(no subject)
I got a 94% on my statistics midterm!! I am so incredibly proud of myself. Also I got an 88% on the astronomy quiz.... I cannot believe that is Dead week already... I have so much to study for, I really have to hit the books hard. this weekend Im going to watch Alex in the jazz band with shay, that should be enjoyable :) Thanksgiving was wonderful. the whole weekend was really nice.
I take it that you dont read this anymore but if you do, Im going to write down my reasoning for why I sent you an e-mail on thanksgiving. I had a really longggg chat with my parents. I think the reason I am having such an incredibly hard time with this is because I cant have any type of a relationship with you.... a phone call, an e-mail... it drives me crazy, I feel like one of us cheated on the other and we were forced to delete each other. well... I havnt deleted you at all.... but after talking to my parents I just become more and more bitter and angry! I never get angry but with this I cant help it.. why does it have to be this way? I understand that its hard but jesus christ...how hard it is to send an e-mail simply saying "happy thanksgiving" .....its not hard! its keeping the peace!!! I feel like I am going INSANE. in fact Im getting counseled tomorrow... lol sad.. My parents dont understand why it is like this and it was my mom who felt I should break the ice to send a thanksgiving wish... my mom helped me get up enough strength to do it but I also have this incredibly huge soft spot in my heart and i felt like it was the right thing to do. Im still very much in love with you, I had to do it. This is the longest Ive gone with out talking to you and needless to say I feel like Im being punished for being unfaithful or something! I feel like the evil ex that makes you cringe when you think about me.... I just dont think it has to be this way.... if you honestly dont want anything to do with me ever and want nothing from me, no calls, no e-mails, no contact, then send me a message now saying you dont ever want me in your life because that's exactly how i feel, I feel deleted and thrown away. were both good people right? I feel like you've forgotten that... tell me now, and I'll stop everything... I still have hope that you will come around and every one so far has told me that you would but as long as its been, my hope is dwindling... what happened to always being there for me? what happened to this is just for me to make new friends, concentrate on school and if we cross again then its meant to be, how can we cross again if you want nothing to do with me?? Im so incredibly confused....
Im having the worst time
but I dont let others see it.
you know this, Im sure...
why?
I take it that you dont read this anymore but if you do, Im going to write down my reasoning for why I sent you an e-mail on thanksgiving. I had a really longggg chat with my parents. I think the reason I am having such an incredibly hard time with this is because I cant have any type of a relationship with you.... a phone call, an e-mail... it drives me crazy, I feel like one of us cheated on the other and we were forced to delete each other. well... I havnt deleted you at all.... but after talking to my parents I just become more and more bitter and angry! I never get angry but with this I cant help it.. why does it have to be this way? I understand that its hard but jesus christ...how hard it is to send an e-mail simply saying "happy thanksgiving" .....its not hard! its keeping the peace!!! I feel like I am going INSANE. in fact Im getting counseled tomorrow... lol sad.. My parents dont understand why it is like this and it was my mom who felt I should break the ice to send a thanksgiving wish... my mom helped me get up enough strength to do it but I also have this incredibly huge soft spot in my heart and i felt like it was the right thing to do. Im still very much in love with you, I had to do it. This is the longest Ive gone with out talking to you and needless to say I feel like Im being punished for being unfaithful or something! I feel like the evil ex that makes you cringe when you think about me.... I just dont think it has to be this way.... if you honestly dont want anything to do with me ever and want nothing from me, no calls, no e-mails, no contact, then send me a message now saying you dont ever want me in your life because that's exactly how i feel, I feel deleted and thrown away. were both good people right? I feel like you've forgotten that... tell me now, and I'll stop everything... I still have hope that you will come around and every one so far has told me that you would but as long as its been, my hope is dwindling... what happened to always being there for me? what happened to this is just for me to make new friends, concentrate on school and if we cross again then its meant to be, how can we cross again if you want nothing to do with me?? Im so incredibly confused....
Im having the worst time
but I dont let others see it.
you know this, Im sure...
why?