hard to keep going-
OK, this is the 3rd day of the new year- I try so hard to keep my calories and food in check, I write it all down, tally it up, and that f&*&ing scale won't go down!!! I need to really analyze this process to see what I need to do differently- I should be going down steadily but no, just the same old, same old- if I eat sweets and treats, that old scale sure knows how to go up in a hurry- seems like 500 to 1000 extra calories equates to a 2-3 lb gain,, but a cut out of 500-1000 doesn't shake the extra lbs off- I do lose the gained lb or 2 by going into a deficit, but no more of the extra... very discouraging- I don't want to throw in the towel on this whole process, but I do want to see some results for all my work and denial to myself...
I know winter is getting me down- especially when I can't go out... cabin fever is a real thing- I feel myself getting mad when B. starts going on and on without getting to the point, he tells me what I need to do- continually,, I can't do projects, he can't deal with the noise , the mess or the inconvenience,, I get boxed in, discouraged, mad , 'f**k it attitude, that I really don't want for myself. I'm sure this attitude doesn't help my weight loss efforts, does it?
Dealing with the Shitterson's also is hard on me- most recently R Shitterson as usual wouldn;'t take my call when I wanted to ask about the uncashed check I'd sent M for this birthday- I know J probably threw that check away when it came in the mail- But R said he'd misplaced it, that I should just void it out of the checkbook- what a 3 ring circus this gets to be. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter- and it really is better that I'm not in the middle of their shenanignas all the time- but the disregard that is blatant to me- that does still bother me. I think I need another outlet- a part time job or volunteer job- something to get me out of this house and out into the world- I wouldn't obsess about what I was eating or not eating- I would be busy with other things... Need to look up job service online again.. 246.9 this am- but I did have 2 C ice cream, chocolate pretzle rod, 5 minatures last night :( so up went the scale this am. I did throw out the extra candies in the garbage when I took it out this am- I have to remember this when I'm tempted next time to buy the cheap candy- no, Jon doesn't want it nor need it, and he won't eat it- the same can't be said for you, can it??
I know winter is getting me down- especially when I can't go out... cabin fever is a real thing- I feel myself getting mad when B. starts going on and on without getting to the point, he tells me what I need to do- continually,, I can't do projects, he can't deal with the noise , the mess or the inconvenience,, I get boxed in, discouraged, mad , 'f**k it attitude, that I really don't want for myself. I'm sure this attitude doesn't help my weight loss efforts, does it?
Dealing with the Shitterson's also is hard on me- most recently R Shitterson as usual wouldn;'t take my call when I wanted to ask about the uncashed check I'd sent M for this birthday- I know J probably threw that check away when it came in the mail- But R said he'd misplaced it, that I should just void it out of the checkbook- what a 3 ring circus this gets to be. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter- and it really is better that I'm not in the middle of their shenanignas all the time- but the disregard that is blatant to me- that does still bother me. I think I need another outlet- a part time job or volunteer job- something to get me out of this house and out into the world- I wouldn't obsess about what I was eating or not eating- I would be busy with other things... Need to look up job service online again.. 246.9 this am- but I did have 2 C ice cream, chocolate pretzle rod, 5 minatures last night :( so up went the scale this am. I did throw out the extra candies in the garbage when I took it out this am- I have to remember this when I'm tempted next time to buy the cheap candy- no, Jon doesn't want it nor need it, and he won't eat it- the same can't be said for you, can it??