For fucks sake.
My skin looks like crap. It's pale and ashey. My eyes have black circles, although I'm getting enough sleep. I'm getting "thinner" and I don't see it. I feel gross. I just feel fatter, more worthless. The emotional negativity I feel is awful. I couldn't describe it, and I wish I could. I've discovered I strongly dislike the mind set of young girls who think anorexia makes you "pretty." I look like death without make up, and I feel even worse. My hair still falls out and I can count my bones. This isn't WILLPOWER. This is self hate. Beautiful girls are healthy and happy. Why can't they see that. It makes me sad. Don't envy my fasting. I'm really sick. I have health problems from anorexia. I'm trapped. This isn't anything to envy, I know that I have a problem. I know I'm ill. End of story. This world is exhausting and I have no real desire to change. No one should WANT this. And I'm sick of hearing about people that do. I'm sick to death of people saying they envy my fasting. I'm a god damn anorexic, I'm sick.