my take on the fubared music situation & why downing grey sucks (other than coz of course!)
ok here's the skinny of what fueled my wondering about things. I was an unpaid vocal coach & an unpaid vocal backup singer.
They knew from the get go that I had no real mic on stage singing experience.
The sound guy bob didn't even think to mention that I wanted to be sure I was heard and I should speak up on this subject.
As a result I was flat- I had a guitar loudly to my right & a bass loudly right behind me (both with loud monitors ablazing, basically doubling their sound & making it even more impossible to hear myself- it's lucky I was even close to the notes I was supposed to sing. They must have been gleeful I chose such a hideous spot to sit. They didn't say boo about it & nobody, not even the supposedly excellent sound guy made a suggestion to sit elsewhere. wtf?
And another wrinkle? I was told a couple days before the recording (they are obsessed with recordings!) that I had to change what notes I was singing, resulting in me listening to the recording & learning a part that was much higher than the very nice low harmony part I had figured out(which Andrew tried to imply I was making up after he said I had nailed it in the earlier rehearsal I was in). Oh yes! I buckled down & spent another multiple hours working on getting it solid because I gave a fuck how I sounded & I wanted to be sure that I got it right. Not that I even knew what part they wanted me to sing (there are seven different parts- you would think that they would want to be clear on which part I was supposed to sing- am I a mind reader? no.. not really). Coz didn't do a good job of explaining this (you know leads- al lstuck in the melody part ;) )and when I tried to ask the group what part they wanted me to sing? Notta zilch.. zippo.
Andthe really sad bit? they ree all basically singing the same fuckingpart & my really juicy & really good pat that I nailed? wasn't sung at all so I sung whta they told me to like a good little bsxck up singer.
So new part, no rehearsal time with the group. & they wanted to do demo recording to showcase their sound? Uhh- I apparently was in the deep end wit the sharks circling & I blithely did it anyway without a clue as to their true intent: The first time I sang with them & Natalie did I was told I completely nailed it & that I sounded excellent.
But this time? I could do nothing right. I was a bit awkward walking on stage because doh! I have a disability (they knew this but were confronted with my reality as I tried not to knock over things as I climbed over the mess of chords) & they wouldn't want me to knock over one of their mics, right??
So I carefully walked over the way too many chords & managed to not fall. & sat in bill's guitar chair throughout the song in order to be there to sing the harmony parts.
Dave harassed me for having my finger in my ear (which was the only way I could hear myself at all because the sound guy bob didn't bother to mention that I should let him know if I could hear myself & I really couldn't.
OH yeah- bob had a glitch with his sound equipment occur the night before & he didn't bother to mention THAT either- so he couldn't tell how I was sounding, nobody could tell how I was sounding until the recording was officially made.
I wasn't aware this was an issue having never sung on stage with a crazy loud band before... I 've actually never had a problem being heard before & I've NEVER been flat in a recording in my entire life!.
As a result of all this nonsense? I was flat & not just for a second. I was hideously flat for long sustained pitches..
You would think, if they actually wanted me to sing with them I'd get a second chance to try it with a monitor & a new position, right? It certainly had extenuating circumstances (which they were probably glad existed!!!) seems like the way of an ummm "technical" rehearsal? right... nope.
So now they had the "proof" to coz that I should never sing on stage & I sucked, which they absolutely fucking knew wasn't true. I didn't suck... Oh & by the way? there are recordings of coz singing badly & they let him stay- probably because he was necessary... They needed his vast knowledge of the music they were essentually making a musical photocopy of (I did't let slip my negative feelings on tribute bands either- go me! *lol*)
I find out after the fact that the recording was completely fubared.... everyone had a copy of this hideous recording & when I talked about it they didn't say "oh god! that was awful! you need to do that with a monitor!" Nope.
Coz did for sure but noone else said boo.. they didn't say a damn thing about how awful it sounded & I know for a fact that these guys are really hard on each other. really damn hard on each other. so.. why were they so nice to me?
