long and varied one. The clay pots of the Egyptians and the possible mystical significance of their thick lids having circumferences equal to the square root of the pyramids’ hypotenuses, for instance. Take the long-term screwtop two-piece rubber-sealers of the canning era. The cloth-and-band permeable jam napkins of the so-called ‘preserve rebellion’. The revolutionary Dupont plastic compartment candy containers that still haunt us. I don’t believe I even need to mention the historic effect of the slurpee dome or the sippy cup.
I have done away with any idea of a straw. Such things are of no consequence to me. I am a purist.
I believe in a special dance of harmony, synergy and composition resting in those few molecules between the cup and the cap. I believe in a perfect golden ratio that will allow any human lips to sense the temperature of a drink before the risk of a burning tongue or a brain freeze can even enter the equation.
I know that I may court controversy from my peers when I proclaim this, but also I believe in a stepped cooling flange that, while pleasing to the eye, will also keep the top of the liquid at a stable temperature in comparison to the rest whether it be hot or cold. All of you ‘to-go’ engineers may scoff but I assure that I not only have a working prototype, I have a model about to put on the assembly lines.
My designs go into production on Monday at over sixteen hundred factories. They will herald a new age of hot chocolate and cold frappuccinos. Espressos will be perfected, coffee will know a golden era only hinted at before, and in this glorious future, even decaf will be tolerated.
I believe that every cup is a chalice. I will give each one a crown.
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Some people will tell you that they’re made of plastic or metal, that they’re usually round, and that they provide an airtight seal for the contents within a given container to be carried safely.
These things are true. However, my lid designs don’t end there. They merely begin there.
I believe that the relationship between receptacle and cover goes far, far beyond simple ergonomics. It surpasses mere physics or fluid dynamics. The world’s top coffee chain has employed me to provide them with a lid that is not only capable, but excellent. It is to be the pinnacle of hot or cold refreshment safety restraint. I take my job seriously.
The history of the lid is a long and varied one. The clay pots of the Egyptians and the possible mystical significance of their thick lids having circumferences equal to the square root of the pyramids’ hypotenuses, for instance. Take the long-term screwtop two-piece rubber-sealers of the canning era. The cloth-and-band permeable jam napkins of the so-called ‘preserve rebellion’. The revolutionary Dupont plastic compartment candy containers that still haunt us. I don’t believe I even need to mention the historic effect of the slurpee dome or the sippy cup.
I have done away with any idea of a straw. Such things are of no consequence to me. I am a purist.
I believe in a special dance of harmony, synergy and composition resting in those few molecules between the cup and the cap. I believe in a perfect golden ratio that will allow any human lips to sense the temperature of a drink before the risk of a burning tongue or a brain freeze can even enter the equation.
I know that I may court controversy from my peers when I proclaim this, but also I believe in a stepped cooling flange that, while pleasing to the eye, will also keep the top of the liquid at a stable temperature in comparison to the rest whether it be hot or cold. All of you ‘to-go’ engineers may scoff but I assure that I not only have a working prototype, I have a model about to put on the assembly lines.
My designs go into production on Monday at over sixteen hundred factories. They will herald a new age of hot chocolate and cold frappuccinos. Espressos will be perfected, coffee will know a golden era only hinted at before, and in this glorious future, even decaf will be tolerated.
I believe that every cup is a chalice. I will give each one a crown.
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