Gritty Reboots #3 "Uncharted"
Captain Jonas Grimby ( Paul Sorveno) is a wreck of a man. Captain and owner of the Minoa, an ex US Navy PT boat converted to charter service. Grimby knew the pain of post traumatic stress , though the term had not been invented yet. In his horrific time as a Marine in the Pacific he had seen friends missing their faces, dismembered, tortured, killed by fungal infections, dysentery, and driven insane by war. His medals are half buried like his squad members in the forgotten grave of a drawer in his disheveled trailer near the pier. He is wracked with guilt for surviving what so many didn't. His drinking had nearly cost him his captain's ticket in the past. Any new incident could beach him. This self-loathing anglily surfaces again and again as he coral that stranded his passengers on the uncharted island but he knows where the fault lies.. An island, so much like Guadalcanal that he can still smell the rotting corpses and the taunting shouts of the Japs. Is it his nightmares, or his interminable malaria that wakes him up sweating at night?
Thurston Howell III (Samuel Jackson)The nation's first black multi-billionaire. He clawed his way up from slums of Detroit to start his own hair-care products line. Soon he controlled a country-wide empire including restaurants, manufacturing, broadcasting stations, and his own brand of plant mulch. He is hated as much for his success as for his explosive temper. He tends to call his wife, Eunice "lovey" when she is nearby. To his inner circle he calls her "That mother-fucking bitch".
Eunice "that mother-fucking bitch" Howell ( Darryl Hanna ) Once a beauty queen and mild mannered trophy wife, she had gradually adopted her husband's barbed tongue and overbearing ways in simple self-defense.
Trapped in the loveless prison of her marriage, she realizes that she has servants but no real friends. She is searching for a way to leave him, but knows that he will not take that well. She daydreamed frequentlyof pushing him into the jagged mouth of a convenient shark.
Ginger Grant (Cameron Diaz) Just a few short years before she had been the hottest starlet in Hollywood. she had just finished a role against type as Blofeld's man-hating hench-woman in Ian Fleming's first X-rated Bond film "DeathBomb". As Cinnamon McTwat she repeatedly tries to kill James Bond ( Sean Connery) with poison spiders, poison darts, a poison shrimp cocktail. She finally dies from a poison condom which Bond puts on the wrong way out. " I guess I just fucked her to death"
The role was a shock to her loyal fans who wanted nothing more out of her than another mindless Doris Day role. Her career crumbled like a puff pastry in a hailstorm.
She slid into booze and drugs. She had been looking for an unobtrusive moment to throw herself overboard when the Minoa hit the reef in the storm.
Mary Ann Sommerisle (Amanda Peet), A wholesome young woman with a secret. She seems like the girl next door, but was raised by a bizarre pagan cult of tree worshipers off the Oregon coast. Mary Ann was brought up worshiping plants as a more pure life form than we violent animals. She feels that she has betrays her upbringing with each coconut split by her companions.
Professor Roy Hinkley. (Christopher Walken)..brilliant, resourceful, calm in emergencies. His vast knowledge of many fields of science has saved the rest of his companions many times over. Yet only one of them suspect that he is actually Gunter Kurtz, a nazi radiation expert and war criminal. The real professor Hinkley, a nuclear physicist working for the Manhattan project, and searching the crumbling Nazi empire for evidence of Professor Heisenberg's Nazi atomic bomb program. Hinkley had the misfortune to run across a kneeling Kurtz in a secluded area of the Black Forest as Kurtz incinerated records of inmates he had repeatedly irradiated in the course of his studies. Kurtz, wearing a stolen American uniform stood and turned. Hinkley's last words were "Jesus, soldier, you could be my twin." Calling on his ability to size up the potential profound luck in a situation, replied in perfect Midwestern accent," No, I think I could be you." . Then he shot Hinkley with his Luger. Kurtz was able use his close resemblance to Hinkley to make his way through US lines to safety and a new life in the US. He has carefully gotten rid of those who asks too many questions about him.