Becausethey didn't want to piss Coz off my hurting his gf... - They didn't want to lose their very good lead singer & they were scrambling to find ammunition to prove to him that I shouldn't perform with them & oh boy did they find it.
I had an email conversation with bob telling me not to sweat it- they'll fix the sound problem (note: he never said I couldn't sing, in fact he admitted that he absolutely knew I could sing & that I would be fine once the problem/glitch was fixed & I'd be fine next gig) & when I said I intended to use those expensive shoes I got in order to perform with the group & figure out how to sing in front of the mic comfortably by myself? (there are mic nights & kasraoke all over ithaca & I am morethan capable of figuring this out!)
nary a peep.... when I sent them the facebook post I made about not wanting to sing badly in their first gig... Notta.. zilch.. zippo.. again!
Sooooooooooooo... again.. why were they being so nice to me? Dave kindly said he wasn't going to do anything with the recording- my reputation was safe with him. ummm.. delete the fucking recording bitch! you certainly don't NEED this recording! wtf???
Why would they want to keep that hideous recording of my background vocal sung badly exaggerated over the entire band ? I mean I was louder than the lead singer... wtf sound guy wtf?? so why wasn't anything said? not long after I got the message that I wasn't going to sing on stage after all at the hudson music fest with the implication that I would never get a chance to try again of course.
NOT a huge surprise but... They didn't bother to offer me a second chance to try it with monitors.
so why not? they knew I could sing.... but.. they weren't willing to give me a chance in the slightest.
At the hudson fest I did my best to be supporto girl but Natalie had wayyyyyyyyy too much vibrato (making them sound bad as a result- ugh! who chooses to sing with too much vibrato on purpose? what utter nonsense!) & it didn't help their vocal sound.The instruments were fine. But floyd's sound, if they really wanted to DO floyd like the album? they weren't even close on the singing bits. dave did a nice two part-er with Coz in the pseudo duet in brain damage that was nice but...
Though the lead singer was excellent as usual, they essentually had no group harmony singing in the pink floyd dark side of the moon set, other than Natalie kicking ass on the soulful part & way too much vibrato on the other bit she CHOSE to do.
I gritted my teeth. I wasn't happy but I survived with my dignity moderately intact. But seriously? if they didn't think I sang it adequately.. why did they say that Natalie was still singing wit them on stage? - she did NOT sound good other than the soulful parts. the too much vibrato was really yucky!...
Then there was a weird thing vocal coaching wise. Natalie told Coz that he shouldn't overdo it with the warmups.
Coz has a tendency to not warm up enough so I was having a tug of war battle with an unkown opponent & of course
Coz was trying to spare my already badly damaged ego by not telling me why he was being such a putz. So essentually my coaching wasn't listened to & the lead singer was at 85% of his singing abilty instead of the 100% of his ability level. I had to listen to bob's smug smarmy tips about singing because we rode up toegther & I hasdto smell his & Lori's stinking cigarette breath & clthing- yuck! To behonest Bob doesn't really know as much as he thinks he does and he was completely disregarding my emailed request to him thta we focus n getting Coz warmed up in the fucking car...
I got Coz to sing at 100% for his audition with the band. It was because of me that he got the spot in the band.
I sent out an email to coz telling him I was pretty frustrated with him & annoyed by the fact that he tried to get me to up his score (I insisted that he sang at 85% but he kept arguing with my estimation of how he did. Yeshis charisma onstage made it easier to ognorethe glitches but I was insistent)
I also told him D/s could not play a part in my coaching him so he could not impose his domly dom power on me when we were discussing his singing, which thankfully he agreed with me on.
He shared my email to him with the group without my knowledge, probably wit the D/s edited out I hope!. That's ok they needed to hear what I had to say about my coaching expectations not being met & there was more discussion which I wasn't involved in. My biggest issue was with him not ta;lking to me about his comnfusion. Communication is key in a coaching situation & I mkade it very clearthta he needed o discuss things with me not jyust argue with me.
