My impatient tendancies are unsettling
Have you ever done something and new everything was different from that moment on? I mean my impatience, my inability to wait... It bothers me yet everytime I set out to change it, I end up back at square 1. I thought I wanted something and finally got the chance for it to happen and when that chance came and went without me feeling any sense of accomplishment I moved on. Was that right of me? If I felt like nothing were to come of the situation at hand should I have stopped trying? I mean I did nothing but run different simulations of the same situation in my mind for months and when the situation went not badly but not exceptional either I left and went on to settle.... I am not sure I even want what I settled on... I know and one point in my life my choice would have made me ecstatic, but now that I am at where I am I am no longer sure. And all of this I have talked to Morgan about and some close family but no one will help me... Morgan was the closest thing I had to help and when I asked her If since waiting for what I thought to be great was seeming to be a waste of my time should I just settle for less and she told me maybe what I thought was great was less and my less would turn out to be great... I hope she is right... but I doubt I will ever truly know. I have no idea what I am doing right now and sometimes it feels great and other times I know it will all work but other times i just sit here and doubt everyhting, to only be reassured that I need not to worry... So as for now my upsetting impatience will be put to the back of my mind and I will countinue to trudge through for now...