sometimes, the universe gives you little presents.
something truly magical happened to me tonight. i was just living my life, minding my own business, when i get a text message.
"its jango why r u txting elena soo much"
now, i don't know who the fuck jango or elena are, and i certainly haven't been texting either of them.
but they don't know that.
and i saw no reason to tell them.
so i didn't. and then this happened.
i give you: Masterpiece Text Message Theatre.
(i apologize in advance for the use of textspeak. i had to get into character, you know.)
me: Why do u care?
him: bcuz she is my gf!
me: That's not what she told me
him: sulli i will kick ur butt [editor's note: before now i thought jango had been texting an unknown number he'd found in his girlfriend's cell phone, but apparently it was just a case of misdialing! he thinks he's talking to an actual acquaintance!]
me: Why u mad at me u should keep your girl in line
me: She told me you werent talking no more
him: keep my girl in line wtf she told me whaat u said plus u should have lower standards [editor's note: lower standards? what does this even mean?]
him: 2 who
me: Whatever she said shes lying. You know she's a liar cuz of what happened last month [editor's note: this cracked my shit up like no other. i am fucking hilarious]
me: 2 u
him: what happened
him: what
me: u need to ask her. She told me she told you
him: just tell me
me: No she said she was gonna tell you shell be pissed at me if i tell you. You should hear it from her anyway
me: I cant believe she lied to me and said she told you [editor's note: i keep forgetting to type "u" instead of "you!" hope it doesn't give me away!]
him: sull!
him: mayb she did idk tell me!
me: im not getting involved besides youll just get mad at her
him: tell me now
me: look im not gonna snitch so just ask her
me: U dont trust her to tell you the truth do you? I dont blame u
him: like u have a chance u suck butt
me: Yeah ok u just keep telling urself that
me: if I don't have a chance why is elena telling me u 2 arent talking
him: fu pussy wait till football [editor's note: oh shit these people are in high school. and i am twenty-eight years old. THIS IS EVEN MORE HILARIOUS THAN ORIGINALLY THOUGHT]
him: u no what wait till next time i cu
him: talking 2 who
me: 2 u. She said she wasnt talking 2 u anymore
me: Am i supposed to be scared
him: idk u will c if u should
me: Id love to see you try sumthin the next time i see u. U will be sorry
him: ok chubby well c
me: it dont even matter cuz im still gonna text elena and shes still gonna like it and it dont change the fact that she lied to u about it
him: ok she is prob bein nice b cuz that is the only girl u ever talk 2 grow a pair
me: Yes she is very nice to me if u know what i mean
him: ya like ur mom was 2 me
me: Thats weak u cant even come up with sumthin good. Yeah talk about my mom she dont care but ill keep talkin about elena cuz thats real
me: Your girl dont call me chubby. Ask her what she calls me
Then there were three blank messages.
me: Why u sending me blank messages
him: this is jangos brother quit txtin my fone
me: why u mad at me tell him to get off ur fone
him: quit txtin my phone
me: Quit txtin mine
apparently he did because i haven't gotten any since then.
i was literally. rolling. on the ground. with laughter.
i should probably be worried about sulli y/n?
"its jango why r u txting elena soo much"
now, i don't know who the fuck jango or elena are, and i certainly haven't been texting either of them.
but they don't know that.
and i saw no reason to tell them.
so i didn't. and then this happened.
i give you: Masterpiece Text Message Theatre.
(i apologize in advance for the use of textspeak. i had to get into character, you know.)
me: Why do u care?
him: bcuz she is my gf!
me: That's not what she told me
him: sulli i will kick ur butt [editor's note: before now i thought jango had been texting an unknown number he'd found in his girlfriend's cell phone, but apparently it was just a case of misdialing! he thinks he's talking to an actual acquaintance!]
me: Why u mad at me u should keep your girl in line
me: She told me you werent talking no more
him: keep my girl in line wtf she told me whaat u said plus u should have lower standards [editor's note: lower standards? what does this even mean?]
him: 2 who
me: Whatever she said shes lying. You know she's a liar cuz of what happened last month [editor's note: this cracked my shit up like no other. i am fucking hilarious]
me: 2 u
him: what happened
him: what
me: u need to ask her. She told me she told you
him: just tell me
me: No she said she was gonna tell you shell be pissed at me if i tell you. You should hear it from her anyway
me: I cant believe she lied to me and said she told you [editor's note: i keep forgetting to type "u" instead of "you!" hope it doesn't give me away!]
him: sull!
him: mayb she did idk tell me!
me: im not getting involved besides youll just get mad at her
him: tell me now
me: look im not gonna snitch so just ask her
me: U dont trust her to tell you the truth do you? I dont blame u
him: like u have a chance u suck butt
me: Yeah ok u just keep telling urself that
me: if I don't have a chance why is elena telling me u 2 arent talking
him: fu pussy wait till football [editor's note: oh shit these people are in high school. and i am twenty-eight years old. THIS IS EVEN MORE HILARIOUS THAN ORIGINALLY THOUGHT]
him: u no what wait till next time i cu
him: talking 2 who
me: 2 u. She said she wasnt talking 2 u anymore
me: Am i supposed to be scared
him: idk u will c if u should
me: Id love to see you try sumthin the next time i see u. U will be sorry
him: ok chubby well c
me: it dont even matter cuz im still gonna text elena and shes still gonna like it and it dont change the fact that she lied to u about it
him: ok she is prob bein nice b cuz that is the only girl u ever talk 2 grow a pair
me: Yes she is very nice to me if u know what i mean
him: ya like ur mom was 2 me
me: Thats weak u cant even come up with sumthin good. Yeah talk about my mom she dont care but ill keep talkin about elena cuz thats real
me: Your girl dont call me chubby. Ask her what she calls me
Then there were three blank messages.
me: Why u sending me blank messages
him: this is jangos brother quit txtin my fone
me: why u mad at me tell him to get off ur fone
him: quit txtin my phone
me: Quit txtin mine
apparently he did because i haven't gotten any since then.
i was literally. rolling. on the ground. with laughter.
i should probably be worried about sulli y/n?