I also sent an email to the group informing them that I intended to tackle my own problems & not impose my needs on the group & I made a comment on natalie's vibrato. Natalie chose to respond to the vibrato thing saying the vibrato was intentional.. umm no... bad choice... the band liked it . that's fine but weird- you know she IS Andrew's gf I suppose *lol* . she also apologized for getting involved with my coaching.
But why was the fact that I got screwed over ignored & not mentioned?
I even asked for a vocals only rehearsal before that bad recording was made & I didnt even hear the crickets chirping- dead silence. nothing. apparently the ONE rehearsal I couldn't go to ?
They had a vocals only rehearsal which they didn't even bother to share with me the information I needed to know.... which fucking part did they want me to do???
what was their intention excpecting me to mind read & ad lib when they were supposedly doing a "demo video??? It was an unnannounced audition. I was informed after the fact that I had failed the audition, lessthan a week before the gig I spent a lot of money to get to loko good on stage. shoesm a chair for me to sit on...
I even asked Natalie ahead of time what part she was intending to sing & could she please record it on her phone & email it to me. erm nope... no response.
This from a lady who when we first met and she heard me sing? told me she wanted to try to sing extra stuff outside the band (& never got back to me about it by the way). so there's verification that Natalie knew I could sing & sing very well...
So I got a message telling me that now, after asserting my unpaid vocal coaching rights & disgruntled feelings that they didn't even try to let me be heard via monitor?
Bob of course denied his responsibility in the matter. I still maintain that even a halfway decent sound guy who knew that the singer didn't have experience with miced singing? He would ask her if she could hear herself. Nothing was said., even after I said I couldn't really hear myself & nothing was attempted to make sure I could hear myself.
I was told that after this email I no longer was allowed to go to rehearsals (umm coaching requires that you go to rehearsal don't you think?) & I'm not allowed to contact them in any way. soooooooooooooooooooooo.... no discussion.. case closed...
I was set up to fail- sink or swim.
They won't admit it but it must have been decided upon way ahead of time how to let the disabled chick down easy- because they were grasping at straws to find fault with me- another piece of evidence. a recording of me singing on stage with the lead singer- I was sounding great looking good & I know it exists out there in the ether, because I'd seen it on Coz's computer- I wasn't flat at all- in fact I was solid on my part & excellent.
The fact is that they wantedto feel better about themselcves about throwing me in the trash. so they will of course deny that was their intention ewhatsoever cause you know I pobably can't do it, right? *lol!* riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
I call bullshit!
But they carefully edited me out of the video without discussing it with me or the lead singer at all. I have half a mind to try to get my own copy of the good video of me singing backup vocals & prove y point by postingit on youtube(which Dave ridiculously tied to imply that I was flat- I was definitely NOT flat and he fucking knows it!
Why did they do this? Because they had guilt about hurting my feelings. They didn't want to tell me my awkward walking on stage was a problem for them. It had nothing to do with my singing at all. I made them feel uncomfortable & they assumed any audience would feel uncomfortable by my difficulties in walking.
end of case. It's the truth. Not the spoken truth but it's absolutely the truth. Life goes on.
On the positive side I'm insanely glad that it wasn't really my singing at all but infuriated that they wouldn't tell us the truth.
In my opinion It reflects badly on the group.
I lost a lot of respect for the group when I realized the cowardice involved in making this type of decision without honesty in the slightest.
Because who wants to see themselves as asshats who are prejudiced against people with diabilities, right?
If they had said "uh kaaren, we would prefer if you NOT sit in a chair in the center of the stage where it's glaringly obvious that you have physical limitations.
If they had suggested that I sit behind the keyboards & sing where I wasn't really visible? I'd have been perfectly ok with this.
If they had been honest about their feelings on this & not just shut me out? I'd have been cool with it. It was after all just ONE bloody song. did they think it would kill me?
But to let me think they thought it was my singing? or that I wasn't good enough to hold my own part? umm no! not cool...
I don't like the fact that they chose to intentionally hurt my feelings in a much worse way than ever before. I laid myself bare here & got smacked in the nose with an unfair newspaper.
