(no subject)

[skint]

things are too complicated and contradicting with her. the one thing i cant tolerate is disrespect. telling me to call her office line so that my name wont be reflected in her phone. i'd rather not call u anymore. asking me why i cant close one eye? cos tts not me! and tts not the life i want. saying that im so scary and tt i act crazy and tt it reminds her of the way i behaved in the past? well im never like this, and she's the cause of it. with such a messed up history tt we had together, i felt tt its so impt for us to build up trust with each other. i kept emphasizing but i guess its not tt impt to her. she said that shes scared of how crazy i can be, to the point where i cant control my emotions.

there are actually so many things about her that i noe i wont be happy with. shes selfish, she will never priorities me (even if she does, its just for a moment..)

i can never be myself around her cos i cant say out how i feel without her (maybe) getting mad at me. is this a relationship that i want?