(no subject)
STEVE WAS MY FRIEND by Bob Grahmann
I approached my 19th birthday with real apprehension. I was a freshman in a small college in Michigan 1,000 miles away from my home in New Jersey. I was an only child who hadn't had much in the way of birthday celebrations, so I wasn't expecting much. But on the night of my birthday my girlfriend took me for a walk, then remembered that she had "forgotten" her books in a classroom. As we entered that dark classroom, a balloon popped, the lights wooshed on, and there were all my college friends yelling "surprise!" And there was Steve in the forefront. Steve, along with my girlfriend (who is now my wife) conceived of, planned, and organized the party. A good time was had by all. We ate some cake, played a few games, then drifted back into the dorm. For most of the group it was just another nice night of stopping at a party for a friend, no big deal, But it was a big deal for me! My first ever real birthday party! And Steve, of course, was behind it. It was the best thing he ever did for me, to that point.
Early in my freshman year, I had met Steve in class. He was a sophomore, I was a year younger, and he took an interest in me. We got to be friends. We threw a ball around together, studied together, and shared together. He liked me, really liked me, and showed it in many ways. I did the same for him. But that birthday party cemented it. It was a tangible expression of his thoughtfulness, and our friendship. I was committed as his friend.
Around the time of that party Steve had invited me to a small informal Bible study in his room, just a few of us friends looking at the stories in the Gospels together and sharing our thoughts. I was searching for God. The presence of the Vietnam War (it was the late 60's) kept the issues of life and death always before the young people of my generation. I had a pretty good church background but now I was questioning it, wondering, searching for reality in my relationship to God. So when Steve invited me I went. It was STEVE, after all. Of course I went.
After a few weeks Steve and I had some personal time together to share about the study. Steve asked me some pretty pointed questions about my relationship to God. I assured him that I had one (but I really didn't!). He kept probing. Finally, he went over the content of the study again: who Jesus is, what He had done for me, and my need to respond. "But I go to church!" I said. Not good enough, we both knew. Finally, long into the discussion, it hit me. The simple truth I had "known" all my life finally became real to my whole being! Jesus had died for ME for MY sins, and wanted me to repent, to turn from my sin, and commit myself to Him. I made the commitment that night, right in Steve's room. It was wonderful.
When I got up from my knees, Steve asked me if I was serious. Was I serious?? Of Course! "OK," he said, "If you're serious about this, let's grow together in Christ. Be at my room 7 AM tomorrow morning and we'll start." Ouch. But I was there. We went over the parable of the soils in Mark 4 together, and Steve asked me again what kind of soil I wanted to be. "The one that bears fruit," I said, and meant it.
Over the course of the next year Steve and I met weekly for a time of Bible study and growing and sharing together. We still met at other times, of course. We were friends! But, oh, those times together in the Scripture! I would ask questions, argue, share, unburden myself, and reveal victories and defeats. Steve did the same, opening up to me as much as I did with him. He had been a Christian for 3 years so he knew more. He pointed me to passages that would help and we went over them together.
During that year of meeting together Steve poured his life into mine. He taught me everything he knew about the Christian life, everything he was learning about Jesus. He taught me how to study the Bible, to think biblically, pray (it was with Steve that I heard the sound of my own voice praying aloud for the first time), prioritize my life for God's Kingdom, and even how to share my faith. He introduced me to his Christian fellowship where I became genuine friends with other believers on campus.
It was so natural! It was the normal outgrowth of our friendship. At no time did I feel that Steve was lording it over me, or that he had some kind of program I was to fit into.
I also noticed that he wasn't only investing in me, he was doing this same kind of thing with about four other guys! That was awesome to think about then and even more awesome when I think about it now. He was a good student, but he didn't give himself to grades. He was a good musician, but he didn't give himself to music. He was asked to be in a fraternity, an important thing on our small private campus if one wanted to have a social life. There is nothing wrong with frats, and for many Christian students it's good to join one and be an influence. But he didn't give himself to that fraternity. He gave himself to us. He invested himself in us.
