like a rolling stone
oh god, i don't even know where to start.
i'm back in new york. i'm currently staying on a couch in brooklyn belonging to a former resident of mine from william street.
i've only been here a couple of days, but already i see that three years can be forever. zen palate is no longer on union square (nathan and i found it lurking on 46th street. crisis averted). there was no cloud of smoky students in front of 65 w 5th. also the awning is gone. and i went into murray's and asked for a spinach bagel, and they were like "we've never had spinach bagels." oh yes you did, i said. i used to just walk in there and they'd get me a spinach bagel and lentil soup without me even saying anything. LUCKILY they still had the lentil soup or i may have packed up and gone home to cincinnati.
part of me still wants to pack up and go home. i've only been staying in someone else's space for two days, and i'm already freaking out. i really, really need my own space. not saying the space i'm in isn't great. it's a really chill house filled with four delightful people and there are cats! and a patio and a roof! and it's literally across the street from a subway stop that goes right to NYU.
but it isn't MINE. i don't have my own space. i don't have a wall to hang the subway map. i don't have a kitchen to fill with my groceries. all of my stuff is still packed and will remain so for at least two weeks. i want to cry every time i think about it.
what i want to do, very badly, is get my own apartment. without roommates. if i can swing a massage job, then i will probably be able to afford it. just a little tiny place near some kind of subway is all i really need.
but what will probably happen is i will end up with at least one, more likely two or three.
fuck, man. i love this city, i love this opportunity, but at this exact moment i am really fucking miserable. i know it could be a lot worse, but i want it to be a lot better.
i did some groceries today and that made me feel better. it always makes me feel better to do groceries. it makes me feel like i'm able to take care of myself. which is a hard feeling to come by these days.
my plan is to get a student loan for at least nine thousand dollars, use that to get an apartment and pay rent until i get a job. the plan for the job is to take the national boards so i can get the national massage license and do massage on the weekends.
the problem with my plans are that they all take a lot of time. the loan will take at least two weeks. the massage license will probably take a month for the application to go through, and then i have to fly home to ohio to take it. i don't know if i can handle it.
i have all this other stuff i want to post about but this is occupying most of my brainspace. i've been thinking of doing a post-a-thon to make up for my months of sparse posting. maybe every day in october. hopefully i'll have a space by then. oh shit i better have a space by then.
i'm back in new york. i'm currently staying on a couch in brooklyn belonging to a former resident of mine from william street.
i've only been here a couple of days, but already i see that three years can be forever. zen palate is no longer on union square (nathan and i found it lurking on 46th street. crisis averted). there was no cloud of smoky students in front of 65 w 5th. also the awning is gone. and i went into murray's and asked for a spinach bagel, and they were like "we've never had spinach bagels." oh yes you did, i said. i used to just walk in there and they'd get me a spinach bagel and lentil soup without me even saying anything. LUCKILY they still had the lentil soup or i may have packed up and gone home to cincinnati.
part of me still wants to pack up and go home. i've only been staying in someone else's space for two days, and i'm already freaking out. i really, really need my own space. not saying the space i'm in isn't great. it's a really chill house filled with four delightful people and there are cats! and a patio and a roof! and it's literally across the street from a subway stop that goes right to NYU.
but it isn't MINE. i don't have my own space. i don't have a wall to hang the subway map. i don't have a kitchen to fill with my groceries. all of my stuff is still packed and will remain so for at least two weeks. i want to cry every time i think about it.
what i want to do, very badly, is get my own apartment. without roommates. if i can swing a massage job, then i will probably be able to afford it. just a little tiny place near some kind of subway is all i really need.
but what will probably happen is i will end up with at least one, more likely two or three.
fuck, man. i love this city, i love this opportunity, but at this exact moment i am really fucking miserable. i know it could be a lot worse, but i want it to be a lot better.
i did some groceries today and that made me feel better. it always makes me feel better to do groceries. it makes me feel like i'm able to take care of myself. which is a hard feeling to come by these days.
my plan is to get a student loan for at least nine thousand dollars, use that to get an apartment and pay rent until i get a job. the plan for the job is to take the national boards so i can get the national massage license and do massage on the weekends.
the problem with my plans are that they all take a lot of time. the loan will take at least two weeks. the massage license will probably take a month for the application to go through, and then i have to fly home to ohio to take it. i don't know if i can handle it.
i have all this other stuff i want to post about but this is occupying most of my brainspace. i've been thinking of doing a post-a-thon to make up for my months of sparse posting. maybe every day in october. hopefully i'll have a space by then. oh shit i better have a space by then.