Bad form downing grey! Bad form!
They knew from the get go that I had no real mic on stage singing experience.
The sound guy bob didn't even think to mention that I wanted to be sure I was heard and I should speak up on this subject.
As a result I was flat- I had a guitar loudly to my right & a bass loudly right behind me (both with loud monitors ablazing, basically doubling their sound & making it even more impossible to hear myself- it's lucky I was even close to the notes I was supposed to sing. They must have been gleeful I chose such a hideous spot to sit. They didn't say boo about it & nobody, not even the supposedly excellent sound guy made a suggestion to sit elsewhere. wtf?
And another wrinkle? I was told a couple days before the recording (they are obsessed with recordings!) that I had to change what notes I was singing, resulting in me listening to the recording & learning a part that was much higher than the very nice low harmony part I had figured out(which Andrew tried to imply I was making up after he said I had nailed it in the earlier rehearsal I was in). Oh yes! I buckled down & spent another multiple hours working on getting it solid because I gave a fuck how I sounded & I wanted to be sure that I got it right. Not that I even knew what part they wanted me to sing (there are seven different parts- you would think that they would want to be clear on which part I was supposed to sing- am I a mind reader? no.. not really). Coz didn't do a good job of explaining this (you know leads- al lstuck in the melody part ;) )and when I tried to ask the group what part they wanted me to sing? Notta zilch.. zippo.
Andthe really sad bit? they ree all basically singing the same fuckingpart & my really juicy & really good pat that I nailed? wasn't sung at all so I sung whta they told me to like a good little bsxck up singer.
So new part, no rehearsal time with the group. & they wanted to do demo recording to showcase their sound? Uhh- I apparently was in the deep end wit the sharks circling & I blithely did it anyway without a clue as to their true intent: The first time I sang with them & Natalie did I was told I completely nailed it & that I sounded excellent.
But this time? I could do nothing right. I was a bit awkward walking on stage because doh! I have a disability (they knew this but were confronted with my reality as I tried not to knock over things as I climbed over the mess of chords) & they wouldn't want me to knock over one of their mics, right??
So I carefully walked over the way too many chords & managed to not fall. & sat in bill's guitar chair throughout the song in order to be there to sing the harmony parts.
Dave harassed me for having my finger in my ear (which was the only way I could hear myself at all because the sound guy bob didn't bother to mention that I should let him know if I could hear myself & I really couldn't.
OH yeah- bob had a glitch with his sound equipment occur the night before & he didn't bother to mention THAT either- so he couldn't tell how I was sounding, nobody could tell how I was sounding until the recording was officially made.
I wasn't aware this was an issue having never sung on stage with a crazy loud band before... I 've actually never had a problem being heard before & I've NEVER been flat in a recording in my entire life!.
As a result of all this nonsense? I was flat & not just for a second. I was hideously flat for long sustained pitches..
You would think, if they actually wanted me to sing with them I'd get a second chance to try it with a monitor & a new position, right? It certainly had extenuating circumstances (which they were probably glad existed!!!) seems like the way of an ummm "technical" rehearsal? right... nope.
So now they had the "proof" to coz that I should never sing on stage & I sucked, which they absolutely fucking knew wasn't true. I didn't suck... Oh & by the way? there are recordings of coz singing badly & they let him stay- probably because he was necessary... They needed his vast knowledge of the music they were essentually making a musical photocopy of (I did't let slip my negative feelings on tribute bands either- go me! *lol*)
I find out after the fact that the recording was completely fubared.... everyone had a copy of this hideous recording & when I talked about it they didn't say "oh god! that was awful! you need to do that with a monitor!" Nope.
Coz did for sure but noone else said boo.. they didn't say a damn thing about how awful it sounded & I know for a fact that these guys are really hard on each other. really damn hard on each other. so.. why were they so nice to me?
Becausethey didn't want to piss Coz off my hurting his gf... - They didn't want to lose their very good lead singer & they were scrambling to find ammunition to prove to him that I shouldn't perform with them & oh boy did they find it.