I asked him about this once. How was he doing it? Why was he doing it? We weren't exactly the Big Men On Campus (although he got along well with the big men on campus, and the small men, and the big and small women on campus). Why was he investing so much in us? He said that as he saw it, aside from God Himself there are only a few things that are eternal, that will last forever. Two important ones of these are the Scriptures and people. Jesus said, "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my Words will not pass away." So the Word is eternal.
And people last forever, one way or another. "I want to invest myself in eternity, in things that will last," Steve would say. "So I give myself to the Bible, and to you guys, to help you grow." Boy, did he!
The next year, Steve was sitting at his desk studying. None of us knew it, not even Steve, (at least he never told us) but he had a weak blood vessel in his brain. As he was sitting there, he had an aneurism. His blood vessel burst. His brain filled with blood. He keeled over, and in 15 minutes he was dead. 21 years old. A Christian for 4 years. Nice guy. Good student. Loved everybody. Invested in 5 guys. Then he was gone.
The school chaplain asked me to say a few words at a memorial chapel service for Steve. There were 500 students there, people Steve had touched in one way or another. I shared that there are two things that will last: The Word of God and people; and that we should give ourselves to those things.
Then the 5 of us guys met: awestruck, angry, sad, and solemn. We concluded that if Steve had given himself to studies they would put a plaque in the academic building. If he had given himself to music they would have put a plaque in the music building. If he had given himself to that frat they might have named the house after him. But he gave himself to us. WE were his memorials. We committed ourselves to do for others what Steve had done for us, to invest ourselves in other people to help them grow in Christ. Now, almost 25 years later, each of us is still in Christian service. One is an associate Director of Campus Ministries for the Navigators. Through us, Steve is influencing hundreds, thousands perhaps.
I visited Steve's grave in Colorado a few years ago. On it is 1 Corinthians 15:58: "Therefore my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." Steve was my friend. It was not in vain.
I approached my 19th birthday with real apprehension. I was a freshman in a small college in Michigan 1,000 miles away from my home in New Jersey. I was an only child who hadn't had much in the way of birthday celebrations, so I wasn't expecting much. But on the night of my birthday my girlfriend took me for a walk, then remembered that she had "forgotten" her books in a classroom. As we entered that dark classroom, a balloon popped, the lights wooshed on, and there were all my college friends yelling "surprise!" And there was Steve in the forefront. Steve, along with my girlfriend (who is now my wife) conceived of, planned, and organized the party. A good time was had by all. We ate some cake, played a few games, then drifted back into the dorm. For most of the group it was just another nice night of stopping at a party for a friend, no big deal, But it was a big deal for me! My first ever real birthday party! And Steve, of course, was behind it. It was the best thing he ever did for me, to that point.
Early in my freshman year, I had met Steve in class. He was a sophomore, I was a year younger, and he took an interest in me. We got to be friends. We threw a ball around together, studied together, and shared together. He liked me, really liked me, and showed it in many ways. I did the same for him. But that birthday party cemented it. It was a tangible expression of his thoughtfulness, and our friendship. I was committed as his friend.
Around the time of that party Steve had invited me to a small informal Bible study in his room, just a few of us friends looking at the stories in the Gospels together and sharing our thoughts. I was searching for God. The presence of the Vietnam War (it was the late 60's) kept the issues of life and death always before the young people of my generation. I had a pretty good church background but now I was questioning it, wondering, searching for reality in my relationship to God. So when Steve invited me I went. It was STEVE, after all. Of course I went.
After a few weeks Steve and I had some personal time together to share about the study. Steve asked me some pretty pointed questions about my relationship to God. I assured him that I had one (but I really didn't!). He kept probing. Finally, he went over the content of the study again: who Jesus is, what He had done for me, and my need to respond. "But I go to church!" I said. Not good enough, we both knew. Finally, long into the discussion, it hit me. The simple truth I had "known" all my life finally became real to my whole being! Jesus had died for ME for MY sins, and wanted me to repent, to turn from my sin, and commit myself to Him. I made the commitment that night, right in Steve's room. It was wonderful.
