Here comes another song about Mexico.
The subject line has nothing to do with this whole immigration snafu. Just a disclaimer.
So I'm feeling nostolgic and I'm listening to The Refreshments. They didnt quite take off like I was hoping they would, but during the 1996-1997 school year, they were the best thing since sliced bread to me and my friends. Well I think Mary Ann was the only other one that honestly appreciated them as much as I did. Of course, this is back when we were going to have a kick ass apartment with a green awning over the bathroom door and a plastic rocket slide in our living room. Oh to be 17 again. I had everything planned out, and new exactly what my life was going to be like. What, you might be pondering, did my life hold at 17? Let me tell you.
In my mind I had every intention of moving to California, where I would obtain sweet ass sweet employment at like a photo hut or something. I so would not have waited tables, because I just dont have the tolerence for that shit. Anyway, there I'd be, developing film and getting insight into the every day lives of seemingly normal people's every day lives, and would be able to tell almost every aspect of their lives by the moments they decided to catch on film. This would undoubtedly lead to me starting to write down different scenarios in total strangers lives. Then, by some sheer twist of fate, someone would stumble upon these various scenes, and suggest I take them to Warner Bros. or 20th Century Fox, maybe Mirimax, I don't know. On a whim, I'd oblidge this idea, and my ideas would go over like pancakes at a lumberjack camp. (I use this analogy because I went to a faux logging camp once in Minnesota, and they served pancakes with every meal, so I assume Paul Bunyon and his crew loved them...). Anyway, they would turn my story into a screenplay, and then green light it. But who would play me, the pessamistic but loveable heorine in this movie? They would have decided that no one could capture the magic that is me but me, thereby launching me into full fledge movie stardom. And that my friends is all I had planned.
As it is, I stayed right here in cornfield land. I suppose I never really had the balls to do all that, but it was nice to think i was that confident once. I guess its a fun story to tell.
Truth is, people grew up, grew apart, and nothing has been the same since about June of 1997. I lost time with friends because I'm stubborn and proud (of what i don't know), and made choices that I wish with everything I have I could change. I constantly wonder who I would be today if I had just done one thing different. Would I be happier and better off? Is it true that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, and at some point it all falls into place at the weirdest moment and then it all makes perfect sense? All those why and what if questions are magically answered and you know that everything is right with your corner of the world? Or does it ever really happen that way? I guess i'm wigged out because I look around and I see everyone else and its like they have a purpose, and they are here for a reason, and I dont see that in myself. I feel like I'm just wandering around aimlessly. and its not fun like it was 10 years ago. Then it was like I was aimless, but sooner or later I'd see a destination. I'm not seeing one these days. I feel so pointless. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to be doing, because I sure dont feel like what i'm doing is worth while. I guess I just want to have a purpose or something.
I didnt mean for this all to be so pathetic. I was just listening to a cd that reminded me of how rockin I used to be, and came to the realization of how lame I've become.
So I'm feeling nostolgic and I'm listening to The Refreshments. They didnt quite take off like I was hoping they would, but during the 1996-1997 school year, they were the best thing since sliced bread to me and my friends. Well I think Mary Ann was the only other one that honestly appreciated them as much as I did. Of course, this is back when we were going to have a kick ass apartment with a green awning over the bathroom door and a plastic rocket slide in our living room. Oh to be 17 again. I had everything planned out, and new exactly what my life was going to be like. What, you might be pondering, did my life hold at 17? Let me tell you.
In my mind I had every intention of moving to California, where I would obtain sweet ass sweet employment at like a photo hut or something. I so would not have waited tables, because I just dont have the tolerence for that shit. Anyway, there I'd be, developing film and getting insight into the every day lives of seemingly normal people's every day lives, and would be able to tell almost every aspect of their lives by the moments they decided to catch on film. This would undoubtedly lead to me starting to write down different scenarios in total strangers lives. Then, by some sheer twist of fate, someone would stumble upon these various scenes, and suggest I take them to Warner Bros. or 20th Century Fox, maybe Mirimax, I don't know. On a whim, I'd oblidge this idea, and my ideas would go over like pancakes at a lumberjack camp. (I use this analogy because I went to a faux logging camp once in Minnesota, and they served pancakes with every meal, so I assume Paul Bunyon and his crew loved them...). Anyway, they would turn my story into a screenplay, and then green light it. But who would play me, the pessamistic but loveable heorine in this movie? They would have decided that no one could capture the magic that is me but me, thereby launching me into full fledge movie stardom. And that my friends is all I had planned.
As it is, I stayed right here in cornfield land. I suppose I never really had the balls to do all that, but it was nice to think i was that confident once. I guess its a fun story to tell.
Truth is, people grew up, grew apart, and nothing has been the same since about June of 1997. I lost time with friends because I'm stubborn and proud (of what i don't know), and made choices that I wish with everything I have I could change. I constantly wonder who I would be today if I had just done one thing different. Would I be happier and better off? Is it true that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, and at some point it all falls into place at the weirdest moment and then it all makes perfect sense? All those why and what if questions are magically answered and you know that everything is right with your corner of the world? Or does it ever really happen that way? I guess i'm wigged out because I look around and I see everyone else and its like they have a purpose, and they are here for a reason, and I dont see that in myself. I feel like I'm just wandering around aimlessly. and its not fun like it was 10 years ago. Then it was like I was aimless, but sooner or later I'd see a destination. I'm not seeing one these days. I feel so pointless. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to be doing, because I sure dont feel like what i'm doing is worth while. I guess I just want to have a purpose or something.
I didnt mean for this all to be so pathetic. I was just listening to a cd that reminded me of how rockin I used to be, and came to the realization of how lame I've become.