(no subject)
Something has been bugging me lately, something I don’t have the courage to reveal. Reflecting as I write my testimony for YUGO I realize just how much of my own past I have forgotten. Those things that I left behind so many years ago are beginning to tug at me again. In my mind I know that I left my life to find something better. I’ve found it in God and He’s given my life meaning, and blessed me with so many things, things like friends I love. But I’m beginning to miss some of the things of my past, ya know? I’m so sick of struggling with my own thoughts. It’s like they’re mocking me constantly. Memories of just chilling with old friends on the rooftop, doing some stupid stuff typical of a boy in the process of maturing, and having no care in the world. Now I gotta deal with old friends coming up to me and asking me how come I don’t hang with them anymore. I see some people just hanging out in their groups having a good time and inside I’m just wishing I had that. I have those few people that I can say are definitely more then friends. Every time those memories of how I met each of them come to me, I can’t help but shake my head and just smile.
But now I’m stuck in a position I don’t know how to get out of. Those people that I love (my family and my beloved brothers and sisters in Christ) only know the ‘me’ that I’ve become through knowing and loving God. Most of them can’t even imagine the disasters and experiences I’ve gone through that have helped mold me into a better person. And those friends I’ve left behind only know the ‘me’ I used to be, and don’t even have the slightest clue why I’ve become so “godly” and why I changed. I’m stuck in the position where I know there’s nearly nobody that can understand me. I’m trying to explain a dilemma that I’m trying to get out of. Forgive me if I don’t make any sense or if this entry just jumps around.
I need that person who can just understand me. I need somebody that can help me put the pieces together. I don’t need advice, and I don’t need any encouragement, I just need someone that can just hear what I have to say and have it all make sense in their head.
Man, this entry just jumps around everywhere. I’m just going to stop here.
This will be the only time i cry for help. i'm wishing for someone to UNDERSTAND
But now I’m stuck in a position I don’t know how to get out of. Those people that I love (my family and my beloved brothers and sisters in Christ) only know the ‘me’ that I’ve become through knowing and loving God. Most of them can’t even imagine the disasters and experiences I’ve gone through that have helped mold me into a better person. And those friends I’ve left behind only know the ‘me’ I used to be, and don’t even have the slightest clue why I’ve become so “godly” and why I changed. I’m stuck in the position where I know there’s nearly nobody that can understand me. I’m trying to explain a dilemma that I’m trying to get out of. Forgive me if I don’t make any sense or if this entry just jumps around.
I need that person who can just understand me. I need somebody that can help me put the pieces together. I don’t need advice, and I don’t need any encouragement, I just need someone that can just hear what I have to say and have it all make sense in their head.
Man, this entry just jumps around everywhere. I’m just going to stop here.
This will be the only time i cry for help. i'm wishing for someone to UNDERSTAND