Best friends forever, that's what they said.
I've been reading through HIS old journey entries. And almost daily at that, I'm sure that makes me sound silly. But I miss him. I miss every memory, every smile, every tear. I just miss every single moment. So I guess, I can't help myself from re-reading them. Pages of thoughts filled with emotions, laughter, and pain. Things I'm not willing to let go of so easily. I can't help but feel like I've failed him, I've failed him in the biggest way. I already know I have. I just wish I knew how to fix it. I feel like I've failed myself. I have failed myself, and I know I've disappointed the one person I never wanted to. I wish I could find the words to explain myself, to explain everything. But I know none of it is truly enough. I really messed up. I was WRONG. And I'll have no problems admitting that, for once. Pride hasn't gotten me anywhere but here. And here is utterly broken. The shoes on the other foot and I don't like it much. I should have never did those things, I should have never said those things. How can I forgive myself when I don't know if he'll forgive me. I need his forgiveness, and I need him. I just want him to see how sorry I am, that's what I need him to see. I'm sorry best friend, can you please open up to me? I miss you.