to old friends..
i would want to see you again..yes.. but i always see trouble not to far behind.. for once i am actually picked up a lot of pieces that used to be my life.. but there is a dreaded downfall as well; fun isnt in my vocab anymore...the things i used to enjoy no longer exist.. i feel like i am dying inside and im all alone.. i trusted you and i guess i was a cheap laugh for everyone.. am i supposed to pour my heart out to you only to be left broken.., my heart is confetti and i cant stop crying knowing it is my fault that you cant love me, that we cant make it, that i am sick and will die early...but it still remains that, i love you more than you will ever know and i cant stop it....but i cant be around when all i feel is dead.. i dont even want to be around my family anymore.. people just pushed me too far.....and no, i no longer care, all i feel is pain and it hurts to breathe.. to know that i am alive.. to open my eyes, so see the sun in the sky.. all things that let you know you are still trapped.. well you were right i am very hated these days.. my dad wants to put me in the asylum, mom can barely help herself, grandma thinks i need serious help.. no one listens anymore.. no one cares....why should they?
Im sorry that i could never let you in...to tell you everything.. but you are one that i trusted and will love forever...all i got from it was to be broken again.. In just wish i knew how to make you happy.. how to make you stay.. to not hurt me again.. It was really sick and fucked up how you told me that you loved me, that you broke up with her, tell ppl we are back together...make me believe that until it comes to the day the truth comes out.. and you rip whats left of my heart and begin stabbing it with rusty nails.. i try so hard to take care of it all but i cant figure out what to do so it ends up right..
im sorry im not perfect, or what you wanted.. im sorry i am crazy, and im not beautiful.. that im not rich and i can give you everything in the world.. but i can say that i was honest and i meant it when i said i would love you until the day i died.. i just wish you did, and you would show me out of my own darkness..
I will love you forever.. no matter what i say i can never stop loving you.. being here without you is killing me inside.. I cry everyday wishing you would call or walk through the door and hold me before i break to pieces..
I wanted to live my life with you..
I wanted to know the feeling of being loved by someone who wont hurt you..
I wanted to know what a home felt like..
I wanted to be able to smile like i once could..
I wanted to make someone else happy and love them, be with them forever..
I wanted to see life, without the pain..
I want you to hold me and never let go..
I want you to love me and never give up..
I want to be with you for the rest of my life..
I guess i wanted too much, so that is why i am alone...all alone.. only the darkness is my friend now..so guess im not alone after all..
Remember me how i was, not how i am now.. im nearly beyond help..
Rivers
Im sorry that i could never let you in...to tell you everything.. but you are one that i trusted and will love forever...all i got from it was to be broken again.. In just wish i knew how to make you happy.. how to make you stay.. to not hurt me again.. It was really sick and fucked up how you told me that you loved me, that you broke up with her, tell ppl we are back together...make me believe that until it comes to the day the truth comes out.. and you rip whats left of my heart and begin stabbing it with rusty nails.. i try so hard to take care of it all but i cant figure out what to do so it ends up right..
im sorry im not perfect, or what you wanted.. im sorry i am crazy, and im not beautiful.. that im not rich and i can give you everything in the world.. but i can say that i was honest and i meant it when i said i would love you until the day i died.. i just wish you did, and you would show me out of my own darkness..
I will love you forever.. no matter what i say i can never stop loving you.. being here without you is killing me inside.. I cry everyday wishing you would call or walk through the door and hold me before i break to pieces..
I wanted to live my life with you..
I wanted to know the feeling of being loved by someone who wont hurt you..
I wanted to know what a home felt like..
I wanted to be able to smile like i once could..
I wanted to make someone else happy and love them, be with them forever..
I wanted to see life, without the pain..
I want you to hold me and never let go..
I want you to love me and never give up..
I want to be with you for the rest of my life..
I guess i wanted too much, so that is why i am alone...all alone.. only the darkness is my friend now..so guess im not alone after all..
Remember me how i was, not how i am now.. im nearly beyond help..
Rivers