Crucify myself
I have a date tomorrow. A date that I really care about, and one that I've already found myself deconstructing before it has even happen.
He works at a bar (I know, I cringe saying that), and he is younger than I am. My good friend (his coworker) noticed that the two of us have really easy conversation between us, and put the idea in both of our heads that maybe a date would be a good idea. I would never have asked this guy out because a) he's physically more attractive than I am and b)he's young and catches the eye of ever gay guy within 5 feet of him.
That being said, the other night I stopped by the bar he works at and he made every effort to spend as much time engaged in conversation with me as possible. I summoned up some deeply hidden courage and gave him my number and asked him if he'd like to get some coffee with no pressure, of course.
Since then, I've been freaking out. I can't imagine that this guy could see beyond my neuroticism, recent weight gain, or insecurity enough to really care about me the way I need to be cared for. On the other hand, my stomach is in my throat in a way that it hasn't been in a while. I want to be funny and attractive for someone, which is a nice motivator.
Don't ever let me wonder why I've been single for the past 6 years. I will leave you with this clip, which has been humoring me for the past 2 days.
He works at a bar (I know, I cringe saying that), and he is younger than I am. My good friend (his coworker) noticed that the two of us have really easy conversation between us, and put the idea in both of our heads that maybe a date would be a good idea. I would never have asked this guy out because a) he's physically more attractive than I am and b)he's young and catches the eye of ever gay guy within 5 feet of him.
That being said, the other night I stopped by the bar he works at and he made every effort to spend as much time engaged in conversation with me as possible. I summoned up some deeply hidden courage and gave him my number and asked him if he'd like to get some coffee with no pressure, of course.
Since then, I've been freaking out. I can't imagine that this guy could see beyond my neuroticism, recent weight gain, or insecurity enough to really care about me the way I need to be cared for. On the other hand, my stomach is in my throat in a way that it hasn't been in a while. I want to be funny and attractive for someone, which is a nice motivator.
Don't ever let me wonder why I've been single for the past 6 years. I will leave you with this clip, which has been humoring me for the past 2 days.