I'm out of Hospital
I came out of my short stay in hospital on Thursday. To the people I pissed off, offended and otherwise annoyed the crap out of. My words are not adequate in expressing how sorry I really am.
For a few years now I've always known that I have needed help. But for whatever reason when I did do something about it I never followed through it. I'd start give it a few weeks then simply go back to my normal routine only for the demons to get worse and worse.
Which is basically where I'm at now. For the 1st time that I can remember I was actually wanting to end it all. Admittedly I never had a plan or thought of a way but I was in such a state that if it had of ended I would not have cared.
But deep down, I knew I was stronger then that. It would of been a selfish act on my part. There is so much in life that a person has to look forward to that despite the problems and demons a person faces life is worth living.
Where to now? Well I've signed up to take part in a clinical trial that I guess caters for the type of depression that I suffer from. One of the conditions for my early release from hospital is to be regularly contacted by a crisis group, and to undergo treatments associated with the clinical trial which does seem at this point in time to be really promising and something I am looking forward in participating.
Will this work for me? I honestly can not answer that. The only response I can really give is that one day I will look back on these past few years and pass on this experience to other people who are feeling down and give them the hope that I have just recently been giving.
Regards,
Skirt Boy
For a few years now I've always known that I have needed help. But for whatever reason when I did do something about it I never followed through it. I'd start give it a few weeks then simply go back to my normal routine only for the demons to get worse and worse.
Which is basically where I'm at now. For the 1st time that I can remember I was actually wanting to end it all. Admittedly I never had a plan or thought of a way but I was in such a state that if it had of ended I would not have cared.
But deep down, I knew I was stronger then that. It would of been a selfish act on my part. There is so much in life that a person has to look forward to that despite the problems and demons a person faces life is worth living.
Where to now? Well I've signed up to take part in a clinical trial that I guess caters for the type of depression that I suffer from. One of the conditions for my early release from hospital is to be regularly contacted by a crisis group, and to undergo treatments associated with the clinical trial which does seem at this point in time to be really promising and something I am looking forward in participating.
Will this work for me? I honestly can not answer that. The only response I can really give is that one day I will look back on these past few years and pass on this experience to other people who are feeling down and give them the hope that I have just recently been giving.
Regards,
Skirt Boy