I had an email conversation with bob telling me not to sweat it- they'll fix the sound problem (note: he never said I couldn't sing, in fact he admitted that he absolutely knew I could sing & that I would be fine once the problem/glitch was fixed & I'd be fine next gig) & when I said I intended to use those expensive shoes I got in order to perform with the group & figure out how to sing in front of the mic comfortably by myself? (there are mic nights & kasraoke all over ithaca & I am morethan capable of figuring this out!)
nary a peep.... when I sent them the facebook post I made about not wanting to sing badly in their first gig... Notta.. zilch.. zippo.. again!
Sooooooooooooo... again.. why were they being so nice to me? Dave kindly said he wasn't going to do anything with the recording- my reputation was safe with him. ummm.. delete the fucking recording bitch! you certainly don't NEED this recording! wtf???
Why would they want to keep that hideous recording of my background vocal sung badly exaggerated over the entire band ? I mean I was louder than the lead singer... wtf sound guy wtf?? so why wasn't anything said? not long after I got the message that I wasn't going to sing on stage after all at the hudson music fest with the implication that I would never get a chance to try again of course.
NOT a huge surprise but... They didn't bother to offer me a second chance to try it with monitors.
so why not? they knew I could sing.... but.. they weren't willing to give me a chance in the slightest.
At the hudson fest I did my best to be supporto girl but Natalie had wayyyyyyyyy too much vibrato (making them sound bad as a result- ugh! who chooses to sing with too much vibrato on purpose? what utter nonsense!) & it didn't help their vocal sound.The instruments were fine. But floyd's sound, if they really wanted to DO floyd like the album? they weren't even close on the singing bits. dave did a nice two part-er with Coz in the pseudo duet in brain damage that was nice but...
Though the lead singer was excellent as usual, they essentually had no group harmony singing in the pink floyd dark side of the moon set, other than Natalie kicking ass on the soulful part & way too much vibrato on the other bit she CHOSE to do.
I gritted my teeth. I wasn't happy but I survived with my dignity moderately intact. But seriously? if they didn't think I sang it adequately.. why did they say that Natalie was still singing wit them on stage? - she did NOT sound good other than the soulful parts. the too much vibrato was really yucky!...
Then there was a weird thing vocal coaching wise. Natalie told Coz that he shouldn't overdo it with the warmups.
Coz has a tendency to not warm up enough so I was having a tug of war battle with an unkown opponent & of course
Coz was trying to spare my already badly damaged ego by not telling me why he was being such a putz. So essentually my coaching wasn't listened to & the lead singer was at 85% of his singing abilty instead of the 100% of his ability level. I had to listen to bob's smug smarmy tips about singing because we rode up toegther & I hasdto smell his & Lori's stinking cigarette breath & clthing- yuck! To behonest Bob doesn't really know as much as he thinks he does and he was completely disregarding my emailed request to him thta we focus n getting Coz warmed up in the fucking car...
I got Coz to sing at 100% for his audition with the band. It was because of me that he got the spot in the band.
I sent out an email to coz telling him I was pretty frustrated with him & annoyed by the fact that he tried to get me to up his score (I insisted that he sang at 85% but he kept arguing with my estimation of how he did. Yeshis charisma onstage made it easier to ognorethe glitches but I was insistent)
I also told him D/s could not play a part in my coaching him so he could not impose his domly dom power on me when we were discussing his singing, which thankfully he agreed with me on.
He shared my email to him with the group without my knowledge, probably wit the D/s edited out I hope!. That's ok they needed to hear what I had to say about my coaching expectations not being met & there was more discussion which I wasn't involved in. My biggest issue was with him not ta;lking to me about his comnfusion. Communication is key in a coaching situation & I mkade it very clearthta he needed o discuss things with me not jyust argue with me.
