hmph
So. I updated a friggin 4 page thing, and in the midst of proof reading it, my roomates come in with blake, and in a fast attempt to minimize the screen.... gone. all of it. my thoughts, my words, my life...erased. ..i didn't have the strength or the time to replace it.
i've determined, loneliness is the saddest emotion of them all.
Especially when you're dating someone, and surrounded by people.
My boyfriend and me had a fight today...i wanted to walk home..if only i wasn't in johnson. I mean, we have fights all the time, but ones when i won't apologize because i've done nothing wrong, he won't apologize because he doesn't care, and thus neither of us speak? I just don't want this anymore. i miss him and he's here. i know this feeling all to well. he is scared that with everything we're not going to make it...so he's pushing me away, and all i want to do, is run and scream and cry. i ask myself yet again, why is this happening? why do I find myself running from the one person i want to be running to???
as for my last post, here's the summed up version...
no one's ever loved me except for my beren, and i can't speak with him now.
boys don't ever want to be with me, unless they can't have me, and they are more in love with the idea of me, than to ever take the time to get to know me and like me for me.
people in general suck.
I hate my job more and more each day, and i want to quit, but i can't.
things are spinning out of control and i have no control over it, nor can fix it.
i miss my friends, i'm excited about school, but at the same time..i want so badly to just run from everything.
oh, and the one guy i love and would marry right now? won't speak to me, hung up on me, has a kid, and is getting back with his exgirfriend..after she dumps her husband.. ..nice guys. i pick real winners dont i? guys who are jerks, guys who dont like me, guys who puke on cops, i mean, real swell guys. ...i hate all of this. so here it is almost midnight and i have to be up at school in the morning.....so i guess that's about it.
gnite for those who stumble across this..and if you feel like giving a hug?
I can most definetly use one.
i've determined, loneliness is the saddest emotion of them all.
Especially when you're dating someone, and surrounded by people.
My boyfriend and me had a fight today...i wanted to walk home..if only i wasn't in johnson. I mean, we have fights all the time, but ones when i won't apologize because i've done nothing wrong, he won't apologize because he doesn't care, and thus neither of us speak? I just don't want this anymore. i miss him and he's here. i know this feeling all to well. he is scared that with everything we're not going to make it...so he's pushing me away, and all i want to do, is run and scream and cry. i ask myself yet again, why is this happening? why do I find myself running from the one person i want to be running to???
as for my last post, here's the summed up version...
no one's ever loved me except for my beren, and i can't speak with him now.
boys don't ever want to be with me, unless they can't have me, and they are more in love with the idea of me, than to ever take the time to get to know me and like me for me.
people in general suck.
I hate my job more and more each day, and i want to quit, but i can't.
things are spinning out of control and i have no control over it, nor can fix it.
i miss my friends, i'm excited about school, but at the same time..i want so badly to just run from everything.
oh, and the one guy i love and would marry right now? won't speak to me, hung up on me, has a kid, and is getting back with his exgirfriend..after she dumps her husband.. ..nice guys. i pick real winners dont i? guys who are jerks, guys who dont like me, guys who puke on cops, i mean, real swell guys. ...i hate all of this. so here it is almost midnight and i have to be up at school in the morning.....so i guess that's about it.
gnite for those who stumble across this..and if you feel like giving a hug?
I can most definetly use one.