oh fine.. I'll update
so.. life kinda sucks lately..
I pulled my back out about two months ago and went to a chirorpractor blah blah blah.. long story short i have a tilted spine, scoliosis and some neurological disfunctions that cause me to be stronger on one side than the other. Basically I've been in a lot of pain lately..getting treatment three times a week.. just really down about how my health is constantly getting worse and never better.
I think my mom's sarcoid has relapsed.. my mom was diagnosed with this disease a few years ago that is just a monster.. she has it in her lungs and it causes a lot of shortness of breath and discomfort.. it basically attacks any organ of the body. When she had it before I really believed that she was dying and it was pretty much the second worse time of my life.
Anyways.. her doctor's did a chest x ray and her lymphnodes are enlarged and there's a bunch of other bad signs.. I'm just really worried and I don't think that either of us have the strength to go through that battle again. She gets a CT scan on Friday though..
I'm very very lonely. I have all these friends that are in amazing relationships and its just getting to me. I'm 20 years old now.. God send me someone! I have one friend getting married, one just moved in with her boyfriend, and two in serious relationships. Just seeing pictures and away messages with "I love you blah blah blah" make me want to shoot myself. I'm very tired of feeling so alone all of the time. I just want that one person to think about before you go to bed like "I wish ____ was here right now"
school is going well.. really well actually.. I got in D in health on my first test but hopefully I'll get better but I'm doing really well in music and art. Working on final projects.. I hate the end of the semester rush.. so I'm trying to avoid that.. This is my art project.. a recreation of stonehenge.. opinions? let me know if it looks like a 4 year old did it or anything..
tis all.. later <3
I pulled my back out about two months ago and went to a chirorpractor blah blah blah.. long story short i have a tilted spine, scoliosis and some neurological disfunctions that cause me to be stronger on one side than the other. Basically I've been in a lot of pain lately..getting treatment three times a week.. just really down about how my health is constantly getting worse and never better.
I think my mom's sarcoid has relapsed.. my mom was diagnosed with this disease a few years ago that is just a monster.. she has it in her lungs and it causes a lot of shortness of breath and discomfort.. it basically attacks any organ of the body. When she had it before I really believed that she was dying and it was pretty much the second worse time of my life.
Anyways.. her doctor's did a chest x ray and her lymphnodes are enlarged and there's a bunch of other bad signs.. I'm just really worried and I don't think that either of us have the strength to go through that battle again. She gets a CT scan on Friday though..
I'm very very lonely. I have all these friends that are in amazing relationships and its just getting to me. I'm 20 years old now.. God send me someone! I have one friend getting married, one just moved in with her boyfriend, and two in serious relationships. Just seeing pictures and away messages with "I love you blah blah blah" make me want to shoot myself. I'm very tired of feeling so alone all of the time. I just want that one person to think about before you go to bed like "I wish ____ was here right now"
school is going well.. really well actually.. I got in D in health on my first test but hopefully I'll get better but I'm doing really well in music and art. Working on final projects.. I hate the end of the semester rush.. so I'm trying to avoid that.. This is my art project.. a recreation of stonehenge.. opinions? let me know if it looks like a 4 year old did it or anything..
tis all.. later <3