Scars and stitches always fade....
Have you ever hung out with people that just make you feel like shit? If they're members of the same sex, then they're the ones that get all of the attention, and nobody pays any attention to you. Or, if you're with a member of the opposite sex, they comment about the chicks/dudes that are wicked hot? Notice how it hurts even more when the person they're drooling over is absolutely nothing like you?
I do.
It makes me think, "So they like the kind of person who is nothing like me. So in order to make a person like them like me, I have to change who I am. I have to change everything I stand for. I have to change what I like, who I hang out with, and what I do."
Fuck that.
I hate not being able to tell someone how I feel just because it will make a situation awkward. I hate risking a friendship because of harmless feelings.
That's why I've had no choice but to ignore those feelings.
I've done a lot of thinking over the weekend. It has done me so much good. I feel better about myself. I feel sad that the friendship that we have created over the past month or so doesn't mean as much to me as it did, but I'm glad that I don't constantly feel like shit because of both of the reasons listed above. I feel reassured that, no matter what, I can remain myself, and I don't really care about the outcome of our friendship.
I am glad that I hung out with the people that I hung out with tonight. None of them strike me as the kind of person who would think less of me because I say the word "cunt," or because I spit, or because I don't dress to impress.
I'm glad I didn't have to put on an act.
I'm glad I didn't have to step on anyone's toes just to get an ounce of their attention.
Ty, Craig, and CJ (amongst the others) are three of the most genuine people I have met at school.
They don't show off.
They aren't constantly trying to be better than everyone.
They don't try to show eachother up.
They don't talk about their amazing feats.
I think I'm even going to play on their dodgeball team.
I need a change.
This is the change I need.
I think I need to ride.
I need a new coach.
Or maybe I need to be my own coach.
If I do it, I'm doing it for myself, not because someone is telling me to.
The Wa-Wa crew is the only one who knows how we do it.
God, I feel so good right now.
I'm happier than I have been in awhile.
They were the thorn in my side.
It's not like I don't want to hang out with them...
It's just reassuring that there are people out there like me...
Sick.
Okay, I'm going to bed now.
Sweet dreams
Sleep late
Liz
I do.
It makes me think, "So they like the kind of person who is nothing like me. So in order to make a person like them like me, I have to change who I am. I have to change everything I stand for. I have to change what I like, who I hang out with, and what I do."
Fuck that.
I hate not being able to tell someone how I feel just because it will make a situation awkward. I hate risking a friendship because of harmless feelings.
That's why I've had no choice but to ignore those feelings.
I've done a lot of thinking over the weekend. It has done me so much good. I feel better about myself. I feel sad that the friendship that we have created over the past month or so doesn't mean as much to me as it did, but I'm glad that I don't constantly feel like shit because of both of the reasons listed above. I feel reassured that, no matter what, I can remain myself, and I don't really care about the outcome of our friendship.
I am glad that I hung out with the people that I hung out with tonight. None of them strike me as the kind of person who would think less of me because I say the word "cunt," or because I spit, or because I don't dress to impress.
I'm glad I didn't have to put on an act.
I'm glad I didn't have to step on anyone's toes just to get an ounce of their attention.
Ty, Craig, and CJ (amongst the others) are three of the most genuine people I have met at school.
They don't show off.
They aren't constantly trying to be better than everyone.
They don't try to show eachother up.
They don't talk about their amazing feats.
I think I'm even going to play on their dodgeball team.
I need a change.
This is the change I need.
I think I need to ride.
I need a new coach.
Or maybe I need to be my own coach.
If I do it, I'm doing it for myself, not because someone is telling me to.
The Wa-Wa crew is the only one who knows how we do it.
God, I feel so good right now.
I'm happier than I have been in awhile.
They were the thorn in my side.
It's not like I don't want to hang out with them...
It's just reassuring that there are people out there like me...
Sick.
Okay, I'm going to bed now.
Sweet dreams
Sleep late
Liz