really upset
i havent updated this in a really long time for reasons...
everything was going fine, i was happy he was happy then things went down, meghan and i got in a fight, me and chris on a break. he thinks its for the better, but to me it feels like its pulling us appart. Each day feels like 3 put into 1. i told him i was in love with him and it came from emotion, i didnt mean it but it freaked him out. i miss everything we've done, i miss being able to to stuff, and hang out. everything just feels so awkward. it just feels like everything is falling appart all at once. idk how to tell him and idk wat to say. i try and think of it as he's on vacation, but it doesnt feel like that. i just wish that on this break i could still hug him, that i could still kiss him and be there for him. idk how to be there for him now that we're on the break. i just want to be there for him so bad, i want to help and i cant bc it stress; him out. i want to go through this with him, but i cant, its killing me, and pulling me into all sorts of directions, monday night and last night i cried myself to sleep and i probably will tonight too. and idk how long this may last, but this wait is going to make me want to die. just having it go by so slow as it is and having to wait even longer. i just dont kno. if anyone has advice or just anything to say, please post something.
i miss you.... :'(
everything was going fine, i was happy he was happy then things went down, meghan and i got in a fight, me and chris on a break. he thinks its for the better, but to me it feels like its pulling us appart. Each day feels like 3 put into 1. i told him i was in love with him and it came from emotion, i didnt mean it but it freaked him out. i miss everything we've done, i miss being able to to stuff, and hang out. everything just feels so awkward. it just feels like everything is falling appart all at once. idk how to tell him and idk wat to say. i try and think of it as he's on vacation, but it doesnt feel like that. i just wish that on this break i could still hug him, that i could still kiss him and be there for him. idk how to be there for him now that we're on the break. i just want to be there for him so bad, i want to help and i cant bc it stress; him out. i want to go through this with him, but i cant, its killing me, and pulling me into all sorts of directions, monday night and last night i cried myself to sleep and i probably will tonight too. and idk how long this may last, but this wait is going to make me want to die. just having it go by so slow as it is and having to wait even longer. i just dont kno. if anyone has advice or just anything to say, please post something.
i miss you.... :'(