I also sent an email to the group informing them that I intended to tackle my own problems & not impose my needs on the group & I made a comment on natalie's vibrato. Natalie chose to respond to the vibrato thing saying the vibrato was intentional.. umm no... bad choice... the band liked it . that's fine but weird- you know she IS Andrew's gf I suppose *lol* . she also apologized for getting involved with my coaching.
But why was the fact that I got screwed over ignored & not mentioned?
I even asked for a vocals only rehearsal before that bad recording was made & I didnt even hear the crickets chirping- dead silence. nothing. apparently the ONE rehearsal I couldn't go to ?
They had a vocals only rehearsal which they didn't even bother to share with me the information I needed to know.... which fucking part did they want me to do???
what was their intention excpecting me to mind read & ad lib when they were supposedly doing a "demo video??? It was an unnannounced audition. I was informed after the fact that I had failed the audition, lessthan a week before the gig I spent a lot of money to get to loko good on stage. shoesm a chair for me to sit on...
I even asked Natalie ahead of time what part she was intending to sing & could she please record it on her phone & email it to me. erm nope... no response.
This from a lady who when we first met and she heard me sing? told me she wanted to try to sing extra stuff outside the band (& never got back to me about it by the way). so there's verification that Natalie knew I could sing & sing very well...
So I got a message telling me that now, after asserting my unpaid vocal coaching rights & disgruntled feelings that they didn't even try to let me be heard via monitor?
Bob of course denied his responsibility in the matter. I still maintain that even a halfway decent sound guy who knew that the singer didn't have experience with miced singing? He would ask her if she could hear herself. Nothing was said., even after I said I couldn't really hear myself & nothing was attempted to make sure I could hear myself.
I was told that after this email I no longer was allowed to go to rehearsals (umm coaching requires that you go to rehearsal don't you think?) & I'm not allowed to contact them in any way. soooooooooooooooooooooo.... no discussion.. case closed...
I was set up to fail- sink or swim.
They won't admit it but it must have been decided upon way ahead of time how to let the disabled chick down easy- because they were grasping at straws to find fault with me- another piece of evidence. a recording of me singing on stage with the lead singer- I was sounding great looking good & I know it exists out there in the ether, because I'd seen it on Coz's computer- I wasn't flat at all- in fact I was solid on my part & excellent.
The fact is that they wantedto feel better about themselcves about throwing me in the trash. so they will of course deny that was their intention ewhatsoever cause you know I pobably can't do it, right? *lol!* riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
I call bullshit!
But they carefully edited me out of the video without discussing it with me or the lead singer at all. I have half a mind to try to get my own copy of the good video of me singing backup vocals & prove y point by postingit on youtube(which Dave ridiculously tied to imply that I was flat- I was definitely NOT flat and he fucking knows it!
Why did they do this? Because they had guilt about hurting my feelings. They didn't want to tell me my awkward walking on stage was a problem for them. It had nothing to do with my singing at all. I made them feel uncomfortable & they assumed any audience would feel uncomfortable by my difficulties in walking.
end of case. It's the truth. Not the spoken truth but it's absolutely the truth. Life goes on.
On the positive side I'm insanely glad that it wasn't really my singing at all but infuriated that they wouldn't tell us the truth.
In my opinion It reflects badly on the group.
I lost a lot of respect for the group when I realized the cowardice involved in making this type of decision without honesty in the slightest.
Because who wants to see themselves as asshats who are prejudiced against people with diabilities, right?
If they had said "uh kaaren, we would prefer if you NOT sit in a chair in the center of the stage where it's glaringly obvious that you have physical limitations.
If they had suggested that I sit behind the keyboards & sing where I wasn't really visible? I'd have been perfectly ok with this.
If they had been honest about their feelings on this & not just shut me out? I'd have been cool with it. It was after all just ONE bloody song. did they think it would kill me?
But to let me think they thought it was my singing? or that I wasn't good enough to hold my own part? umm no! not cool...
I don't like the fact that they chose to intentionally hurt my feelings in a much worse way than ever before. I laid myself bare here & got smacked in the nose with an unfair newspaper.
Bad form downing grey! Bad form!