William "Gilly" Gilligan (Keanu Reeves) Perhaps the stupidest man in the Hawaiian Islands and hardly able to tie a square knot. He is a curious choice for steward and cook aboard the Minoa. His bumbling nature and confusion are nothing more than a cover he has adopted as a secret agent for the Israeli Massad. He has been on the trail of an escaped war criminal for years. His mission is to capture and deliver Gunter Kurtz to Israel for trial or kill him. He'd followed Kurtz when he had relocated to the tropics. Gilly had hardly hidden his surprise when Kurtz bought a ticket for a trip on the Minoa. Now stranded on a small uncharted island in the lesser Marquises, he has to rely on the clever inventions of the man he believes to be his target to survive long enough to accomplish his task. His life, and the lives of everyone else on the island teeters on the brink of Kurtz's mad genius.
Thurston Howell III (Samuel Jackson)The nation's first black multi-billionaire. He clawed his way up from slums of Detroit to start his own hair-care products line. Soon he controlled a country-wide empire including restaurants, manufacturing, broadcasting stations, and his own brand of plant mulch. He is hated as much for his success as for his explosive temper. He tends to call his wife, Eunice "lovey" when she is nearby. To his inner circle he calls her "That mother-fucking bitch".
Eunice "that mother-fucking bitch" Howell ( Darryl Hanna ) Once a beauty queen and mild mannered trophy wife, she had gradually adopted her husband's barbed tongue and overbearing ways in simple self-defense.
Trapped in the loveless prison of her marriage, she realizes that she has servants but no real friends. She is searching for a way to leave him, but knows that he will not take that well. She daydreamed frequentlyof pushing him into the jagged mouth of a convenient shark.
Ginger Grant (Cameron Diaz) Just a few short years before she had been the hottest starlet in Hollywood. she had just finished a role against type as Blofeld's man-hating hench-woman in Ian Fleming's first X-rated Bond film "DeathBomb". As Cinnamon McTwat she repeatedly tries to kill James Bond ( Sean Connery) with poison spiders, poison darts, a poison shrimp cocktail. She finally dies from a poison condom which Bond puts on the wrong way out. " I guess I just fucked her to death"
The role was a shock to her loyal fans who wanted nothing more out of her than another mindless Doris Day role. Her career crumbled like a puff pastry in a hailstorm.
She slid into booze and drugs. She had been looking for an unobtrusive moment to throw herself overboard when the Minoa hit the reef in the storm.
Mary Ann Sommerisle (Amanda Peet), A wholesome young woman with a secret. She seems like the girl next door, but was raised by a bizarre pagan cult of tree worshipers off the Oregon coast. Mary Ann was brought up worshiping plants as a more pure life form than we violent animals. She feels that she has betrays her upbringing with each coconut split by her companions.
Professor Roy Hinkley. (Christopher Walken)..brilliant, resourceful, calm in emergencies. His vast knowledge of many fields of science has saved the rest of his companions many times over. Yet only one of them suspect that he is actually Gunter Kurtz, a nazi radiation expert and war criminal. The real professor Hinkley, a nuclear physicist working for the Manhattan project, and searching the crumbling Nazi empire for evidence of Professor Heisenberg's Nazi atomic bomb program. Hinkley had the misfortune to run across a kneeling Kurtz in a secluded area of the Black Forest as Kurtz incinerated records of inmates he had repeatedly irradiated in the course of his studies. Kurtz, wearing a stolen American uniform stood and turned. Hinkley's last words were "Jesus, soldier, you could be my twin." Calling on his ability to size up the potential profound luck in a situation, replied in perfect Midwestern accent," No, I think I could be you." . Then he shot Hinkley with his Luger. Kurtz was able use his close resemblance to Hinkley to make his way through US lines to safety and a new life in the US. He has carefully gotten rid of those who asks too many questions about him.
William "Gilly" Gilligan (Keanu Reeves) Perhaps the stupidest man in the Hawaiian Islands and hardly able to tie a square knot. He is a curious choice for steward and cook aboard the Minoa. His bumbling nature and confusion are nothing more than a cover he has adopted as a secret agent for the Israeli Massad. He has been on the trail of an escaped war criminal for years. His mission is to capture and deliver Gunter Kurtz to Israel for trial or kill him. He'd followed Kurtz when he had relocated to the tropics. Gilly had hardly hidden his surprise when Kurtz bought a ticket for a trip on the Minoa. Now stranded on a small uncharted island in the lesser Marquises, he has to rely on the clever inventions of the man he believes to be his target to survive long enough to accomplish his task. His life, and the lives of everyone else on the island teeters on the brink of Kurtz's mad genius.