The reason i am always empty inside..
In the middle of 1984 My mother found out that she was expecting triplets...She was thrilled although three babies was a lot for anyone to become too exited about.. Later into the pregnancy near November, During an ultrasound they only saw two babies, not three.. The doctor told her that the third one had passed away and was no longer visible.. My parents were sad to have lost one, but they were still having twins.. She went to term with us and on February 19th at 12:57AM in 1985, My brother Richard Joseph was born weighing 7 lbs and 8 ounces.. I followed in next on February 20th at 1:13AM.. Richard and I were nearly identical, but I was born with black hair and dark eyes...He was born with a silvery blonde hair and bright blue eyes..
We went home within 12 hours of being alive.. On February, 24th...It wasn't three days when during our nap when mom came to check on us, she found us curled up together and ice cold.. We were rushed to the hospital within minutes we were alive and breathing again like nothing ever happened.. The doctor had us on check for the next 3 hours and since nothing changed were allowed to go back home..
At home, I wouldn't let Richard out of my sight and I would cry until they brought him back to me.. I knew something was going to happen, I knew I was going to loose my brother.. That next afternoon, when we were laid in the crib to take a nap.. Richard asphyxiated on a large amount of spit up.. The moment that his heart stopped I fell into a coma.. I spent the next two months in the (NICU) Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.. A week into the coma, the doctor told my mom that I was heartbroken and I didn't have the will to fight what ever it was off.. My mom cried and became really depressed because she thought she had lost all of us.. my parents continued with each heart breaking day at my incubator hoping that I would come back..
Six weeks into the coma, my heart stopped for a total of six minutes before it started up again and i cried for the first time in so long..
when i was a newborn my heart stopped 6mins, when i was 7 years old it stopped over 10mins and i was in a coma for 4 months. when i was 9 i tried to commit suicide and it stopped 8mins before i was revived, at 17 my heart stopped for the record for over 15mins and i woke up on my own in the morgue, when i was 19 my heart stopped 5mins before i was revived again.. that was in a massive seizure..
My heart has stopped almost 50mins in my 22 years of life..
i've spent nearly a year of my life in a coma, yet i still breathe.. i still go on.. and i am still teaching..that is why i have had many tell me it is an honor to know me..