When I got up from my knees, Steve asked me if I was serious. Was I serious?? Of Course! "OK," he said, "If you're serious about this, let's grow together in Christ. Be at my room 7 AM tomorrow morning and we'll start." Ouch. But I was there. We went over the parable of the soils in Mark 4 together, and Steve asked me again what kind of soil I wanted to be. "The one that bears fruit," I said, and meant it.
Over the course of the next year Steve and I met weekly for a time of Bible study and growing and sharing together. We still met at other times, of course. We were friends! But, oh, those times together in the Scripture! I would ask questions, argue, share, unburden myself, and reveal victories and defeats. Steve did the same, opening up to me as much as I did with him. He had been a Christian for 3 years so he knew more. He pointed me to passages that would help and we went over them together.
During that year of meeting together Steve poured his life into mine. He taught me everything he knew about the Christian life, everything he was learning about Jesus. He taught me how to study the Bible, to think biblically, pray (it was with Steve that I heard the sound of my own voice praying aloud for the first time), prioritize my life for God's Kingdom, and even how to share my faith. He introduced me to his Christian fellowship where I became genuine friends with other believers on campus.
It was so natural! It was the normal outgrowth of our friendship. At no time did I feel that Steve was lording it over me, or that he had some kind of program I was to fit into.
I also noticed that he wasn't only investing in me, he was doing this same kind of thing with about four other guys! That was awesome to think about then and even more awesome when I think about it now. He was a good student, but he didn't give himself to grades. He was a good musician, but he didn't give himself to music. He was asked to be in a fraternity, an important thing on our small private campus if one wanted to have a social life. There is nothing wrong with frats, and for many Christian students it's good to join one and be an influence. But he didn't give himself to that fraternity. He gave himself to us. He invested himself in us.
I asked him about this once. How was he doing it? Why was he doing it? We weren't exactly the Big Men On Campus (although he got along well with the big men on campus, and the small men, and the big and small women on campus). Why was he investing so much in us? He said that as he saw it, aside from God Himself there are only a few things that are eternal, that will last forever. Two important ones of these are the Scriptures and people. Jesus said, "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my Words will not pass away." So the Word is eternal.
And people last forever, one way or another. "I want to invest myself in eternity, in things that will last," Steve would say. "So I give myself to the Bible, and to you guys, to help you grow." Boy, did he!
The next year, Steve was sitting at his desk studying. None of us knew it, not even Steve, (at least he never told us) but he had a weak blood vessel in his brain. As he was sitting there, he had an aneurism. His blood vessel burst. His brain filled with blood. He keeled over, and in 15 minutes he was dead. 21 years old. A Christian for 4 years. Nice guy. Good student. Loved everybody. Invested in 5 guys. Then he was gone.
The school chaplain asked me to say a few words at a memorial chapel service for Steve. There were 500 students there, people Steve had touched in one way or another. I shared that there are two things that will last: The Word of God and people; and that we should give ourselves to those things.
Then the 5 of us guys met: awestruck, angry, sad, and solemn. We concluded that if Steve had given himself to studies they would put a plaque in the academic building. If he had given himself to music they would have put a plaque in the music building. If he had given himself to that frat they might have named the house after him. But he gave himself to us. WE were his memorials. We committed ourselves to do for others what Steve had done for us, to invest ourselves in other people to help them grow in Christ. Now, almost 25 years later, each of us is still in Christian service. One is an associate Director of Campus Ministries for the Navigators. Through us, Steve is influencing hundreds, thousands perhaps.
I visited Steve's grave in Colorado a few years ago. On it is 1 Corinthians 15:58: "Therefore my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." Steve was my friend. It was not in vain.