(no subject)
So summer has been pretty overwhelming and depressing for a variety of reasons (lack of overarching school dictation, crazy costs for moving into sweet new place and throwing sweet barbeques, getting my bike stolen, unrequited fleeting attractions, other friends being depressed).
It's also been pretty fantastic for a variety of reasons (freedom and energy to work on multiple random projects of my choosing, becoming a contractor for Ravenchase Adventures, feeling amazing from detoxing and swimming at the YMCA, working on some experimental music, working on completely unexperimental bluegrass music, moving into new place, throwing sweet barbeques, other friends being not depressed)...
So it's basically been a pretty bipolar summer. Which is typical. But the past week especially has been pretty shitty.
However, there was really just *one* thing missing in my life that was by far the most devastating. I didn't have any *one* thing to pour all of my energy into. Something epic or Homeric. Something Kierkegaardian, but without the Jesus. Something like Zidane's headbutt, which definitely (seriously!) changed my life (but only because of it's correlation with my reading of MacIntyre's book After Virtue). Just one stellar, undeniable commitment to *one* thing.
I assumed this would have to be a serious relationship or some kind of confucian thing, but I was mistaken. So I realized this today at the very moment that I remedied the situation by making an insane dedication that's going to have to change my lifestyle for a few months.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but at the very moment I made said decision I almost welled up with tears. I felt completely overjoyed for making a bold, expensive, and impractical move that would require my utmost patience, love, and determination (to an extent far greater than any of the other various not-*one* projects my life is geared towards).
So what was it?
Not a job, not school, not any authority whatsoever.
I made a commitment to
http://www.schwinnbike.com/products/bikes_detail.php?id=607
(there are a variety of reasons why this decision was so important that i will go into at some other time)
And fuck all of you crack-head bicycle theives, you'll never stop me from living the lifestyle I want to live at any cost(=passion).
~Joshua
It's also been pretty fantastic for a variety of reasons (freedom and energy to work on multiple random projects of my choosing, becoming a contractor for Ravenchase Adventures, feeling amazing from detoxing and swimming at the YMCA, working on some experimental music, working on completely unexperimental bluegrass music, moving into new place, throwing sweet barbeques, other friends being not depressed)...
So it's basically been a pretty bipolar summer. Which is typical. But the past week especially has been pretty shitty.
However, there was really just *one* thing missing in my life that was by far the most devastating. I didn't have any *one* thing to pour all of my energy into. Something epic or Homeric. Something Kierkegaardian, but without the Jesus. Something like Zidane's headbutt, which definitely (seriously!) changed my life (but only because of it's correlation with my reading of MacIntyre's book After Virtue). Just one stellar, undeniable commitment to *one* thing.
I assumed this would have to be a serious relationship or some kind of confucian thing, but I was mistaken. So I realized this today at the very moment that I remedied the situation by making an insane dedication that's going to have to change my lifestyle for a few months.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but at the very moment I made said decision I almost welled up with tears. I felt completely overjoyed for making a bold, expensive, and impractical move that would require my utmost patience, love, and determination (to an extent far greater than any of the other various not-*one* projects my life is geared towards).
So what was it?
Not a job, not school, not any authority whatsoever.
I made a commitment to
http://www.schwinnbike.com/products/bikes_detail.php?id=607
(there are a variety of reasons why this decision was so important that i will go into at some other time)
And fuck all of you crack-head bicycle theives, you'll never stop me from living the lifestyle I want to live at any cost(=passion).
~Joshua